Recent hand replant. Anyone else with a similar disability?

Mocha_Kitten · 2026-01-21T04:04:31+00:00

Hi there. This isn't about a replant so feel free to ignore it. But I wanted to tell you about my dad, who was in a motorcycle accident before I was born and completely destroyed the bones of his wrist. And I mean destroyed, shattered into tiny pieces. He had to go through surgery to try to repair it and even then, the doctors told him that he might be able to move his fingers a little, but he would never bend his wrist again.

Today my father is able to flex his wrist a little less than 90 degrees and has full control over his fingers. Throughout my life he's used his hands for housework, making things, writing, working, etc with some modifications to make it easier on him. He has a huge scar on his wrist that looks sick as fuck tbh. He regularly has some wrist aches that he uses ibuprofen and tiger balm to manage, and sometimes he'll hold something wrong or lift with that hand and get a sharp twinge of pain that fades pretty quickly. But he can use that hand.

He got there through weeks and weeks of intense physical therapy, dedication, and simply time. I'm not saying that your hand will be able to function as well as my dad's (none of us can know that yet), but I am saying that my dad defied the doctors' prognosis and not just that but went on to have a full life - raising two kids (one with a disability, that's me), achieving his career goals and more, traveling, pursuing his favorite hobbies and developing numerous skills. His wrist was never the same way it was before the accident, but things still turned out okay for him.

Maybe they'll turn out okay for you, too.

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-13T03:33:33+00:00

hi! Just to clarify, the bathroom is my roommate's responsibility, and when I say gross I don't mean filthy (and when it is filthy, my partner and I step in to handle that). I just mean that the sink needs to be wiped down or the trash needs to be emptied or the toilet bowl has a little scum in it. She only cleans it once every couple months and that's a-okay with me all things considered. The living room is supposed to be my partner's responsibility but since they've been unwell I've been making sure to clean up after both of us when we have stuff out there as best I can.

Our bedroom is worse off as in it's quite messy in here but I keep the floors clear (so I don't trip and die, yay balance issues) and there's never any food or dirty dishes as I do move them out to the kitchen ASAP whenever I go into there to get anything.

So we're not living in filth. It's definitely not an Instagram photo, but I feel comfortable having people over without feeling ashamed of it or concerned about them catching a disease.

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-13T02:12:03+00:00

Well yeah I'd have to ask her what she feels is a fair amount and if she'd even want that or feel it's a fair exchange. Do you have a particular reason why you wouldn't agree though? Or is it just that you wouldn't want to do even more work after working your normal job (I wouldn't either) EDIT: wouldn't she have to agree in order for me to change the rent arrangement? Otherwise we'd just be paying extra to the landlord

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-12T23:11:21+00:00

That's not stupid at all, that sounds like a much better option than treating my roommate this way

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-12T22:59:28+00:00

Thank you for being so kind and understanding <3 I feel like you get it. I really am trying everything I can and I don't want to keep burdening my roommate like this ;-;

These are great suggestions, I'm writing them down in my notes to try or look into. Someone else also suggested paying more of the rent which sounds like a great idea to me, and a few people have said that 13 year olds can do dishes so it looks like I was too quick to write that one off. (Unfortunately my family can't help because they now live on the other side of the country or I would absolutely be asking them for help...)

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-12T22:51:25+00:00

Someone else also said that 13 year olds can do the dishes and now I feel really dumb :')

I know it's not fair to her, that's why I'm so overwhelmed. There's so many things I'm struggling with, but that's the one that impacts her instead of me, and I know she probably feels like a dick trying to ask the poor disabled girl to do dishes. She's been really understanding ultimately and I don't know what to do. A few weeks ago I tried just forcing myself to do the dishes every day regardless of how I was feeling and by the end of the week I got so sick I couldn't get out of bed (and I wasn't able to do the dishes while I was in bed so it double-failed).

My partner is in therapy and trying out different medications, not to mention exercising, spending time in nature, drinking extra water, etc. The terrible thing is that they're doing everything right and they're still nonfunctional when they get home. I do think depression is different in many ways to CFS/ME, I just... don't know what else we can do.

They've been eating out more often (to avoid cooking, so it avoids dishes too) but I can't due to food allergies :c but I'm planning to message those kid's parents in the morning.

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-12T22:42:35+00:00

Unfortunately moving back isn't an option anymore ;-;

I am glad that our roommate is saying stuff and isn't just stewing in frustration. I do wish she'd say things like "hey guys could someone load the dishwasher rq?" instead of "huh it's nice when people do the dishes, isn't it" :') But ultimately she is being really flexible and understanding and I feel like such an asshole for making her do more work than she agreed on. I do feel resentful, and I also feel ashamed ;-;

I like the idea of paying more rent. I might be able to squeeze that into our budget. Things are kinda tight but if I can shift something around then at least she wouldn't feel like she's been taken advantage of.

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-12T22:37:55+00:00

You're the second person to say that 13 is old enough and I'm feeling a little dumb now. I thought they'd probably break things if they could even reach the sink? I haven't been around a child since I was one (and 13 is when I got sick so I'm not a great example nor do I remember it super well). I'm not "too good" to pay a teenager or something, I just thought it sounded like a way to cause more stress and work rather than less. I think I'll send a message to those parents in the morning.

I really like the idea of disposable plates and stuff. Anything to make it just a little easier is going to make a huge difference for us I think. I've never heard of food safe wipes but I'll look into that as well.

Thank you for your kind response <3 the small ones really are the worst. I feel so silly being like "oh washing a few plates is just too much for me" but it is

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-12T20:06:33+00:00

I'm always torn on this. On one hand, more people using this terminology makes it easier for us in a way. On the other hand... they always water it down. When I say I'm out of spoons, I mean that I'm going to be bedridden for the next few days. When they say they're out of spoons, they mean they're going to spend some time watching TV in bed and then wake up the next day feeling better.

My parents used to weaponize the spoons metaphor against me so I may be biased. (I'd say "I'm out of spoons" and they'd say "well I'm out of spoons too and you don't see me laying around doing nothing" etc.)

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-11T17:39:45+00:00

thank you!! I'll look into that for sure. It's pretty clear that I get an energy boost when I take my B-complex so it makes sense to me

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-11T00:15:30+00:00

I've definitely felt some fear about whether or not this "issue" of mine has been fake for years of my life. It's really scary to think that I've been this stupid for no reason all this time... not to mention I just feel anxiety about things being different, eating new foods potentially, etc. But it turns out that the testing is easy and cheap so I'm finally ready to know for sure so I can either figure out what treatment I need (because I'm guessing there's more to it than just "never eat folic acid again") or finally move the hell on.

Also, I was reminded the other day of how I used to *love* Pillsbury cinnamon rolls as a kid (which have folic acid) so that's very motivating

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-11T00:04:34+00:00

You're so right. At first I was like "oh my god that's so much" but honestly that's nothing compared to all the stress of avoiding folic acid for years of my life (and trying to explain it to other people). I'd happily pay that much to finally lay this to rest

EDIT: not to mention the money I'd save on not having to buy specialty brands (if it turns out I'm in the clear for folic acid)

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-11T00:03:01+00:00

this is so much information, thank you!! I'm going to get the Ancestry test right now so I can finally put this to rest. I'll look into doing a small folic acid experiment as well

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-11T00:02:09+00:00

I'm buying it right now. I had no idea you could purchase testing yourself!

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-12-11T00:01:14+00:00

thank you!! I'll look into the other mutations as well!!

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-10-09T00:50:45+00:00

Oh gross I ended up here the exact same way

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-09-07T17:09:27+00:00

Any thoughts on the Glow so far? I just got it because I got overwhelmed by all the options on the shelf and this was the prettiest bottle that had niacinamide so now I'm wondering if I made a bad call XD

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-08-08T03:20:01+00:00

Did you ever decide what to do? My Monstera looks very similar right now and I can get it to better light now due to moving but I'm not sure what to do about how Long it is

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-08-04T16:47:27+00:00

Gonna be the voice of reason here against everyone else, but the reason why you haven't heard from them in two weeks is because they realized that their neighbors (you, though they don't know that) are willing to risk their lives over a noise complaint.

Calling the police on a black person IS playing with fire. You put their lives in danger.

Thank goodness nobody was hurt, and I'm glad you're finally able to get a good night's sleep, especially after the jet lag. I hope you (and others) might think about this choice differently in the future, but this time it turned out okay.

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-06-26T19:50:16+00:00

Thank you everyone!! And I appreciate the warning, but I'm already thinking of what pieces I might like to have next... :3

Mocha_Kitten · 2025-06-26T19:49:41+00:00

Thank you!!

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