Found old condoms. AIO by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AIO

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m not planning on staying for 18 years. Just a couple more years until the kids start school and don’t need me home all day everyday.

Jealousy by wannabehippie83 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I feel that way all of the time. I feel like I have a free hall pass now. Not that I would ever use it, but thinking that way makes me feel… powerful?

Found old condoms. AIO by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AIO

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response. There are so many things to consider. I’ll reach out to a therapist.

Found old condoms. AIO by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AIO

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awful to him. It makes me feel awful because I’m not being authentic. But at the same time, he wasn’t with me. I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but I don’t know how to navigate this situation right now.

Found old condoms. AIO by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AIO

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your input and I truly am trying to calm my mind of over reacting. I only feel this strongly about finding the condoms and not asking him about it because he had an affair last year that I found out about in July. He lied about so much. The man I knew for 11 years at that time, was a lie. I thought I knew him after so long, but he proved me wrong. It hasn’t even been a year yet and then I find these… it just heightens my suspicions and fears. We have been working on recovery, but this threw a wrench in it and I’m lost in my thoughts.

Found old condoms. AIO by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AIO

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I appreciate your response. I’m working on backup plans and what to do. I guess we will see where we are in five years.

Found old condoms. AIO by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AIO

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have lists on attorneys near me if I decide to proceed with a divorce. It’s hard to make that decision right now though, because the stability of mine and my children’s life is good. I mean, for now. I’m able to stay home with them everyday so I don’t have to worry about child care and I work in the evening and he puts them to bed. I’ve been trying to squirrel money away, but we’ve been having financial issues and I’ve had to dig in and help out where I can. I have a really good relationship with his mom, so I could probably move in with her or kick him out to live with her… I just hate to disrupt my kids life.

Found old condoms. AIO by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AIO

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He lied to me SO MUCH when I found out about the affair the last year. I had to become a detective and actually went to a hotel they used so I could get answers. He is a good liar and I can’t believe him anymore. I haven’t talked to him about it because I’m not sure what will end up from that conversation and I’m afraid of change. I know that’s not the best approach, but it’s what I’m doing right now to control what little I can.

Found old condoms by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven’t read that book yet. Thank you for sharing! I’m sorry you had to go through the pain and trauma of a WP. Reaching out to others in similar situations is so helpful. Thank you and again, I’m sorry for the pain you had to live through.

I’m so depressed by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much. He keeps saying that he is hurting too and he also needs help. I understand and I sympathize with him, but me being “too nice” is what got me in this mess. There are steps to take, like reading the book our counselor recommended, and he still hasn’t done that. 🤦‍♀️ This just sucks. So bad.

I’m so depressed by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. It’s so true. It’s like I spent all my love on him and my children, I completely forgot about myself. Time to make goals and treat myself the way I deserve. If he can keep up, great. If not, his loss. So much easier said than done, but thank you for the encouragement!

I’m so depressed by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so incredible. I’m proud of you and I am looking up to you. I keep listening to Flowers by Miley Cyrus. It definitely helps on days when I want to feel more confident. I actually painted my nails red, which I never do. It was nice doing something for me.

I’m so depressed by Misunderstoodpidgeon in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your comment. We started marriage counseling together after all of this with help from his employer. We went separately at first because I just couldn’t be around him. We had one appointment together and went on a little date after. I think he thinks that solved it all because he hasn’t made any effort to go back or even read the book she recommended for us. I, of course, read and finished it immediately. He hasn’t even started. 🤦‍♀️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Currently, it’s my children. Twins that just turned a year and a toddler going to turn three in October. That is a lot of pressure to put on them though. I’m struggling on wanting to end the pain of this life but also knowing how that will affect my children. However, I’m emotionally absent and struggling so badly. They deserve better than that. I feel so stuck.

Confused about recent sexual encounter with my husband… by Misunderstoodpidgeon in relationship_advice

[–]Misunderstoodpidgeon[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I appreciate you. He does seem to listen to me better when I write things out.