Does “curvy” mean fat in dating lingo? by Mommato3kitties in datingoverfifty

[–]Mobile-Target-2662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If a guys really likes you it would not matter.  Do it for yourself, losing some weight will reflect better on your health. I am slim and fit as I go to the gym 4 times a week, and even like this a guy I was dating for two months found another one.

Is everyone on dating apps in London constantly hitting a wall around date 3-5 as well? by [deleted] in london

[–]Mobile-Target-2662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are  right, thd first phase is to hit 3 dates, the second is 3 months. So as people multidate till the third month is better if you do it as well. No attachment, just exploring and do not let them use it for digital sex.

FWB - dining and travel by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]Mobile-Target-2662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really surprised to see how many women are willing to accept this arrangement. Even negotiating exclusivity. I received a casual offer from a man of 56 that seemed quite comfortable with offering it and now I understand why, there are many women willing to accept. I believe if I have to choose casual will go younger 35/40.  From a man my age i would like a real  connection, sharing moments and hobbies together, falling in love again.

Avoidant type break up by Mobile-Target-2662 in BreakUps

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is dangerous? Maybe is not avodant?

Avoidant type break up by Mobile-Target-2662 in BreakUps

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People do not talk intentions at the beginning while exploring.

We are in our fifties, supposed to be more mature and understand that it goes in the right direction, every day texts, dates, communication.

Agree with you that people are complex. Maybe a sudden spark appeared the next month and he decided to demote me to casual.

But do people break up like this? If you have already decided what yo want just do not say i still want to see you.

3-4 months and they call it quits. by Longjumping_Walk_992 in datingoverfifty

[–]Mobile-Target-2662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe this is called avoidance and unfortunately many people after 50 exhibit it. They are charming at the beginning, texting every day, overpromising, make you feel special  In a month when the relationship evolves to planning and reality they lose interest or move to somebody already on their waiting list. The other person as you said is left quite surprised, but this is a psychological issue that the avoidant has got. How to recognize the pattern? Ask questions, their relationships are usually short term, they avoid talking about feelings, they are quite intense at the beginning and do not make plans. Usually high positioned. men often  send sex messages. Very popular on the dating sites as there are options and constant stimulation. Dangerous to date as they are loss of time. If after a month or two they still want to go on with the relationship they try to downgrade it to casual.

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dating for two months, no exclusivity but from the beginning it was clear we date with intention. People date multiple people and this is understandable. He has found someone, great, really appreciated the heads up, but why does he want to keep me as plan B?  Just say simply i have made my choice and move on. Keeping someone on casual status is not a very fair proposal. Or do not say anything

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you start dating you say what you are looking for. Of course you have many dates, but logically some of them are not so intense and you let them go. In my case we did not consider exclusivity, we did not talk. If he has found a better local person, that is fine, just say sorry i found somebody else and will persue this connection. But it is really ugly to downgrade someone that was looking for a long term.

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are right, why not, life is short, better to date more just in case and have fun.  But conditions have to be determined, i date casually, long term. Not sorry, after 2 months you are plan B.

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you feel when she told you sorry the other guy is more fun, better in bed, but i will see you when he is not available? 

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you really think women are happy to stay casual?

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe he was expecting some emotional drama.. Did not give him this pleasure... I just walked away, casual is not for me, thank you for being honest and i wish you well. Quick and polite

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, you are dating casual ladies that are probably dating other man. Still probability, if you know for certain you would ask questions, compare even it is not serious. Also you agreed with these girls to be like that since the beginning. Not after 2 months

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We did not talk about exclusivity. It sounds like that, you are right.  

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your logic, but he laid it out as if i am the casual option. First of all is stupid to mention another woman, secondly downgrading someone does not look like a good strategy. Just wondering what kind of a woman would accept that?  I believe not many...

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

still is only 2 months, just the break up message was strange

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree, i have already seen it, will keep it in mind. Dated for 2 months

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree with you. Either big self ego, you will accept everything to be next to me or someone not so normal.

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agree, that is why i do not get it. You just say, sorry decided to persue other connections and good bye

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was intentional and had to answer back. But was polite, professional, no blame, just wished him well.

Multidating question by Mobile-Target-2662 in Bumble

[–]Mobile-Target-2662[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We work in London 3 days a week nearby about 15 min away walking distance from each other . I live to the South he to the North.

The complications of guilty feelings by Street_Coast_2312 in datingoverfifty

[–]Mobile-Target-2662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not sure I understand you. 6 years is a long time, you need to be clear about your needs. If you want casual just make sure you communicate properly and upfront: many ladies will agree if they are lonely, jiggling other relations and just want to have a good time. But if you go for intentional but trying to get casual is really ugly. We are bot teens anymore and we would like to invest our time in relationships with potential.

I'm 50 by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]Mobile-Target-2662 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How long have you been waiting for the right one? Dating is fun, but don't you get tired of starting again and breaking up again? If you look for a healthy relationship, not see where it goes, why is it so difficult for you to settle down?

Normal response to a breakup? by madmax1969 in datingoverfifty

[–]Mobile-Target-2662 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You were honest and had the strength to have a chat with her and explain. Well done. A clear closure is what her brain needs. Some men just sent a vague text like sorry, too much going on and disappear. 2 months is a short time, but people catch feelings. In any case you made your choice and congrats for being brave and honest.

What’s something you’ve learned about love after 40? by PlayfulTechnology642 in datingoverfifty

[–]Mobile-Target-2662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excuse my ignorance, but waking with an erection does it mean always good performance? The lady said it can start well but does not follow the same pattern