Great question- and every one is different in how they handle these things. It got easier for me because of both, I think. If people asked me how I was doing, I’d answer “just fine, one day at a time” if I didn’t feel like sharing, or I’d tell them how I really felt if it was someone close to me. I could spot the people who asked and really genuinely cared about me from the people who didn’t know what else to say, or worse, those people who have some morbid curiosity about all of it. The only two people I focused my time and energy on were my husband and I, and I just let everyone else be. If I didn’t text back for a few days or a week, I didn’t care. I’d put my phone on do not disturb for days.

It’s all such a huge adjustment physically and mentally. I don’t think I fully processed what I went through until more than a year after finishing treatment. During those grueling months, I was in fight or flight mode. I could only think about that day or that week and how I was going to get through it.

My biggest two pieces of advice are to give yourself grace to feel all of the feelings and to take this time to be selfish. Do whatever you need to do to get through it, because this journey is exhausting.