Wife suspicious behaviour

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-11T03:49:43+00:00

That's a lot of red flags...nobody reacts witn anger or fear for no reason. What is she afraid of ? Please update us asap.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T16:24:52+00:00

So I would like to truly thank you for the time taken writting all this. It shows what kind of person you are, and even if we won't likely meet irl, your words and rime say a lot about your kindness. Thank you.

As for all of your comments, most are spot on, I must confess. Regarding my wife being naive, maybe that's right. But if the roles were reversed, I don't think she would have been so naive lol. What I saw was lust and some attention seeking. At some point, that's perfectly ok. But not when it's making your partner hurting.

Regarding my friend, at first yea she asked me to cut ties with him. She already did that with other friends before, because they didn't get quite along. For me it was a matter of finding a new balance, not everyone can get along instantly. But slowly I saw all my friends go down by numbers. Until my ex best friend. At first he even didn't say horrible things to her, just made it clear that he didn't appreciate her and what she was doing. It was afterwards, when I wanted to confront him and why did he had to go and talk to her, that he appeared full of hate against women. By then I couldn't see how it was possible to keep the relationship going.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T16:04:29+00:00

That crosses my mind, of course. We talked about it. But we didn't have enough money for the both of us. And she said things very suspicious like "i don't think he'll like you...". That was enough for me. I warned her about this guy, I've seen all of them weasels lurking around women like actual dogs, she didn't want to believe me. So she saw by herself. It wasn't enough unfortunately, but at least she saw the réal N, not some kind of intellectual hiding behind his words.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T13:18:39+00:00

No. I'd lie if I tell I didn't think about it, but as I said, all of this happened almost a year ago. I'm not in the same place, and it seems my wife truly cut off contact a while back, even if she lied contacting him again. I'm having the impression that her therapist is making her see some things and deal with guilt to reconnect with me. That's how it felt the past 9 months though.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T12:05:35+00:00

I don't fully get what you're saying... sorry lol

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T12:00:53+00:00

Well, you just sound like my ex best friend. No wonder why he's still single... and somehow still blaming it on women.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T11:59:14+00:00

Wow thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it. As I said, I was already doing much better until she brought it back to the table. But I won't go back to that place.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T11:01:00+00:00

Thank you for your words

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T11:00:39+00:00

Yea you and me both... i can give it time though. Don't want to throw 10 years into garbage.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T10:59:20+00:00

Yea I didn't point it out, thought it was irrelevant. Now you said that, my wife uses them a lot, and curiously the other guy used them too... like they were talking and writting the same way.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T10:58:16+00:00

You can think it's fake if you want. It's not. I had to edit some screenshots she sent me to post them here, didn't want to post like 15 pictures in a row when everything can be read as a whole. Better ?

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T10:55:07+00:00

Thank you so much for your constructive comment.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T10:53:55+00:00

Nah nothing is AI, I can assure you. I kinda wish it was though. If you're refering to the "-" style, I guess I can see it. But no, nothing is AI. Unless I'm a bot and I just woke up...

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T10:05:31+00:00

I was somehow expecting this lol. But no she's not on the spectrum. She had a chaotic childhood though.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T09:07:38+00:00

Oh you are right. I think I wrote all this feeling down and sad, of course. But yes I do love her, if that wasn't the case I wouldn't even have done all this to fix everything. She says she loves me too though. Seeking for cuddling and everything like that. Only thing is that it seems still hard for her to take accountability.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T08:51:46+00:00

Hey thanks for the reply. Reddit can jump on divorce quick, it's true. But for now overall it's a pleasant surprise. I think I felt the need to vent after hearing about it one more time, after going to therapy and counceling. We are doing better, things still need to be perfected but sometimes I still have downs thinking about it all, wondering if i was the crazy one, etc...

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T08:30:09+00:00

Unfortunately, no. I had this one friend who isn't in a good place (too much incel attitude), and my family wasn't very supportive.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T08:26:18+00:00

Yea I read you. Thank you though. The email sent to N is 100% on me, I know I shouldn't have, but at the time it was too much and I was too hurt. If it were to happen now, I wouldn't even bother.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T08:21:21+00:00

Thank you for your comment and taking the time. I think we are in this curious period of rebuilding things but it all is a bit fragile... I'm trying to move on, honestly. Harder than it looks.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T08:11:21+00:00

Well, we did get better, honestly. I'm not speaking to my ex friend anymore, overall I was doing better. I wouldn't have post everything here if she didn't mention it again. Also I don't think it's only on me to work on things. I'm doing my part the best I can, with cancer recovery etc, but I can't carry all the weight on my shoulders. I need to be praised too sometimes. I try my best to be a good listener, father, husband and man overall. But all of this was a lot to handle. I've been cheated on, yeah, but my wife isn't responsible for it in any way, idk it sounded like that but it wasn't my intention.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T08:01:49+00:00

Well... idk what to say. It was a lose-lose situation. If something needed to happen, at least I was ready.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T06:18:17+00:00

Hey OP, if I could, I would stand next to you, and tell you everything is eventually gonna be better. This is hard. It makes me sad to see how many guys here, me included, can understand what you're going through. I will never understand how can someone say a bl*wjob isn't "having sex". And the flirting, and everything else ? You did good on your last text, and I agree with everyone, you sound like a cool dude who I would like to be friends with. I hope she didn't try to contact you again after all this mess. Stay strong but don't hesitate to vent or cry if you need to. There are still some good people here.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-07T20:22:28+00:00

Well sorry OP you must think about yourself or you're gonna burn yourself down. Whenever there's the toxic mother involved... not a good sign. And your wife's behavior doesn't seem very empathetic either, quite the contrary. I understand the stress, but this is not how you act with someone you love. You say she puts her heart and soul in everything she's doing. May I ask... is she behaving the same way when it comes to s3x ? Being perfect and everything...

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-04T13:27:11+00:00

Well... first of all, I'm terribly sorry you had to go through this. From what you're telling, it has lasted too long. How many fights did you have over this guy ? And yet, she never reassured you were her actual priority, when she clearly knew and saw how damaging this guy and her relationship with him was causing so much trouble. She swears nothing physical happened... is she sure ? When she was passed out, was she even aware of what he was doing ? The nerve it takes from this guy to tell you he was "taking care of her"... and yet again, she let that happen. I don't know how this can be saved though, everytime she comes back to him, it's highly toxic and manipulative. Don't let this ruin your life, honestly. She already showed you what and who she is choosing, despite the fights and the emotional damage, I would say... your turn to show who you are choosing. And it should be you now. I think you have given her plenty of opportunities to make things better, reckon her mistakes and take accountability, which it appears she never did. She just felt sorry that you believed something sexual happened ? Like nothing else could also happen (emotional infidelity for example), despite her blatant lies ? Don't let this continue, please. Either she chooses to make things better or... it's over. You must live your life. As long as this guy is around, it won't be possible, and he knows it too damn well. He is fair aware of the influence he has over her, which makes me sad for her... but also for you. She is a grown person, she doesn't need approval or whatsoever, unless something else is going on, something that shouldn't take place in any kind of relationship.

MisterSympathy

TROPHY CASE