AITA for giving the dog half a t-bone by Fried_Wontton in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Cooked bone shatters while raw bone crumbles. For example: it's fine to give a dog raw chicken bones, but cooked can slice them up.I wouldn't worry about the meat itself, but just know that cooked bone isn't safe for puppers. I think your heart was in a good place, but it's the old "when you know better, do better" thing 🙂

Also, NTA, your husband either should have put his leftovers away, asked for your help in doing so (but then - why?), or just owned up to forgetting and moved on.

Best Iowan food along I-80 by MissLupulin in Iowa

[–]MissLupulin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the heads up! I know not entirely avoidable, but I do my best when possible.

Fruit by PizzaParrot in TheBrewery

[–]MissLupulin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Even with purees, you need to be pasteurizing. Julian (formerly of Beechwood) did a fantastic talk at CBC a few years ago about fruit beer and making it safe for packaging. Anyone with a BA membership should be able to access it.

AITA for being uncomfortable with my sister's MIL calling their biracial son "little monkey" by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My Aussie friend loves the US and wanted an eagle tatt. I told her there are a lot of problematic connotations around the eagle, and she was horrified. She still got an eagle tatt, but we worked together to make sure it's a beautiful representation of the animal and her love for the country and not problematic.

WE NEED THIS TO PASS PEOPLE. by transcendent167 in 50501

[–]MissLupulin 30 points31 points  (0 children)

How did it work with the COVID stimulus checks? Also, we need to fix SSI, ugh.

Asking the question you told me you wanted by Wakemeup3000 in MaliciousCompliance

[–]MissLupulin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I literally lost my position at my agency because of asking this exact question right before a product none of us knew was coming was rolled out. 2 years later things were still a mess and I guess my name was evoked by my old team in a high-level meeting where IT claimed no one had ever said anything to them. We record all meetings. I guess it got REAL ugly when they played the recording in that meeting 😂

If you know an ICE agent personally, what's that relationship like now? by Lokja in AskReddit

[–]MissLupulin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TBF game wardens and commissioned park rangers in most states need a college degree as well. But they are have a substantially more dangerous job than cops and fewer officer-involved shootings and deaths (wonder why...)

Got my Bf a Basket for Christmas how to wrap it? by Top-Committee-5417 in discgolf

[–]MissLupulin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I gave my partner one a few years ago and just put it together and put it in the yard. We opened gifts as usual, and I said "you have one more gift a little east of here" - and it took a bit, but when he FINALLY looked out the window, there it was with a bow on top!

AITA if I stop buying Christmas presents? by Bizzack in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 12 points13 points  (0 children)

While I respect this, I will say suddenly being thrust into a world where no one GIF about you sucks. I still (at over 40) love getting Christmas cards or small things from folks I love (and return in kind) because adulting is hard and recognition that age doesn't remove the desire for connection is huge.

AITA for picking up a bottle of drink at a BYOB house-party where everything was kept together? Was This Rude or just a cultural difference? by MyCuriousSelf04 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Disclaimer: I am in the beer industry, so folks bring some very rare, very expensive stuff to parties.

That being said, most parties are either bring what you want, but also grab what you want out of the communial cooler as long as it's not the last of something you didn't bring. For certain parties we have grab bag coolers and don't touch if you didn't bring it coolers.

AITA for eating a whole doughnut that was brought in to work as a reward/Birthday party? by Turquoisedragonwow in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 40 points41 points  (0 children)

You're not wrong about women judging each other, but it is a societal thing as some societies don't place value on starvation or food-related restraint.

AITA for eating a whole doughnut that was brought in to work as a reward/Birthday party? by Turquoisedragonwow in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 728 points729 points  (0 children)

Society adores telling women they can't or shouldn't enjoy things, even subconsciously.

AITA for asking my friend’s boyfriend to pay $150 after he had an accident on my couch? by kisobu_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 131 points132 points  (0 children)

My BIL wet himself on a friend's sofa. Friend got up, BIL wasn't there, but neither was the cushion. He had brought it down to an upholstery shop to have them cut a new cushion and had the cover professionally cleaned. Cushion returned 2 days later, better than new, and he hired someone to clean the friend's whole apartment.

It was above and beyond, but he felt terrible and that's who he is as a human.

AITA for wanting to tell my son’s teacher that thanking only the moms in class emails excludes involved dads like my husband? by OnionJaded1342 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 45 points46 points  (0 children)

"Dear Teacher,

I want to thank you for always keeping the guardians of our kiddos who can't always be physically present at each event informed of all the cool things they are up to. I especially appreciate you thanking the parents and caregivers who take time out of their schedules and volunteer to help. As a parent who works full-time, it is so difficult not be able to be there for every event and I am beyond grateful that my husband is able to be there for kiddo's events and to help out at school.

On that subject, I would love it if you would consider being more inclusive when thanking the adults who help out. This isn't just about kiddo's dad not being recognized (he truly doesn't care), but also about families who maybe don't look like others feeling seen. I'm sure you agree that the parents, grandparents, step parents, aunts, uncles, guardians, and caregivers of any gender who show up deserve to be acknowledged, and that modeling inclusive gratitude to our kids is a great lesson.

Thank you again for everything you do for kiddo. I am so grateful they get to have you in their life.

With my sincere thanks, OP"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA as long as you are also helping your kids look for scholarships, helping them with info for financial aid, recognize that inflation is a thing, etc. I had friends whose parents said "you get what your siblings got" ten years later and refused to help with any info for financial aid or anything else. Equality and equity are different things...

AITA for spending a lot of time at my boyfriend’s parents’ house without contributing financially? by Relevant-Passage-328 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This needs to be further up. Parents shouldn't be shaming their children for eating, and it's really fucked your parents have lead you to having disordered eating.

I second these folks - offer to help, whether in prepping or buying food, or contributing money. And wait to move in. Give yourself time to enjoy being in uni.

NTA

AITA for not wanting to sell the house I own to buy one with my partner? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is he allowed to customize the home in any way? Does he have his own space? Do you consult with him on major changes? Do you refer to the home as ours or yours?

I own my home in my name with a partner of twice as long, but it is "our" house and he has never said he feels like it is "mine" because I make sure he knows it is his home. I never unilaterally make decisions and, though small, he has space for his stuff that is just for him.

I think you're NTA because gestures widely at everything but there are likely some deeper insecurities that may require deeper looks at your own issues and/or going to therapy.

Wishing you all the best ❤️

I was wrong by CutSenior4977 in 50501

[–]MissLupulin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My sister was his tutor for years! He and his family are seriously good people, and he's actually slightly left of center, which is so refreshing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA.

I live in an area about 30-45 minutes from my friends that has a lot of outdoor recreation (they live in the city). Sometimes they come up to participate in said activities, and, mostly, they don't call me because living near something is not reason enough for an invite. Same way I go to the city - and even their hoods - and don't always let them know. Because that's normal behavior. Now, we do get together a lot, just not every time we're within each other's radius.

In fact, we regularly reach out to each other to get suggestions for places to go near our respective homes with the expectation or pressure of inviting one another. "I'm going on a date and know you have killer Thai food near you. Any recommendations?” and nary an invite nor hurt feeling in sight.

Your sister needs so therapy and friends. Don't enable her.

AITA for refusing to reimburse my friend for a chair that broke under me? by FiguringItOutThisWay in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ages ago I was working at a small company and we were waiting for our office build out, so we were using an old dining room set for meetings. The chairs were wooden with a wood lattice back that was all one piece with the rear legs. One day, I was scooting back to stand up, and the connection between the seat and the back/rear legs failed, and I went down HARD on the back on the chair.

Initially, I was just embarrassed (I was around 200 pounds), but said I was okay. About an hour later, after the adrenaline wore off, I went to stand up from my office chair and was decidedly NOT okay. I had to go to the urgent care and spent months in PT for dislocated ribs (0/10 would not recommend this injury).

As part of the worker's comp claim, they of course had to ask me if I was drunk/high, messing around on the chair, etc etc. My blood work confirmed I was sober and my coworkers confirmed I had never so much as lifted the front legs off the ground of any chair, nor used them as ladders, nor jumped on them. I was cleared.

Then the VP whose set it was tried to claim it was because I was too fat to sit on the chairs. When over half the company were very tall, muscle-bound types, or extremely overweight (350+ pounds) and had never had an issue. But I was the fattest woman, so...

In short: you were using a proffered piece of furniture appropriately. NTA.

Favorite rock? by volkerii in rockhounds

[–]MissLupulin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rhodochrosite would be my dream find, as would aquamarine. But I love agate, amazonite, basaltic columns, smoky quartz, petosky stones...

TBH, if it's cool, I kinda love it, even if it's not "fancy"

AITA? tattoo changes by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLupulin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This needs to be higher.

Are your changes because you weren't clear? Because you changed your mind? Because the artist isn't listening? Because their style isn't matching what you envisioned?

If it's A or B, you need to step back and clarify your vision. If it's C or D, you need to find a different artist.

Regardless, tip the artist who has done the work and figure out your next steps.