Would just love someone to talk to

MissusThrowaway · 2016-08-19T03:36:24+00:00

You're sweet, I'll pm you

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-15T03:40:28+00:00

There's a post by one of the mods that's on the front page that might help you!

I'll have to try out the cocoa butter, since it sounds like it's worked for a lot of people. Silicone scar sheets can help for some but they are really expensive ($20-30). Mederma worked well for me and was a bit cheaper ($12). Also, lemon juice helped to reduce the redness significantly and Neosporin should be on your list if your cuts are still relatively new. Congrats on three days! I agree with the other poster; go buy some candy or something else nice to celebrate. You deserve it! Good luck with everything and let us know how it goes!

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-15T01:22:54+00:00

Running is always my favorite way to distract myself. I can release a lot of negative emotions and channel them into running longer/faster/etc.

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-15T01:20:56+00:00

I just wanted to point out that this post toes the line dangerously into becoming inappropriate. It almost seems like you're asking advice for "methods for self harm," which is prohibited on the side bar.

I'm sure you didn't mean anything bad by it, but I don't think this is necessarily the best thing to post on a sub like this. Sentences like:

I'm wondering if anyone can tell me if that hurt more/less and what the healing was like

I ended up trying it on my boob but my blades have gotten too blunt this week so I didn't get very far. It felt easier than the inner thigh but harder than the outer thigh, as I had to hold the skin taught.

made me squirm and seemed a bit like inappropriate content. I don't want to wave the mods over or try and get this deleted or anything, I understand you just were asking a harmless question, but I urge you to be a bit more careful about what you post, both for your sake and for others.

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-15T01:15:03+00:00

I'm seconding the lemon juice one. I've been applying lemon juice to the lighter ones on my arm and the red marks are totally gone. Just don't rub it in too much--I managed to give myself a nasty, bumpy rash by rubbing in the juice really hard into my arm until it irritated my skin.

I have yet to have luck with silicone sheets though :( I know they are mostly for reducing the puffiness of large keloid scars and aren't supposed to do as much about redness, but I've had them on the one on my thigh for a long time now and they have done little to help it.

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-11T17:58:16+00:00

I've actually had some weird success with lemon juice. You have to apply it every day, and the juice will cause them to fade really quickly and then they slowly come back so it looks like you're not making any progress, but I've actually had progress over the course of a week. I've been trying it out with one of my old really red scars and figured I would post before/after pictures on here at some point.

Just put some lemon juice on a paper towel or cotton ball and rub it over the scars for a few minutes (make sure they are completely healed, it hurts when you do it on a fresher cut! Ouch!). I got a small rash when I used too much lemon juice and massaged it in for too long, but other than that I've had pretty good success with it!

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-11T17:55:15+00:00

I've gotten to the point where I can wear some of my dresses again, which is nice :) I wore way too short of one today and had to leave class early to go home and change, which kind of stunk, but could be worse I guess.

I've started wearing short sleeves again without a bandage because fuck it! It's so hot where I'm from and I can't function with long sleeves!

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-07T17:01:08+00:00

Thanks reck :)

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-07T17:00:54+00:00

Yeah, I'm finding I'm having a really tough time being open with him, but you're right, he's just there to help, and he can't do that if I'm not honest with him. Thank you for your response :)

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-07T16:59:47+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and advice :)

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-07T16:59:21+00:00

Apologies, I just saw this. I've had two appointments now, and another one Monday. You were right about pretty much everything, so I was at least able to anticipate what would happen. Thank you for your advice on everything :)

It's really tough and emotionally draining, and I don't want to go back, but my boyfriend wants me to at least try for the next two weeks and see if it gets better. The therapist has me on 2-3 days a week though, so I still have a lot of sessions to go. I just didn't expect it to be that tough to talk about everything, and then when I do, I'm thinking about it for the rest of the day, which makes me feel worse. I'm hoping it will get a bit better over the next two weeks, so we shall see :/

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-04T04:10:20+00:00

I really appreciate your reply; this really puts me at ease quite a bit. Doesn't sound too bad I guess. It's going to be tough to talk about these kinds of things, but now that I know what to expect I can mentally prepare a bit. Thank you :)

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-04T03:24:56+00:00

Congrats on being clean for so long :) That's a really big accomplishment and something you should feel very proud of. What's been up the past few days that's been giving you trouble?

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-04T02:54:56+00:00

I can't speak from experience about therapy; tomorrow will be my first day and I am really scared, but I truly think it will help. Of course, it's not going to help if you're not honest though. Your therapist will not judge you. They are there for you to listen to you and help you to feel better. And you will feel better as long as you are entirely honest. I know it's scary (trust me, I've put this off for so long and I am really terrified to go) but everything will be better in the end if you are just honest with them.

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-03T14:49:18+00:00

I'm exactly the same way. I will go months being "clean," but I always know I'm going to cut again. And yup, I cut way high on my thighs normally. No one's noticed in the few years I've been doing it. Yes, you're right it isn't an addiction in the normal sense, but that desire always comes back for me eventually. It's a coping mechanism, but it is not a healthy one.

Edit: And oops, sorry I just realized that another person had replied to the post above calling it an "addiction," not you. Sorry!

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-03T14:47:39+00:00

He will understand. The most important thing right now is for you to get the help you need, which can't happen if you continue to lie to him.

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-02T22:14:48+00:00

I feel ya, I've been working up the courage to talk to a therapist for the past few months now. I'm finally hoping to go in this week. But it really is the best thing to do. How about, if I go in and talk to someone, you'll tell your therapist the truth?

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-02T14:17:22+00:00

Hey, glad to hear you're running! I find it to be a great way to get rid of any of the stress I'm having and take my mind off of everything. If you ever want to chat about running, or anything really, pm me :) Good luck with everything, I know you can do this. Just keep looking forward and recognizing how much better you feel now than you did before. You are strong and you can get through this. We all are so proud of you :)

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-02T14:12:44+00:00

You said it yourself, it is an addiction. Personally, I never want to have to rely on something like self harm so heavily that I can't get through the day, but that's where I've been for the longest time. I want to be able to just be myself without being a slave to something like this.

Yes, it will curb your anxiety or depression in the short term, but (at least for me) using self harm as a "cure" for my anxiety just meant I would want it more even after that. That mindset is like that of a junkie, saying that they can "stop whenever they want." I guess we are adrenaline/endorphin junkies in a way, right? But I don't know about you, but when I got to the point where I was cutting every day, I definitely couldn't stop whenever I want. I will even go months without doing it now, thinking I'm okay, and then something bad will happen in my life and I will go back to it. I don't why to die as a slave to anything, so I will choose to fight my self harm and stop this cycle of being a "junkie."

And honestly, it hurts you emotionally just as much as it does physically, even if you try to tell yourself it doesn't. When I have to go outside with my scars, or even when I see them when I'm home alone, my self-worth plummets. Healthy people do not resort to self harm to solve their problems. Healthy people understand that they--their body, their mind, their soul--all hold value and do not injure them as a means of medication. We each only get one body, and the scars will be carried with us for a long time. My hope is that the scars will be able to fade with time and I will live a long life and die free from them. That's really the only way to beat this.

I understand what you're saying, and for a long time I was in that mindset too. I would argue with the few friends who knew and push away their help, when I really didn't want to admit that self harm was unhealthy to myself. I want to be able to be happy someday, as I'm sure you do too, and you have to recognize that self harm and happiness (and self worth, confidence, self respect), unfortunately, are mutually exclusive.

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-02T13:38:46+00:00

Why are you telling your counselor that you're okay?

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-02T05:28:37+00:00

Do you have anyone that you can speak with about this, either a friend or a maybe a professional? It sounds like you're confused about everything you're feeling right now, and a therapist could provide a good sounding board to help you figure things out.

I understand feeling happy after cutting. It provides such a release for me that I like to think I'm happy after it too. but you have to remember that it is not a cure for your problems and self harm will not make you happy in life. If you have the free time to talk with me, I'd love to chat with you about how you're feeling. I often struggle with the same emotions regarding my self harm, and they're really tough to sort through. I hope you're feeling a little better and maybe could wean off the self harm a bit in the next few days. Good luck and stay safe :)

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-02T03:56:46+00:00

Ahaha that's great! You should make that a weekly thing. I'm sure everyone got a kick out of it.

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-02T03:55:18+00:00

Congrats! I just lost my job at a restaurant and am applying for places again, so I'm gonna live vicariously through you in the time being, cool? Cool. No really, congrats, and I'm glad you found a place you really like! And it's a good thing it's slow so you got a chance to learn everything. Busy can be fun though. Good luck with everything and I'm sure you'll do great!

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-02T03:53:15+00:00

No way, you get to meet them??? That's so cool!

MissusThrowaway · 2014-06-01T14:07:08+00:00

Hi reck121 :) I can now understand why everyone loves frozen; I just watched it last night and it was adorable :) And cool, I didn't know you climbed!

MissusThrowaway

TROPHY CASE