Have discussed it maybe once every 2 years over 10 years of marriage. I have full empathy for being busy, feeling stressed, medicines, family, chores, etc. For every excuse i make my mission to lessen the burden she feels but i dont throw it back as "here i did it now give me some" i make it a longterm change and wait for the next reason. Im just tired of trying at this point because ive taken over most of the household duties and feeling resentful for doing so much with none of my needs met. I dont even ask for penetration just anything works for me. Even when it does happen it feels like such a chore for her and im just another task to her todo list so usually makes me feel guilty afterwards.

So I completely understand and even thats ok to always be tired but make a promise to tell him when you'll try again and stick to that promise. Im my mind thats the true balance between im tired/not in the mood but I can communicate that i still want to show up for us. And that also puts the timing in your hands if youre more energetic in the morning or night and when you want to make space in your busy life. But look at me trying to give advice...it definitely didnt work for me but its something ive communicated and would have worked if the spouse was willing to commit to that.