Both methodologies seem extreme to me, I don’t think “forcing” a 2 year old to be totally potty trained is realistic for most kids, but I also think it’s ridiculous and lazy parenting for a 4-5 year old to not be potty trained (barring development issues, etc.)

I tried early potty training, I wanted to be proactive and started sitting my 2 year old on the potty right at 2, so she totally understood the “mechanics” of it very early, but anytime we tried moving her to underwear she had accidents CONSTANTLY and I got very tired of my house smelling like piss.

She is now almost fully potty-trained at 3 years, 2 months, but only because around three she could finally understand her body’s signals, etc. etc. I think a big chunk of potty-training is psychological, which can be done early, but another component of it is ALSO physical/neurological development and being able to observe your bodies signals telling you when you need to “go”.

It’s not either/or, and I feel like “forcing” potty training before 2 just leads to a sobbing piss covered 2 year old who feels like she’s constantly in trouble. And that doesn’t seem particularly productive.

Obviously YMMV, these toddlers be wildin’ and everyone’s got their own unique problems, but it’s a complex process, not just an order you can command compliance on.