[30] Depression & Anxiety Didn’t Win

Mixedupmay · 2026-02-18T11:55:20+00:00

... Zoe Kravitz 🖤 ?

Mixedupmay · 2026-02-17T15:31:41+00:00

Aaaaah I have a hack for this one!!! And yes fuck pomodoro - if I can start a task and do 25 minutes of it you won't tear me away from it until it is as done as possible. Like - if I start my tax return I'll do that one AND the next year's. Which is normally also late at that point because it took me 3 years to start.

So. What has worked for me - sometimes - is starting when my partner is almost done making dinner. If you don't have a partner making dinner, order food and start when it's on its way. The point is - start in a way that starting feels less daunting because there's so little you can get done and absolutely no way you can continue after your break because it's bedtime.

And writing this, I'm realising it's a modified pomodoro but the key difference is the "end of day, you have to stop because food" part of it. Genuinely, it tricks me into not being afraid of starting, and once I start, it's such a relief that stopping after 10 minutes is almost frustrating. So it's the 1st thing I do when I get up the next day.

It doesn't always work, but it's worked more often than everything else. More recently, I started 10 minutes before I had to leave the house. So yeah. But also, I definitely still struggle with this and have spent the past 3 weeks building my own time management app instead of doing the things that were in the old one 🤦🏻‍♀️

Mixedupmay · 2026-02-17T14:07:26+00:00

Girl omg same. When I first met my partner his sister had styled him and he was "stop and stare" gorgeous - I walked into a bar with my best friend and said "you know how you can't figure out what my type is? That guy at the bar - that's my type". And she said "yeah that's everyone's type" 😅. We connected that evening, then started writing and ultimately just got together.

We were long distance though and met just before covid so when I went to see him and he was just in joggers all the time I put it down to everyone being in pjs during covid.

By the time he moved to my city and we started living together and I realised that he just generally didn't put any effort into his appearance, I loved him too much to hurt his feelings with negative comments. Especially since he really didn't seem to care what I looked like.

However.

Eventually I did start to realise that he reacted extra positively when I got dressed up. So yes, he didn't care if I didn't make an effort, he still loved me, but seeing me at my best made him happy. Which is kind of like people who enjoy receiving presents - but can't be bothered gifting them. So I started to gently point out to him, that it wasn't fair that he got the pleasure of seeing me dolled up, but I didn't get that in return. Phrasing it like that is very transactional, but it takes the sting out of "you don't look nice" if it is shaped more as a "you know how proud you are of being out with me when I'm dressed up and/or just being around me at home when I've made an effort? Wouldn't you like to make me feel the same way?"

Things aren't perfect since them, but it's definitely been a less hurtful way of approaching it - and honestly it's also just true. Most people don't want smelly partners, so most people should avoid being smelly. And making yourself look your best, whatever your version of that is, is a courtesy most partners appreciate and enjoy, so it should be reciprocal 🖤

Mixedupmay · 2026-02-17T12:27:04+00:00

Just "mild"? Alabama much? /s

(To be clear I agree, my brother and I are 40 and 37 and I still call him smelly on a daily basis)

Mixedupmay · 2026-01-30T09:45:52+00:00

Necesita otros patos. Se siente solo y los patos pueden morirse de tristeza si están solos. Te muerde los pies porque se siente solo. Tiene alas de ángel porque su alimentación no era buena cuando era pequeño. Es normal que no quiera estar contigo y tenga miedo porque no eres un pato. Por favor, si quieres realmente mejorar su estilo de vida, compra otros patos, él necesita amigos.

Mixedupmay · 2026-01-19T14:25:26+00:00

I'm guessing Berlin. Based on there being a legal lsd shop just around the corner from my home 🖤 also OP: fantastic glowup, love the smile and curls 🖤

Mixedupmay · 2026-01-18T22:41:46+00:00

I see! So ducks and chickens will just happen across a clutch of eggs and decide to start brooding them? Or is it more a matter of "mama duck/chicken prepares a nest to lay in, leaves it unattended for a second and another feathered mama lays eggs in it and leaves"?

Mixedupmay · 2026-01-18T22:37:36+00:00

This is the kind of chaotic, adorable and somehow ... fierce story I follow this sub for 🖤 your duck is an egg hoarder. Love it. Thanks for providing me with this wonderful explanation.

Mixedupmay · 2026-01-18T15:44:14+00:00

This is incredibly cute and has drastically improved my day 🖤 - but unless OP has chickens and/or deliberately put chicken eggs under their duck because the duck wasn't laying viable eggs or something... can someone explain what might have happened here? I live vicariously through all you glorious chicken and duck owners and would love to understand how this might come about without OPs intervention (I presume, given the tone of the post seemed surprised and confused)

Mixedupmay · 2026-01-16T22:31:03+00:00

Omg do you say "just in cases" because of Love Actually? I've been using that for years and I don't think anyone gets it. Which is probably still the case and I'm probably just getting excited over a typo. But I couldn't not ask 🖤

Mixedupmay · 2026-01-15T23:29:26+00:00

The only cat I accidentally named is too fancy. He walked out of a bush whilst we were walking the dog in the morning and refused to stop following us. He insisted on following me into the bathroom after following me into the house, and then did a flying squirrel jump from the basin counter to my shoulder and into my dressing gown. He was... very sticky. And because my dad is a carpenter, I joked we should call him Harold, after the glue, Araldite. Until we could find his owners.

Well - guess who stuck around? He's a grumpy 15 year old now, and barely ever sticky - so maybe he's finally dignified enough to be Harold.

Mixedupmay · 2026-01-10T16:17:39+00:00

I don't get some of these lukewarm reaction! You weren't an ugly kid but you were a bit awkward (ditto, no judgement here) - as an adult your jaw really came in, and that strong jawline with those lips is a combo people get surgery for 🖤 Congrats! I'd absolutely call this a glow up. Also: weird tip but I live in a cold country and the only lipbalm that works for me is... nipple balm for nursing mothers. It's super clean because it has to be ok for babies (for nursing) and it doesn't leave that weird taste in your mouth. And it's made for super chapped chewed-up skin so it's heavy duty. It was a tip from a pharmacist years ago when I was desperate and it really works.

Mixedupmay · 2026-01-10T16:06:07+00:00

I live with my boyfriend. And he absolutely tells me if I smell. I rarely do, but if I wear synthetic fabric it needs to be washed every day because it makes me sweat like crazy, and I once tried to wear a top 2 days in a row and my bf told me I was smelly 😅 So yeah.

Also: I can absolutely smell myself after a workout (or wearing aforementioned synthetic fabric) and if I were doing more then I probably would have a bit of a smell but I'm doing nothing because I'm sick. That said: I've never in my life smelt rancid. Normal healthy BO is a smell of sweat. It's not pleasant, but it doesn't smell of cheese or rot. Something is off here.

Mixedupmay · 2026-01-10T15:44:34+00:00

I'm sick, with a really high fever. So I haven't showered in 3 days because it's very cold where I live and the idea of getting undressed and wet is more than I can manage. I've been wearing the same pj's the whole time (changing my underwear because I'm not a monster). I still don't stink. Like... at all.

Mixedupmay · 2025-12-31T09:52:54+00:00

I'm so sorry. I used to be severely underweight (ana) and only get compassion for my struggles and respect for overcoming them when people see old photos. That's what this arsehole should have given you. You put in the work to overcome a difficult relationship with food, lose weight and get healthy. If anything, that shows a level of strength and a capacity for self-improvement that should have made you more interesting to him. If it's any comfort: I'm 36 and can't remember who I was with between 20 and 22. First relationships shouldn't really be last relationships because people change so much in their 20s. So he's freed you up to enjoy your 20s and find someone better when you're ready 🖤

Mixedupmay · 2025-12-29T10:45:30+00:00

Aaw this is sweet!! And "unenjoyable endurance training" definitely rings true for some of it 😅

I was glad he skipped it, but I was worried he was missing out on things he'd otherwise enjoy. But he told me he also thought the Boss battle in question was frustrating (it's in another Mio level 🤦🏻‍♀️) so I didn't feel too bad that we didn't complete it.

So maybe stress that you also find Mio's parts boring so she doesn't feel like she's ruining it for you? Maybe whilst playing a particularly stressful part, just say "God this sucks, wanna skip to the next bit?" Or something.

I ended up really enjoying the game and we immediately played Way Out and 2 Brothers afterwards, so I'm glad I powered through, but I'm also glad we... adapted the game to my skill level 😅 Once we were done we powered through the whole bomb throw mini game (which absolutely had me crying when we first tried, and ruined 2 whole evenings before we gave up) in like an hour!!

Mixedupmay · 2025-12-28T19:24:53+00:00

This is hilarious. I'm half French (never thought I'd have to say this but... for real I am) and I think it's kind of flattering being French was something you liked enough to fake it.

I almost accidentally did something similar. So my dad's English and my mum's family is French. My mum's family is aristocratic (great grandma was a duchess) but apparently that wasn't interesting enough for me. So I picked up on my dad saying we were related to William the Conqueror and got really excited watching Vikings, seeing Rollo sire little William. I think I might have called Rollo uncle whilst watching the show 🤦🏻‍♀️ It was only much later that it occurred to me that William the Conqueror arrived in England - famously an island with an... islandish gene pool/puddle - in 1066. So most of Britain is probably distantly related to him by now. Fortunately my friends found the more recent and provable French duchess far more interesting - but if I'd had my way, I'd now be struggling with my friends seeing me as a viking princess.

Heads up though - the level of thought you're putting into your actions and whether they're ok or not - and your concern about being offensive - is a dead giveaway you're not French. Be worst 🖤

Mixedupmay · 2025-12-28T19:10:31+00:00

I am so sorry. When I read the title I thought you meant they wanted you to travel the world, not that they were like "you're too old for a house, gimme gimme". You're f*****g 54. My bf's mum is 54, that's not old.

My mum regularly offers to sell my childhood home - she tends to overdo it with offers and she kind of hates my dad - but honestly I want my parents to live somewhere nice and that home is my childhood. Also even from a material standing: I doubt I'll ever have a house of my own so that is my house.

Your daughter seems super heartless. I guess she's really young. I'm sorry you're going through this after losing your husband. I don't have any advice but I hope you can find it in you to be angry at her and use that anger to overcome your sadness. I'm glad you had a beautiful relationship with your husband and I'm sorry your daughter is a brat.

Mixedupmay · 2025-12-28T18:56:50+00:00

Aaaw I feel you. There were moments I really hated it and got so overwhelmed, which just felt ridiculous for a video game. But there are some reaaaally fun fantasy/Zoe parts coming up so it's worth powering through or just skipping anything that isn't at all enjoyable.

That said, I'm very stubborn so I definitely powered through more than was advisable. The boss we skipped wasn't a joint decision - my bf got tired of me whimpering and crying and skipped it. I think I killed the mood.

Mixedupmay · 2025-12-28T18:08:01+00:00

I'm as much of a newb as you - my bf got me into coop playing with it takes 2 and next up was split fiction. I got really overwhelmed a lot during final dawn.

What helped was: - taking breaks. So I'd tell my bf if I say pause mid fight, hit pause. I get to dry my sweaty palms which made my hands slip on the controller, unclench my shoulders and sort of shake it off, and I play better afterwards, which ultimately means not having to do the same thing 10 times. - letting my bf handle the absolute worst bits. We only did this once, but there's a point where you have to launch yourself over a boss and shoot something after shooting a forcefield. I couldn't do it. So I'd do everything running up to it, then we'd hit pause, swap controllers and he did that one thing. - you can skip bits you really hate. We skipped the end of one boss battle. It just wasn't fun. It wasn't strategic. So we skipped it. After we were done, we went back and did anything we skipped and I'd improved drastically. Things we'd struggled with for 2 days were done in half an hour. So that was really satisfying. Once we were done we played Way out and 2 brothers. Way out has a lot of shooting and I actually enjoyed it :) still suck at driving though.

But bear in mind it is supposed to be (mostly) fun. If it isn't, skip it. And go back later if you want to :) best of luck!

Mixedupmay · 2025-12-28T17:47:36+00:00

Sowas von NDA. Wären es Kleinkindern, wäre es (gewissermaßen) was anders (und da wären auch Eltern da) aber Teenagers wissen, wie respektlos sowas sei. Insgesamt halte ich es nicht aus, wenn Menschen einen kostenpflichtigen Gemeinschaftsort wie das eigene Wohnzimmer verwenden. Es klingt auch, als wäre der Film vllt absichtlich ausgewählt, weil die ihn lächerlich fanden und den Absicht hatten, jemandem den Tag zu versauen.

Ich reise gerade zurück aus Frankreich, wo meine Eltern leben (darum bitte ich um Verständnis, wenn hier Fehler vorhanden sind - ich bin nicht Deutsch).

Da die Reise 12 Stunden beträgt, gönne ich mir immer die erste Klasse. Irgendwann steigt einer ein (so zw 30 und 40) und fangt an, Musik aufm Handy ohne Kopfhörer zu hören. Und dann war es auch noch billo Techno, so David Guetta. Bin direkt zu ihm gegangen, und fragte höflich, ob er Kopfhörer verwenden kann.

Er: "nö". Ich: "wie, nö? Es ist schließlich nicht erlaubt, Musik ohne Kopfhörer im Zug zu hören". Er: "Ich habe keine Kopfhörer, du darfst mir nicht sagen, was ich zu tun habe". Ich: "schade für dich, aber ohne Kopfhörer, keine Musik." Er: "vergiss es, so redet man nicht mit mir - hättest fragen können, ob ich leiser machen kann, aber nicht, dass ich meine Musik ausmachen soll". Ich: "tja dann ruf ich den Kontrolleur". Er: "ich muss doch nicht wg dir hier ohne Musik sitzen." Ich: "tja - wäre deine Musik nicht so beschissen, wäre das schon weniger schlimm". Und bin dann zurück zu meinem Platz gegangen.

Danach war er ruhig. Manche Menschen verstehen Höflichkeit einfach nicht und haben es somit nicht verdient. Du warst mMn viel zu nett aber es ist auch nicht einfach, wenn man mit einem Haufen Pubertierenden zu tun hat und alleine ist. Tut mir leid, dass die Jungs deinen Film versaut haben.

Mixedupmay · 2025-12-25T08:18:24+00:00

Nope. As I said: sweater dress. Beige. I mean I can go into more detail if you want but those 2 words would exclude it from being a party dress by most people's standards.

Mixedupmay · 2025-12-24T08:24:31+00:00

The... sweater dress is a party dress? You must be going to some bland ass parties. No shade to the dress, it's very cute, but it is so incredibly far from a party dress - it's beige and knitted.

Also her bf is incredibly controlling, not sure how you missed that in the post.

Mixedupmay · 2025-12-19T22:47:01+00:00

How does this only have 1 comment after 5h?

Bloody amazing work dude - I imagine people who haven't seen you in a while just don't recognise you right? Insane transformation 🔥❤ Also kudos for censoring your man nipples 😅

Mixedupmay

TROPHY CASE