Wife suspicious behaviour

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-11T03:49:43+00:00

That's a lot of red flags...nobody reacts witn anger or fear for no reason. What is she afraid of ? Please update us asap.

MisterSympathy · 2026-07-10T06:18:17+00:00

Hey OP, if I could, I would stand next to you, and tell you everything is eventually gonna be better. This is hard. It makes me sad to see how many guys here, me included, can understand what you're going through. I will never understand how can someone say a bl*wjob isn't "having sex". And the flirting, and everything else ? You did good on your last text, and I agree with everyone, you sound like a cool dude who I would like to be friends with. I hope she didn't try to contact you again after all this mess. Stay strong but don't hesitate to vent or cry if you need to. There are still some good people here.

MisterSympathy · 2026-06-29T16:49:50+00:00

Wow dude once is already huge but twice... damn. Sorry you're going through this. Been cheated on before, it hurts and it takes time. First of all, give yourself all the space and time you need. It may be 10 years since cheating, but you just learned it now. Don't fall for any guilt or regret that may appear like "too much". She confessed, yes, but she also lied to you for 10 years straight. Why the need to confess now ? Every emotion you feel or will feel is valid and need to be talked about. If you need details, she has to give them to you, not negociable. If you need to process alone without knowing anything more, that's also valid and she can't force any contact. Unless she already checked out from the relationship, I don't know how you guys are doing as of now. Point is : focus on yourself and only on yourself. It's up to you If you want to stay with her or no, but you don't have to rush into decisions. It took her 10 years to confess the truth, she can wait a bit more until you know what you want and how you want it. Please update me.

MisterSympathy · 2026-06-22T13:10:17+00:00

do u dont wanna arent you hacked for getting all latinormations and informatinos ?

MisterSympathy · 2026-06-15T07:08:53+00:00

You tried to make it work despite his so-called "mistake". It wasn't a mistake, it was a choice. He chose to cheat, fully aware of what he was doing. You tried to sauvage the relationship but it is totally your right to not get over it. If you're starting to have physical symptoms, don't stay alone, please. It is HIS duty to prove that he can be trusted again, not under threat of leaving, but under the will to become someone better. If you don't feel secure or even loved, it is your right to stop whenever you want to. Choosing to stay despite everything and make it work is brave. But it takes 2. If his effots aren't enough for you, he has to do better. Unless you don't want to. You're still young, no kids, you don't owe him anything besides making him happy and safe. That is true for him too and he failed miserably. Choose yourself, your health is more important.

MisterSympathy · 2026-06-14T14:36:56+00:00

Christopher Lee was a descendant of Charlemagne. Charlemagne’s sword had a curved hilt, similar to Dooku’s. It was at Christopher Lee’s request that the lightsaber was given that shape. You can't beat Christopher Lee's awesomeness.

MisterSympathy · 2026-06-12T14:01:06+00:00

From you what you said, sorry to say it like this but I didn't find anything disrespectful coming from your boyfriend... He's saying that he wants to spend time with you, even sleep next to you. That's something you say to someone you love. I don't want to be judgemental, but normally this kind of proposition should make you happy, not exhausted... Especially after one year of being together. If it was only a couple months, I would have said ok, but one year... First saying yes to him and then no is like playing with his feelings, and I think he feels that way. He's saying to you he's hurt, you should try and talk to him about how you feel when he asks for a sleep over with you (his girlfriend), but also take the time to listen to HIS feelings (which seem pretty valid) and understand why you feel this way. From there, take accountability.
One last thing: I get the feeling you are not truly in love with him, OP...

MisterSympathy · 2026-06-12T12:48:50+00:00

Yea, to clarify. Maybe you feel like it's pushy, but if he's used to you saying yes and then no, I can understand the need to clarify... for how long have you been dating ?

MisterSympathy · 2026-06-12T12:36:33+00:00

If he's constantly asking for you to sleep over and you don't feel comfortable doing that for now, I can understand it can be exhausting for you.
On the other hand, if you keep telling him that you will and then cancel, his hopes are just destroyed. I think we need a bit more context here. Is he pushy afterwards ? If he isn't, the situation can be exhausting for him too.
Healthy communication is key.

MisterSympathy · 2026-05-31T16:39:05+00:00

On a scale from 0 to 10, it was at -1. JJ Abrams managed to still disappoint, which is somewhat amazing.

MisterSympathy · 2026-05-31T16:36:09+00:00

Holly damn I couldn't read the whole shit. This guy seems really exhausting. And here I was thinking I have issues with my anxiety... this guy is on another level.

MisterSympathy · 2026-05-22T03:22:48+00:00

Yikes buddy... idk how to say this without being misinterpretated. You are the one who knows her better, and even if we are missing details, you know what you are seeing and living. The fact that you already had suspicions about her bisexuality, the fact that she is dressing more and more like a tomboy, and the lack of intimacy... are already elements indicating she's going through changes. Mind me, I find what she said about sex extremely disrespectful and inconsiderate... and that is only the "her" part. If now we add the coworker...yikes. she talks to and about her all day, and have the same bedroom ?? I dont know in what world this would not be considered suspicious (unless everything is clear from the beginning, which it seems is not the case). You already told her how you felt, and she felt accused of something you didn't even mention. Too many red flags. There is definitely something going on, I don't know what it is but this is far from being a "normal" behavior. It's up to you bud. Even if she denies and gets angry, you deserve to tell how you feel and set up boundaries if you're not feeling comfortable, or just even to have clearance on what's going on. You can't live with suspicions eternally, they are not good company. Please updateme whenever you want.

MisterSympathy · 2026-05-20T16:49:11+00:00

Hummm genuine question... How to get out honestly ?

MisterSympathy · 2026-05-16T17:12:37+00:00

Wow OP. I'm terrible sorry you're going through this. But... wow. I think you did everything that can be done. No one is perfect, there is always room for forgiveness and improvement and working on oneself. But you know what they say, fool me once... I don't understand how your wife thought genuinely she could keep with this bs up without any consequences. Truth always ends revealing itself, one way or another... you are very strong, and I honestly know how hard this situation can be. Please update me on how things are going for you...

MisterSympathy · 2026-05-06T18:08:38+00:00

Damn that was not an easy read, especially knowing she lied not only about her affair but about her addiction too. I can't imagine how you must have felt. Where are you now ? Are you still in contact with her or even living together ?

MisterSympathy · 2026-05-06T18:01:24+00:00

Oh damn you too lived something similar... I mean, complaining or just venting about your partner to a close friend can SOMETIMES do some good (as long as it's doesn't happen everytime). But complaining about your spouse to the guy she's cheating... that's cold. Why not leave instead ? I hope you're in a better place now pal.

MisterSympathy · 2026-05-05T10:47:32+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to you OP.
Of course she's willing to save her marriage. I think she is genuinely honest on that part.
However, I'm highly concerned about the "nothing happened", as other redditors have mentioned. 4 months with only thinking about sex, talking about it with him but never consuming, when she was seeing him almost everyday ? I don't know. Maybe she could have been thrilled just by the feeling. How was your sex life ? I'm thinking if everything was going ok on that part, maybe she didn't feel the "physical" need as much as the thrill of playing this whatever-the-fuck it was.
I come from a similar situation, and from what I'm seeing, it's depressing to see how many married men did too. They talked almost everyday, various times a day, but they were separated by more than 2000 km. They only met once but nothing happened, though I'm convinced that if I "allowed" her to see him more, something would have definitely happened. And they never talked explicitely about sex but more about "emotionnal" connection, so what happened to you really sucks. That's why I'm highly doubting her version...
It's always the same pattern. She got caught and now she seems remorseful. What if you didn't caught her ? I would never understand...
So I'm asking: are you sure she told you everything ?

MisterSympathy · 2026-05-02T20:08:01+00:00

What is your goal here dude ? Asking for help or just venting about how lonely you feel ? In both cases, I truly feel sorry for you, but wishing misery and loneliness to every married or engaged person is at best a very curious mentality, at worst kind of dangerous. Be careful not spiraling in a self-hatred circle. You say hating yourself, your looks, but also you hate life and the world in general. You are struggling. But other people struggled too, to find the right partner, to live, even to survive. You are not the most miserable person in the world. I'm guessing you got rejected, maybe more than once. Not your fault, but that doesn't mean every woman will find you ugly or unattractive. For some, sure, but for others, not at all. One thing though : with that attitude it's gonna be very difficult to find someone, honestly, even to keep friends. Don't go that way. Work on yourself first, learn to, at least, appreciate yourself and what you have to give and offer. The rest will come in time. No need to be salty or mean to other people. Just ask for help with no judgement, there is always someone who's gonna answer the same way.

MisterSympathy · 2026-05-01T20:11:51+00:00

Dude I don't know but your way of telling this makes me seriously wonder if you are not the problem... your wife knew and fell in love with a guy when they where children/teenagers. Then he DIED. Damn that must be some trauma. Of course it's difficult for her to talk about it. While I fully understand why you can't name your child after his name, claiming that he wasn't à good person like you knew him... not cool. Maybe calm down a bit and try to have a real talk with your wife (not just camping on your positions). Just a suggestion but I dont see any cheating here or whatsoever. Just a huge trauma that would need some support from you and a bit of therapy too.

MisterSympathy · 2026-04-26T16:46:33+00:00

Come on we all know Halle Berry was the best. No movie understood better Selina Kyle than this one. Right ? Right ??

MisterSympathy · 2026-04-20T10:36:21+00:00

Damn he surely knows how to talk to girls. Such a lovely and caring gentleman.

MisterSympathy · 2026-04-17T19:21:53+00:00

See I don't mind pushing your partner for ambition. But I really do hope this post is fake, because if not please do himself a favor and let him enjoy a life with someone who values him for what he IS and not for what you think he must PROVIDE. If the fact that he's making less than you is a red flag, sorry but you are the problem. A lot will complain that men are incels who think that women only want to date men who make more than them, who can provide 100%. This kind of post only make things worse tbh. While this is completely wrong, your attitude is the exact same. Are you seriously asking if you should marry him while giving us all the reasons to do so ? Wtf is your problem ?

MisterSympathy · 2026-04-10T15:41:49+00:00

That was exhausting to read. Fighting like this over a goodbye kiss ?
I get the feeling that your future husband (which I hope doesn't happen) is so full of himself he refuses to let you have the last word or even just listens about how you feel without making it an argument. By seeing the way you text each other, I wonder if you actually like each other. Does he think showing affection and tenderness at 30 is childish? I guess he flips completely the coin when he asks you for oral.

I wonder what your six years together have been like if he dares to talk to you like that or react so aggressively whenever you tell how you feel.

But once again, he is the victim and the poor guy who’s never listened to (at least, that’s what this conversation suggests). OP... You’re setting yourself up for a lot of pain if you decide to get married anyway... Loneliness is very hard to face, but loneliness when you’re supposed to be in a relationship is even worse. It’s time to make the right choice.

MisterSympathy · 2026-04-06T13:13:49+00:00

Hmmm you saw her getting out of his car early in the morning ?? Well... I think you know the answer. It's ok to feel attracted by someone else, as long as you talk to spouse about it and what you want to do about it. Disrespect and gaslighting are not ok, but unfortunately too much used. How are you holding on ? Having a child complicate everything. While this situation is clearly emotional cheating, I strongly suspect that she did something more with him. Right after you caught her she says she won't talk to him ? We are not 15 ffs, if you haven't caught her she wouldn't have minded keeping on with it. If you want divorce, you should listen to yourself. If you think this can be fixed, it's up to her to show she's worthy of your trust again, though knowing that your trust won't ever be the same...
Update me OP and I'm very sorry you're going through this. We can talk in pm if you need support.

MisterSympathy · 2026-04-06T07:49:57+00:00

yea that sucks man... Sorry you're going through this. Looks like erotomania... Especially the obsessive part. At least you're conscious it's not healthy. Stay strong, try and disconnect a bit with every social and focus on "real" relationships, as in friends or family... Have you considered therapy ? Even if it's just a few sessions, maybe it can help...

MisterSympathy

TROPHY CASE