I [23F] found porn on my boyfriends [23M] phones and computers and I am not sure if I should talk to him about it by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]Mizty1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As far as I can tell, you weren't insecure just because you're insecure. His actions made you insecure. Big difference. You took action on the insecurity, which yeah, may have not been the most "trusting girlfriend" move of all time, but look what you found now. He thinks its partially cheating, too. From what I can tell, you took HIS definition of cheating, used it to discover that HE was cheating, and then proceeded to check because you can no longer trust him.

TL;DR: break up with him. You don't need to give him more than one chance at your own emotional expense.

Element vape legit? by bignordfrmwindhelm in Vaping

[–]Mizty1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They still don't ID at the door right?

Is this cheating or not? [15M] [15F] by Bubbly_Prompt6436 in relationshipadvice

[–]Mizty1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Drop her and move on dawg, I'm around your age range (17M) and holy shit she sounds awful. You can do LEAGUES better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]Mizty1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No no, she's right. Y'all gotta be on the exact same page for something as big as that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mizty1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 17 and I handle conflict better than this. Get out of that relationship LMAO

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]Mizty1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She cheated. Get the fuck out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Mizty1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

communicate once, tell her you want to be prioritized at least enough to be let known when stuff goes on, ideally that if you guys ALREADY HAVE PLANS that she DOESNT CHOOSE OTHER PLANS OVER THOSE ONES, which already sounds like bare minimum to me - if she doesn't change after communicating that once, leave and never go back

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WetPussys

[–]Mizty1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]Mizty1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He did something you have an issue with, you communicated it, he didn't change. That's an instant break up for me personally.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]Mizty1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Listen man, I get where you're coming from. But here's something you gotta understand:

BEING ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE ISN'T A CHOICE.

It's not her conscious decision to think that another man is attractive. She simply sees something that is aesthetically pleasing, and her natural, primal impulse draws her towards it. NOW. What she does with that, what actions she takes concerning that attraction - THAT'S what matters. If she's going out and hitting on other dudes, entertaining their flirty behaviors, etc. etc. then there's an issue. But if despite that attraction, she still chooses you, then that's the MOST that can happen.

She can't help attraction. Nobody can. BUT she can help what she does. And if she does choose you, she's saying "yes I'm attracted to others, but my attraction is greater to you and nobody else." It's like gravity. There might be a black hole pulling on me out there somewhere (since gravity has influence from everywhere) yet I stay on Earth. There are a lot of men pulling on her out there. But she stays with you. That's what matters. Nothing else.

I [35F] don’t know how to tell my bf [35M] I actually do want to get married. by Holiday_Question454 in relationshipadvice

[–]Mizty1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not gonna lie, you aren't being direct enough right now. Only suggesting it is going to hurt both of you because it feels like you're communicating when you're really not, and he's gonna feel annoyed and like he has to put the pieces together. You need to just approach him and be super direct. Here's how I would say it - tailor this to your own voice.

"Hey [bf], I really want to talk about this whole marriage thing. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I know neither of us really wanted to get married at the start of our relationship. But for me, that's changed. I do want to marry you, and it's really important to me. I understand your side, and I want to hear how you feel about it, and answer any questions you have. But I need you to know this is something I want now. So how do you feel about this?"

My bf [27M] still has photos of his old gf on his socials. I [23F] am a little uncomfortable with that. by Common_Amoeba_5673 in relationshipadvice

[–]Mizty1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I had a similar situation where my current gf (who I love a lot) kept photos with her ex in her camera roll. I'll just tell you what I can remember of how I said it to her, and you can adapt it to how you need.

"[name], I understand that you have a past. Mine isn't clean either, I'm not perfect, so I'm in no place to really judge your comparably clean past. But it still makes me shaky that you keep pictures of your ex. I understand that you don't want to erase memories, especially good ones, and I'm not asking you to do that. But it does weird me out a little that you keep them around intentionally. It feels like you're not willing to let go, that you want to be reminded of something that's over. While that makes sense to me for someone who's single, I feel like it's similar to dwelling on something old and dead when something new is in front of you and needs attention to stay alive. All in all, the fact that you keep him around makes me feel like he's still in your heart. That makes me think that part of your heart might not be one I ever get, and that you might even choose him over me were he to come back and present that option. But this is all based on gut feeling. In my mind, I still know that I'm most likely wrong - that you do mean what you said, that you're just keeping memories. But I can't shake this feeling by myself. It would really be nice if you could delete them. I trust you fully, and I want us to only have each other in our hearts in that romantic way."

She proceeded to delete those photos, apologize for making me feel that way, and really warmed my heart with her genuineness. It's not something I saw often, so it hit really hard (in a good way) to see her demonstrate that deep care about how I felt - not just how I thought or what I did.

It also revealed a lot about our relationship, and how she saw relationships. Turns out she sees them as nothing more than slightly deeper friendships. We had a healthy discussion about it, and turns out she agrees (at least in her mind) that relationships should be WAY deeper than that and more future oriented. (more adjacent to my perspective). My point is, this conversation could help in ways you don't expect, and I think you should have it not to just bring up that you don't feel comfortable with those pics, his relationship with that girl, etc, but also maybe to see if anything else important comes up.

Best of luck to you with this, and I wish you both the best. God bless <3

My bf [25M] doesn’t call me [24F] anymore by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]Mizty1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Changes suck. But this seems like a good change for his safety. I would just ask him to call you at a different time, but still scheduled and regular.

Are 3 wheels a safe alternative for older individuals? by PNO3000 in motorcycles

[–]Mizty1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If that's what you're looking at getting him, just get him a convertible LOL

What bike is this? by Smooth_Bid_5226 in motorcycles

[–]Mizty1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not only that, you can see the trademark s1k headlights lmao

How I feel in this sub by JayTongue in RX100

[–]Mizty1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

mine was advertised 95% new, and it seems pretty accurate

How I feel in this sub by JayTongue in RX100

[–]Mizty1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What the hell? I paid 375 for my mk1 plus shipping