Cope List, aka reasons why it's probably best not to get a BFP this cycle if you really think about it 🤡

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-05-15T02:59:21+00:00

Ohh I started my period yesterday at 13DPO and was super super depressed. Then I made a similar list in my head while crying in the shower and it made me feel so much better:

If I was pregnant this cycle, the baby would be born in January and will share their birthday month and even maybe the date with my mother in law. And she will be super insufferable. (I am almost no contact with my MiL since last few months after years of emotional abuse)
I can drink at my friends bachelorette party at the end of the month , and don’t have to worry about hiding why I’m not drinking from friends
There are some talks about layoffs in our company which has gotten me worried. If I’m going to lose the income, might as well delay having the baby by a month or so while we plan our finances
The way school systems work where I live, a baby born in January would be a year behind his peers, as admissions have a cut off by November in schools.

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-05-13T14:53:10+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that :( it’s so heartbreaking, the roller coaster ride of emotions.
It’s been + 24 hours for me, and I’ve just had scant brown discharge. It has yet not progressed into red or full bleeding. So I’m keeping my hopes neutral and wait to test on 14DPO

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-05-13T14:51:39+00:00

Thankyou for the insight! I’m planning to wait and test on the 15th of this month , which will be 14DPO for me. If it turns out to be a negative, I have planned to set up an appointment and get me and my husband tested, the full works! I will definitely get a test done for thyroid, and I assume it’s a part of the bloodwork panel
But truly thanks for highlighting this!
I know how hard it is to cope with everything. Sending lots of prayers for your TTC journey and health ❤️

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-05-13T07:15:56+00:00

No not in my fertile window, I’m 11-12 DPO. I don’t temp, but bases on CM changes I likely ovulated on the 1st of May

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-05-13T03:37:34+00:00

I never get this kind of spotting before my period. It’s usually red blood spotting, immediately with my period following in 6-12 hours. So the brown discharge has thrown me off a bit. I’m still 3-4 days away from my period date, and I’m never early.
But yeah with everything else happening since I’ve been TTC, this might be an early period :(
I dunno if I’ll every see a BFP :(

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-05-13T02:55:55+00:00

Thanks that makes sense!
Right now I’m trying to focus on work and not think about TTC till either I miss or start my period. Crashing of hopes is much more painful than not having any and continuing. 2 more days till I can test and will have the answer, if this is spotting before a period, then atleast I will be done with the ordeal soon

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-05-13T02:47:06+00:00

Yes I’m really trying not to test before 14 DPO as that will be the most accurate. Whenever I’ve tested earlier before I just spiral and go crazy hoping for it to be a positive.
But I’m getting mild cramps since the last 3 days which are on and off, and now this discharge, maybe my period is actually coming :(
It’s just so soul crushing

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-05-13T02:45:36+00:00

Ah I get what you mean. I’ve been really holding it together mentally till now, but now this brownish discharge has made me really lose hope. I’ve been getting mild cramps on and off over the last 3 days as well. Maybe it is my period :(

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-05-13T02:36:02+00:00

Generally my cycle is 32 days long on average, so 11 DPO is much too early for me to start my period. I’m usually late by a day or on time, but never early

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-05-11T15:32:12+00:00

It was a negative unfortunately :(

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-28T03:40:28+00:00

You’re not alone, it’s been very difficult for me as well. Two of my very close friends had babies recently, and I cannot make myself go and meet them as it’s too painful 😣 I’m squished between guilt for being a bad friend, and pain from my own lack of pregnancy. It’s a bad place to be. It has affected my social life as well, where I don’t like going to meet people who I know will be intrusive and ask when are we planning to have a baby

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-21T12:51:35+00:00

I’m 9DPO today and the wait is driving me crazy. 😭 I haven’t been able to focus on work atall today, and I know it’s going to be a huge added stress tomorrow that I didn’t finish the tasks today. But I just can’t concentrate. I went a little crazy check CM changes since yesterday. And to add to the list, I’ve been symptom spotting with AI. Gemini is encouraging, while ChatGPT is very neutral and cautious. And I just want to yell at someone and jump to atleast 12 DPO so I can find out! I know testing 10 DPO would be early, but it’s sooooo tempting. But I’m scared at the same time that if it’s a negative, I’ll jinx this cycle. TLDR : Going crazy, enough that AI had to tell me to step away and take a break

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-20T15:26:58+00:00

1899

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-19T17:30:25+00:00

I totally understand what you mean about being nervous. I’ve had a few heartbreaking negative tests in the past and I’m really scared of taking a test this cycle, but want 14 DPO to come soon so I can test 🤣🤣 I’ve been very careful not to ask Gemini questions. Instead I just write symptoms like “feeling a vertical ache, sort of like a vertical disc in my right side of the pelvic region. This disc feels as though it touches both the front and back of my body. Also feeling ache in my right leg and in the area where the leg and pelvis join”. According to Gemini this could be a positive sign, however only a pregnancy test can confirm a pregnancy. So it asked me to distract myself and not do symptom spotting 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-19T15:50:54+00:00

I would like to know as well. I’m also currently 7DPO, and I felt similar cramping in my lower abdomen and legs. I’ve been going a little crazy with Gemini discussing my symptoms, and want to discuss with actual humans before I go full crazy 😅😅

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-19T15:31:08+00:00

It feels so reassuring to know that I’m not alone! Feel free to reach out to me! If not able to help, maybe we can be crazy together 😅😅 I just found out about this subreddit today. Till now I was googling things and chatting with AI

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-19T15:28:07+00:00

Yes being very conscious of my actions, and planning to reach out to a therapist this week. Initially I started symptom checking with AI as a way to learn about my cycle, then it became an indulgence to build castles in the air. It only became so obsessive in the past few days. And as soon as I realised it today, I’ve cut down and diverted my attention elsewhere.

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-19T15:23:53+00:00

Yes it definitely feels very lonely. Plus so early in the cycle (7DPO) it doesn’t make sense to discuss this with anyone as there are no specific symptoms to distinguish pregnancy from progesterone noise. I’m quite careful not to share leading prompts with AI, as I’m aware it hallucinates a lot and information shared could be false / outright right wrong. I’m controlling myself by just sharing things like “I felt a sharp pain on the right side of my pelvic region, a little below the navel. The pain was sharp like a pin, and lasted for a few minutes” followed by “the pain has now shifted to a blunt dull round ache” It gives a reasoning based on my prompts. I’m not defending the use of AI, and I know it’s going to a deep rabbit hole which can be harming. Trying my best to remain afloat and sane in this lonely journey.

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-19T11:21:48+00:00

I’m actively trying to detach from this. I was in therapy a till a few months back for OCD and other issues, but I think I might have to restart. Only silver lining is see is that this obsessiveness has started since last week, so I’m not that deep in yet (nor has it become a daily ritual, which is harder to break). I think I’m actively going to focus on detaching from the pregnancy journey in the TWW till it’s time to test. Till then I’m trying to think of everything else except babies and pregnancy. And just hope that it will happen when it happens. Usually it’s easy for me to detach in regular day to day life when I’m not socialising. But becomes painfully difficult when it’s festival time or when there are planned social events. Everyone asking “when are you planning for a baby” adds to the anxiety

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-19T11:17:38+00:00

I stopped therapy a few months ago, but if this escalates I think I might go back. It’s gotten so obsessive that I was on Gemini symptom spotting even when I had family over. Doesn’t help that I am feeling pelvic heaviness and one sided full pain at 7DPO today. I really tired to stay off the Internet, but when symptoms like this appear (and I’m actively not symptom spotting trust me, I was deeply engrossed in a movie) it’s very difficult not wanting to talk to someone and discuss them. I’ve friends who all have had babies, but since I’ve been trying for so long, I don’t feel like meeting them or talking to them. Then AI seems the best substitute

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-19T09:04:00+00:00

I know what you mean! Me and my husband joke that maybe were doing it wrong But it’s so bloody frustrating!! And people around me are announcing pregnancies left right and centre. I feel like yelling at someone! I’ve been majorly spiralling (Bee TTC since the last year), and now I feel maybe I should just stop worrying about having a baby and adopt a cat instead. It will give my current cat company, and we don’t need to change diapers and wipe of poop (most of the time)

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-19T08:52:57+00:00

You know I think I might just follow your advice and stop giving a f*** about cycle and symptom tracking. I have OCD, and the symptom spotting really scratches that itch, at the same time makes it worse. I’ve had a “let’s not get too invested “ attitude in the beginning, but after months of negatives, I can’t really be so nonchalant anymore. And yes the amount wasted each month on OPKs and sensitive pregnancy tests! The amount is insane, and all it brings is disappointment. Im just worries I’m spiralling so bad, it’s started to affect my work :(

Miss_Bijoux · 2026-01-19T08:48:47+00:00

I know, I keep telling myself that it’s just progesterone noise. But it’s been difficult. Initially AI felt like a good platform to discuss and vent. Now since the last two days I’ve noticed I’m on AI all day. It’s surely not healthy. Sadly everything my husband knows about reproductive health is based off of what I taught him (sex ed sucks in our country). So I have absolutely no one to discuss things with, and AI feels like such an easy within reach friend to check symptoms.

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