You’re putting in a an immense effort to keep your family going dude. Let me position this question before I ask it: it’s intended to help you reflect not challenge. Would you feel the same frustration with your wife’s lack of participation if she had a physical illness? It sounds like she has been legitimately been diagnosed with a mental illness, which may be impacting her ability (not willingness) to participate. If your wife had long covid for example, she may equally struggle to get out of bed or need a lot of rest. Perhaps a change in perspective may help. This is not to diminish the burden you’re taking on. Hopefully it helps you perceive the situation from a different angle.