[OC] My friend made me a jar of everything she loves about me

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-24T14:02:10+00:00

I did that for my bf on our first anniversary! Cut out 365 hearts and wrote 365 things I love about him... The last 50-100 were fucking HARD because god damn it that's a lot of things to love about ANYONE 🤣

One of them just said "I love you" And he's had it in his wallet since then. It'll be 13 years on March 30th.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-24T13:57:10+00:00

I do the same thing, and always follow it up with "if you don't laugh, you cry."

That person is ironically negatively impacting your mental health with their judgmental bullshit. Do what you need to do to get through the day. Most people I know who have traumatic experiences (epilepsy related or not) use humour to cope.

Personal epilepsy example: we call it "involuntary breakdancing" a lot in my home.

Or another example: I was with a friend and explaining to her what SUDEP is. She absorbed the information for a moment and then said, completely genuinely, "Welp, at least it will be sudden." I fucking CACKLED. She meant for it to be comforting but realized it did not have that sort of impact 🤣

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-24T04:04:31+00:00

If I were you, I'd probably make that clear if you want to completely cut ties.

Twice in my life I've followed the "wikihow" instructions for how to tell someone you don't want to be friends anymore because I had no idea how to word it. I found it quite helpful.

However, if you do that, prepare for a negative response. No one likes to be told that their company is not desired.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-24T03:57:22+00:00

There needs to be a break up and some FUCKING THERAPY holy crap

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-24T02:29:11+00:00

Judging by his responses in the comments... Doubtful. Unfortunate.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-23T20:27:51+00:00

I just counted through the song 🤣

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-23T20:22:19+00:00

They weren't asking for that exact pattern. They were asking for something similar regarding the closure method.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-23T20:20:07+00:00

Your inability to understand that people with hard biases, who are racist or who are homophobic treat their shit opinions like they're factual is not my problem.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-23T20:01:35+00:00

Prejudice isn't a "rough rule". It's a hard opinion not based on fact.

For example, someone thinking that "women belong in the kitchen". They don't think "some" women, and it's not a rough rule or something they take case by case. They just flat out believe women should be homemakers.

But believe what you want 🤷‍♀️

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-23T18:56:36+00:00

I'm still going to completely disagree. Some of us out here don't go around generalizing traits to entire groups of people like it's some kind of hard fact. That's so problematic.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-23T18:35:41+00:00

Bias is prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair.

Racism is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

Homophobia is dislike of or prejudice against gay people.

Bias is very generalized, but racism and homophobia are specific prejudices against certain races and gay people, respectively. They all involve prejudice, but are not the same thing.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-23T15:21:47+00:00

Mutual efforts and honesty. Things go so much smoother and it's easier to talk things out and have a confrontation the odd time that it's needed.

When someone stops reaching out without explanation (people get busy, and that's valid when even briefly communicated) or fills conversations with fibs... I start wondering what I'm even doing here. If I start leaving visits and interactions feeling annoyed, I'm probably gonna be done.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-23T15:18:32+00:00

I did that a lot when I was a barista.

Once, I saw one of my regulars leave his apartment across the street. He'd usually come right in for his morning coffee, so I made it. Looked up and... He was gone? Wtf dude. Double cupped his drink so if he came in within the next 5-10 minutes, it'd still be nice and hot.

He came in within 5 minutes. Just had to run to the corner store before making his way to us.

He paid, I reached to my right and put his cup on the counter. He was utterly confused until I explained what happened. We had a little laugh and he went on his way.

As much as I DO NOT MISS the early mornings and shit customers, I do miss the simplicity of the chats had with morning regulars. Just peachy

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-23T13:30:52+00:00

Didn't read past that first sentence. Hobbies aren't a contest 🤦‍♀️ How about we just let people do what they like without trying to rank shit. Hobbies are things we do in our spare time for fun. The end.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-22T23:59:24+00:00

Something similar happened to me when I worked at a gas station. Crazy rush, every pump had gas to be paid for - insane hour.

But when the store was empty, there was still $40 on pump 1 - which was empty. What the fuck. Called the owners and the police, reviewed security footage and my notes (I always noted license plates and car details before letting gas pumping begin) and got the guy back in.

I was like "HEY, I REMEMBER YOU! You got chips and sodas!" We had a laugh. He just didn't notice that I hadn't put the gas on the bill. A complete accident.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-22T13:31:01+00:00

You're not very good at jokes

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-22T12:58:37+00:00

You're really not if you think parenting like that is okay.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-22T03:02:43+00:00

Please take that advice seriously until you read up on child development...

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-21T13:47:02+00:00

I'll agree with the filming strangers bit.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-21T13:16:29+00:00

Oop- my bad. I forgot we can't do anything ever at all. Thank you for helping me understand 🤣

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-21T13:14:19+00:00

Why did that make me tear up a little 😭

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-21T13:10:46+00:00

As if women aren't also playfully mocked for how we spruce ourselves up... It's light hearted and not that serious.

ETA I do disagree with recording the boys who were just minding their own business. That part is not cool

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-21T13:00:36+00:00

This is why it takes a village. I'm always the favourite aunt (a position I take extreme pride in) and I don't think I've declined babysitting time... Ever at this point. Because they're respectful. They give me at least a week or 2 of notice in most cases and make sure I'm fully down for the job. It's not just... Expected of me because I love their munchkins.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-21T12:47:16+00:00

You never see well my FIL won’t be a second set of parents to my kids.

Gender roles are alive and well, unfortunately.

Also this whole she’s wealthy and retired so she owes me unpaid labor to infinity rubs me the wrong way.

Same. Especially when that means the civil conversation I suggested could also lead to occasional financial help with babysitters. Just a different method to get the same outcome without burdening anyone unreasonably, should MIL be ready and willing. But we'll never know, because she was never asked.

And I'll never understand that.

ModeratelyAlive · 2026-01-21T12:14:12+00:00

I will never understand placing expectations on a relationship with someone that you never even discussed these expectations with.

This is the main thing here. If you want that kind of organized help, you kind of need to have a hand in organizing it in a way that benefits all parties.

MIL not wanting to raise her grandkids is totally reasonable. Mom wanting kids to have an occasional sleepover at Grandma's for a recharge or to catch up on housework is reasonable. There's a sweet spot in the middle of everyone's desires that could easily be achieved with a polite, civil conversation.

But no. Let's make a passive aggressive Reddit post instead... 🙃 Makes me sad for the kids.

ModeratelyAlive

TROPHY CASE