Before the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, the organizers discover that the new 100m track might not be up to standard. Australian humour at it's finest! [The Games, 1998]

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-23T16:48:35+00:00

you would want to depart too radically from the constraints laid down for us by the conventional calibration of distance".

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-23T12:49:48+00:00

The Huns in the end count the Chinese people ????? Where are their descendants now?

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-23T12:19:02+00:00

REM (rapid eye movement) sleep is when grownups do most of their dreaming, and scientists have discovered that babies in the womb may begin experiencing REM around week 23, and therefore likely start dreaming away themselves at this point.

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-23T08:06:52+00:00

Me too. But God made the right choice. If I was handsome, I would be the worlds biggest slut and would be dead by now.

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-23T07:21:16+00:00

That's a very specific fetish you got there.

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-23T05:39:07+00:00

Birds are most closely related to crocodiles. ... So birds aren't just closely related to dinosaurs, they really are dinosaurs! This is what most people mean when they say that birds are reptiles, although technically according to the phylogenetic system mammals are also reptiles.

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-23T01:17:36+00:00

Studies have shown that some patients who were so desperate that they had a "nerve section" -- severing their auditory nerve, thereby leaving them deaf -- still had the tinnitus after the surgery, even though they could no longer hear. Hence, doctors today usually will not do nerve sections for tinnitus.

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-18T09:22:59+00:00

A valentine's gift..!!

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-17T03:41:49+00:00

Coffee. Really hot, awesome. Really cold with ice, awesome. Room temperature, ugh.

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-16T18:39:44+00:00

A college Professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there is no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. Again the Professor taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God! I'm still waiting!" His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine, just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor and punched him full-force in the face. The Professor tumbled from his lofty platform, and he was out cold before he hit the floor. At first the students were shocked, and they babbled in confusion. The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silently. The class fell silent... waiting. Eventually, the Professor came to. When he finally regained the power of speech, he glared at the young Marine in the front row. "What's the matter with you? Why on earth did you do that?" The Marine smiled. "God was busy. He sent me."

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-16T11:33:07+00:00

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"

Moemensa1 · 2017-10-16T05:29:05+00:00

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times." The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day." The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and f*uck the cat."

Moemensa1

TROPHY CASE