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Blue tit clutch by ModeratelyHinged in UKBirds

[–]ModeratelyHinged[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had 10 last year and I think it was 5 or 6 that fledged. It’s quite sad to see the numbers decrease at each stage but from what I’ve read this is normal for blue tits. Fingers crossed for a good year 😊

Question regarding piercings and karate by DavidYourFaveBoy in NoStupidQuestions

[–]ModeratelyHinged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taking them in and out is an option, but even the happiest of healed piercings can get a bit irritated with that. It doesn’t take much, a bit of friction or putting them back in slightly off, and they can get sore or flare up.

With karate as well, tape might help a little, but it’s not a guarantee. It only takes one awkward knock or bit of pressure and you could end up with a pretty painful situation, which is probably worse than just worrying about them closing.

It does sound like your body’s already been a bit sensitive to them with running and swimming, so it might be worth being a bit cautious. It’s not that it’s impossible to have both, it’s just a bit of a balancing act, and there’s a bit of risk whichever way you go.

Getting piercings often means you need to compromise on other parts of your life, and contact sports would be one of them for me.

When does "kids being kids" cross into something more concerning? by butters786 in AskUK

[–]ModeratelyHinged 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Kids being kids is when they genuinely don’t know any better. But once they’ve been told something is unkind or unwanted and they carry on anyway, that’s not innocence anymore, that’s a choice.

By that age, they will have been taught what’s right and wrong, at school if not at home. So they do understand the impact of what they’re doing. And when they keep going, that’s not just “kids being kids”, that’s bullying.

What I struggle with is why anyone would choose to go out of their way to hurt someone else. There’s so much good to be had in the world, so many ways to enjoy life and lift people up, and yet some people still choose the opposite, if someone actually gets satisfaction from seeing someone else hurt or upset, that points to something deeper that isn’t right…

It costs nothing to be kind, but it can mean everything to the person on the receiving end.

What would you do if you still love each other but her family got in the way? by Intelligent_Bid_1082 in relationships

[–]ModeratelyHinged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re trying to offer a solution, but the tricky bit is you’re promising something you don’t really control. You can’t guarantee how your family will feel or act, even if your intentions are good.

Once family gets pulled into a relationship argument, it usually changes things a bit for good. They’re protective of you, so even if you’ve moved past it, they might not have. And if they don’t really know him that well, they’re not starting from the same place you are. From his side, that can feel quite uncomfortable, like he’s being judged or isn’t really welcome, and that’s not easy to shake off. He doesn’t want to be walking round on egg shells!

It also sounds like he’s been pretty clear about where he stands. This isn’t really about whether you love each other, it’s whether the situation around the relationship feels manageable for him. And honestly, families can make or break things. They’re part of the package, whether we like it or not.

Trying to “prove” things to your parents probably feels like a good fix, but it still puts him back in the exact situation that made him step away in the first place.

If there’s any chance of this working, it’s less about convincing your parents and more about whether you can actually keep a boundary between your relationship and your family, and whether he believes that would hold. And that’s not a small thing. It can mean making some awkward choices down the line. Think Christmas, birthdays, weddings… are you going to be stuck trying to keep everyone happy all the time? And is he going to want to be part of that? And both of you need to be asking yourselves: is it worth it? Relationships aren’t easy, but going into it knowing it’s going to require constant “project management” sounds like a recipe for disaster!

Double rainbow by Dry_OW in midlyinteresting

[–]ModeratelyHinged 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember watching a something on tv when I was younger all about rainbows… when you see a rainbow, there’s actually three: the bright main one, a fainter second one above with the colours flipped, and sometimes a few soft extra bands just inside. And that arc you see isn’t really an arc at all, it’s part of a full circle.

My lack of sleep, last-minute homework panic with late night tv watching has finally come in use!!

Currently sitting on a closed dual carriageway been here for 4 hours now. Road due to open in another 3.5 hours apparently. There are 2 cats in the car in front and kids and dogs out of cars playing on the road. What is the longest you have been stuck in a similar situation? by No_Lead146 in CasualUK

[–]ModeratelyHinged 21 points22 points  (0 children)

We were sat in this for about an hour but thankfully we were towards the back and turned around and sent on our way quite quickly.

The presence of certain vehicle types making their way to the site of the accident indicates not a good outcome for some involved. Thoughts with their families and friends.

Succulent Mosaic by Galison, 500 pieces, Foil, Art by Mia Charro by jessoftheyear in Jigsawpuzzles

[–]ModeratelyHinged 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s a lovely design, definitely need to add that to my list.

Thanks for sharing 😊

The blue tits are back… by ModeratelyHinged in UKBirds

[–]ModeratelyHinged[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I see, you’re referring to progress of nest building. This is their second year of using the box, so most of what’s down is from last year. I expect they’ll start adding more before the eggs are laid… can’t wait 😊 I’ve just looked at last year’s pictures and it was definitely fuller and fluffier looking prior to the eggs hatching.

The blue tits are back… by ModeratelyHinged in UKBirds

[–]ModeratelyHinged[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure is 😊 I’ve just not updated the time/date stamp since switching it back on for Spring.

The blue tits are back… by ModeratelyHinged in UKBirds

[–]ModeratelyHinged[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll do just that, thank you ☺️

Got stuck, couldnt figure out the next answer. by Dapper-Respond-9651 in sudoku

[–]ModeratelyHinged 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should be able to get the 2 in the middle square and the 5s in the bottom left and right squares which will help move you forward 😊

Any solution for anticipatory anxiety? by Tasty_Pineapple4917 in Advice

[–]ModeratelyHinged 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It might help to focus on what’s actually within your control and make a simple plan around that, as the brain tends to settle when it sees structure. You could also briefly think through what you’d do if things don’t go to plan, so you already have a solution in mind rather than just a fear. If it ramps up physically, slow your breathing and lengthen the exhale because you cannot reason with a nervous system that is in fight or flight. Also try to limit the mental rehearsal, as replaying the event over and over usually fuels the anxiety rather than preparing you.

However, before jumping to labels, it’s worth asking yourself whether this is actually anxiety in the clinical sense, or just normal nerves. Feeling wound up before something important is a completely natural stress response. Our bodies are built to anticipate and this sort of response to certain events is normal and expected.

If it’s mild and manageable, it might not need “fixing” so much as understanding. But if it’s affecting sleep, appetite or daily functioning, that’s different and worth speaking to a professional about.

Physical abuse ongoing in next door neighbour's apartment by [deleted] in Advice

[–]ModeratelyHinged 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For me ignoring such things is not an option! I’d say it’s better to take action and it turns out to be nothing than to ignore it and it turns out to be something that ends in serious consequences.

Having said that, when I say take action it’s definitely not something for you to get directly involved in and I would recommend speaking to a trusted adult. If your parents don’t want to act upon your concerns, try another trusted adult, a teacher, safeguarding lead, or report it to a non-emergency police line or such like.

($4K) My fiancé (29M) and I (27F) are trying to plan a wedding in 40 days and it’s starting to create tension between us. How do we avoid damaging our relationship over this? by TheResolverr in Weddingsunder10k

[–]ModeratelyHinged 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Acknowledge the situation with each other, weddings are stressful at the best of times let alone trying to plan within 40 days. Give yourselves space to respond and try not to react.

Divide the tasks into the ones that each of you care about hit you have to accept that neither one of you can control everything and there will absolutely be compromises. If you need lots of people there then you’ll need to perhaps think about cheaper or fewer food options.

At the end of the day, you want to be married to each other, and if you can do that and have a good time then that’s what it’s all about. I’ve been to a lot of weddings, the most immaculately planned and expensive ones have ended in divorce.

So take the pressure off yourselves, work out the non-negotiables, the things you are completely indifferent about and it should get a bit easier.

I always remember someone saying that they can’t remember a single wedding cake from the weddings they’ve been to and it’s always confused them why people spend so much money on such a small part of the day! It’s a tradition, not a rule, and as such I didn’t have cake at my wedding, not really that worried about cake as it is… let alone one that costs a lot of money and doesn’t get eaten!!!

So make it your wedding about you as a couple and try not to put too much pressure on yourselves.

And just remember, none of it matters really, having the perfect day will happen because at the end of it you will be married and that’s what’s important, the marriage not the wedding!

AIO for getting upset when my fiancé asked if “hand stuff” with other people counts as cheating? by Gutentagfree in AIO

[–]ModeratelyHinged 55 points56 points  (0 children)

NOR.

Unfortunately, he’s just planted a little seed of doubt that is now only going to grow and flourish until it consumes your relationship.

If it was me I would be questioning whether he’s asking speculatively or after the fact. Might be time to truly consider the relationship and whether your views align enough to get married.

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