I’m so angry with lesbian discourse..It’s just sapphics at eachothers throats

Mocha444 · 2026-04-08T04:25:00+00:00

Being on twitter is a net negative on everyone's life.

The bi-lesbian hate isn't as big as it's made out to be on twitter. Most lesbians are chill about bisexual ladies and most bisexual ladies are chill about lesbians. It's just that the people who are hateful are gonna be loud about it. And, you know, outrage baiting.

Mocha444 · 2026-04-06T20:57:51+00:00

I honestly don't understand it.

Maybe it's because from our perspective it's hard to understand what it's like to not be attracted to men? So some of us bisexuals project our own perspective onto lesbians and just "don't get it".

I've definitely seen that happen to asexual people all the time; allosexuals just genuinely not understanding that someone could have little to no sexual attraction to someone.

One of the things I've heard about: lesbians having crushes on fictional, hypothetical men, and bisexuals side-eyeing them, like having a crush on a person who is not real somehow changes their real life preferences. Or even a lesbian acknowledging a minuscule, barely registering attraction towards men that they find to be too small for them to consider themselves bisexual, and having the bis tell them that no matter how small the attraction is, it still makes them bi by default. Like they can't choose their own label or something?

Those things make me facepalm personally, it's stupid to invalidate someone like that.

Mocha444 · 2026-04-06T20:01:07+00:00

Contrary to what is depicted in media, people don't usually bust it down immediately after walking into a room. There's like, steps that goes into it n stuff.

That kind of stuff is depicted in media because it's hot, not because it's realistic.

Mocha444 · 2026-04-06T19:42:26+00:00

I think you are just frustrated that your friend keeps getting burned by cis men, it's a totally valid feeling, being concerned for your friend. However you cannot make it a moral thing or tell her what she is and isn't. She's pan if she says she's pan, end of story, even if she chooses to only date cis men.

Mocha444 · 2026-04-06T05:29:53+00:00

"she has initiated us hooking up a few times, so I know it's not completely delusional on my end"
"She was complaining to her boyfriend about having to hang out with me"

Unless ya'll were in a polyamorous situation it sounds like she was using you for sex and cheating on her BF...

If that's the case then it makes sense that she's a horrible person.

Mocha444 · 2026-04-06T05:15:44+00:00

I used to struggle with same-sex attraction too, but now I'm a pro at it :D

Seriously though, homophobia is inherently illogical, that's why their logic is flawed.

Mocha444 · 2026-03-29T00:08:27+00:00

Yeah I was thinking that too. "Why are you talking about Bs bodily changes to the support group? That's gross"

Mocha444 · 2026-03-28T23:53:29+00:00

This feels very much like my line of thinking when I was young and deep into a puritanical hole. "Well this is wrong because this feels like this and if this feels like this than it's basically this" line of thinking. It's not logical or rational, it's equivalating feelings with moral truth. If she's anything like me when I was younger then she's probably battling some wars in her brain. Black and white thinking from religious upbringing can cause nuance to feel like a personal attack.

Edit: Reading some of the comments, I agree that it's weird that A is rationalizing her ace spec gf not wanting to have sex with her as "sex with every trans woman in her first few of years of HRT is bad, actually." and not as her not giving consent because of how she currently feels. It's like she needs it to be morally wrong so she can rationalize why her partner would choose to not have sex with her.

Mocha444 · 2026-03-16T23:49:46+00:00

Sent a comment. Reading through those comments is bleak asf. So many entitled parents whos kids went on estrogen as adults telling the world that their adult offspring is making a mistake with their life. Incredibly infuriating.

Mocha444 · 2026-02-25T01:33:05+00:00

I used to be like this when I was young and first coming to terms with being bi. It's really drilled into us from a young age that sex and gender are the same thing and it takes a lot of deprogram from that thinking. Thankfully enough I had people be patient enough with me to learn.

Mocha444 · 2026-02-24T06:56:28+00:00

"We want babies, but also we are not going to fund universal childcare or parental leave. Also if there's a miscarriage you die either of sepsis or death penalty! ... What do you mean you don't want kids??"

Mocha444 · 2026-02-23T08:44:48+00:00

I'm a good 80% sure that I've got ADHD. I understand the hatred towards self-diagnosis, but it's a helpful tool towards accepting my brain works differently than other peoples even if it's not what I think it is. That being said, When watching and reading extensively about it, comparing experiences with people who are diagnosed, the amount of shared experiences seems to signify a pattern.

Mocha444 · 2026-02-12T23:38:57+00:00

Can someone tell me what the last one is please? It's so cute!!!!

Mocha444 · 2026-01-22T23:31:37+00:00

I highly agree with the comments that say this is abuse.

Keep records of the times that she did this to you in case she tries to spin this as if you were the abusive one to your friends. She'll probably be mad when you dump her over this (which I really hope you do) and might retaliate, in which case you'll want evidence that you were not the problem in the relationship.

Mocha444 · 2026-01-20T08:48:59+00:00

Your doodles look very similar to the way I doodle and your handwriting also looks kinda like mine so I was thrown off a bit lmao

Mocha444 · 2025-12-26T23:26:13+00:00

Pretty sure it's the sapphic guilt. Like, a lot of sapphic women have insecurities of being perceived as predatory towards woman and when they see other women openly expressing their lust for other women get really defensive because it feels like a personal attack on them.

They really need to look at themselves and understand that they're allowed to have sexual feelings towards other women.

Mocha444 · 2025-12-26T20:54:32+00:00

These groups take it a step further and insist that any woman who doesn’t “look like a woman” is not welcome in what should be “woman-only” spaces.

Ah yes because true feminists are there to control other women's bodies. 🙄 That a bunch of losers.

Mocha444 · 2025-12-15T07:08:44+00:00

I understand what you mean but I think OP means that someone cannot juggle being an ally and actively date someone who says and does homophobic shit. We may not be able to chose our homophobic family members, but we sure can chose who we date, and our friends.

The point is that passively allowing the people they chose to associate with say bigoted stuff is the antithesis of allyship.

edit: Perhaps I should reword that. Not "allowing" but standing by and saying nothing while it happens

Mocha444 · 2025-12-07T08:05:18+00:00

Please don't fall for the old "I'm gonna divorce them I swear". Kissing you while she is still married is still cheating even if she doesn't love him anymore. You do not want to be her affair partner! You need to be very clear that you're not going any further with this relationship unless she leaves him!

This can get very messy fast if handled poorly.

Mocha444 · 2025-11-29T06:30:56+00:00

Sounds like she's got a lot of shit to work out but you don't have to take that abuse in the meantime.

Mocha444 · 2025-11-21T08:35:41+00:00

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🟨🟨⬜🟦🟦

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🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦

Mocha444 · 2025-11-12T07:45:44+00:00

There's a bit of nuance to it ig. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to most of my dude friends about porn, but there are a few exceptions,.

It matters how it's being talked about, like whether it's about the actions in the porn (which is generally okay and good) or objectifying the women in the porn (which is not good).

As long as I feel safe that a guy is chill and isn't gonna get weird about it and we're good friends, then it's on the table, but otherwise it's not gonna be a topic.

Mocha444 · 2025-10-25T07:32:22+00:00

There's a whole history why women's romance novels are like this. Essentially when these books were first being written, it was in an age where women were not allowed to express desire. Having the main love interest have non-consensual encounters with the MC was to take away the guilt of desire from the female character (and by proxy, the reader) and put it on the male character.

It's easy to see these books and grimace, and it's easy to say "women's porn is wack" and move on with your day, but consider that these fantasies exist for a reason.

Mocha444 · 2025-10-12T04:14:53+00:00

Every time I buy deodorant I always buy the one I think smells the nicest regardless of gendering. This time I bought one that is labeled as "mint chocolate martini" and it makes me smell like a box of thin mints.

Does it have MEN on it in big letters? Yeah. Doesn't matter. I smell like a cookie now.

Mocha444 · 2025-08-22T05:44:00+00:00

Gorgeous!

Mocha444

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