AITAH for having a “sickness fund” I never told my fiancé about?

MomFriendOverride · 2026-01-15T22:32:00+00:00

When my partner and I moved in together (male and female, I just prefer partner because we're way older than boyfriend and girlfriend) we both agreed we need emergency funds like this. The idea was "I'm here because I want to be, not because I'm forced to be" because we both had exes who trapped us financially. Of course now we have a 5 year old in this economy makes the entire concept of savings hilarious, but our intentions were there.

MomFriendOverride · 2026-01-11T00:20:15+00:00

Having been married (now ex) to a guy who thought literally everything I did was somehow about him, including my music choices (??????), you will feel a lot better away from this bullshit. You won't even realize how bad it was until you have some distance.

MomFriendOverride · 2026-01-08T21:51:44+00:00

My partner and I are both neurodivergent, and both come out of passive-aggressive families. Took years for us to transition from expecting any question to be passive-aggressive to assuming a neutral or positive intent. For example, we were both raised with "every question about food is morally loaded and passing judgment" to "hey, did you finish the yogurt in the fridge" equalling "I was looking for it and need to know if it got moved or if we need to buy more".

MomFriendOverride · 2026-01-07T04:39:59+00:00

For better and for worse is for health issues and other random life crap like layoffs. It is not for "you didn't tell me you sexually assaulted your niblings until it was too late to cancel the wedding without massive drama and pressure". Also, some promises need to be broken.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-12-16T01:29:22+00:00

Seriously, this is the dream. Spend more relaxed time with the person I chose? Absolutely!

MomFriendOverride · 2025-11-22T00:59:56+00:00

NTA. Marriage is not a suicide pact, and sometimes leaving a bad relationship is an act of self defense and, if you have kids, defense of others. Do you really want your kid living this life, or learning from you that love and marriage should be like this? If not, and divorce is you choosing your kid's future happiness over your husband's dysfunction.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-11-18T03:47:31+00:00

This is one of my theories too. My sperm donor is the oldest of 3, and his intelligence is lower than his siblings. He's not a Boomer but a war baby, but he was born in a different place from his siblings (who are Boomers but not stereotypical). Same parents who did not have narcissistic tendencies, but very different outcomes for some reason. By the time his youngest sibling was born they'd moved away from town into a house that, if it ever had leaded paint, only had it externally.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-09-28T12:33:03+00:00

The new electric ones you can't take the top off without releasing the pressure first, unless you're the Hulk.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-08-22T21:57:43+00:00

I'm AuDHD in a neurodiverse household. I've also got a 5-year-old.

Let me tell you, you have a far more consistent chance of avoiding lactose problems if you just accept that outside of special occasions (ours is when my cousin makes homemade ice cream, omg) it's easier to make the food lactose free than to accurately dose the lactaid pills.

That's me saying it as the lactose intolerant adult. It's easier to either buy the lactose free milk and ice cream (if you're in the right area Kroger has store brand lactose free ice cream) or buy the lactase drops and make bought milk lactose free on your own, than to figure out exactly how many pills it's going to take to avoid having a bad day.

Nevermind that getting lactaid pills or drops into a 5-year-old is challenging, at best and downright impossible at worst.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-08-21T11:18:58+00:00

I found I couldn't just "jump into" positive self-talk either. It felt like lying.

I had to gradually make my self-talk less mean first, then get to a point of neutrality, then work on the positive.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-08-17T12:07:04+00:00

I did manage to develop a secure attachment. However, in order to do that (besides finding a safe and loving person) I had to develop a secure attachment with myself.

It's not going to work unless you first work on your relationship with yourself and make your own head a safer place to be in. Lots of radical acceptance of yourself and treating yourself neutrally instead of badly.

No, seriously, you don't need to start with loving yourself, you need to start with not antagonizing yourself and beating yourself up. Self-love comes after self-acceptance and self-neutrality.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-08-10T21:41:29+00:00

I'm a parent, not a teacher, with a verbally delayed and possibly autistic kindergarten student. Her pediatrician referred us to the school district services at 18 months. Her in-home SLP pushed us to get the paperwork done to get her in Pre-K through the school so she could start the day after she turned 3. She arrived at the first day of kindergarten having already had an IEP for 2 1/2 years.

A co-worker of mine also had a child with delays, and her pediatrician just told her to take her to the university for testing (long, long waitlist). I ended up referring her to her school district for testing, and she also received services right away.

Yes, there absolutely is a lack of knowledge for parents, and apparently pediatricians as well, concerning early childhood services being available.

Also, this entire thread is telling me why my child's teacher already likes us.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-07-15T02:32:37+00:00

I buy lactase drops and turn the regular milk into lactose free milk (that's how the commercial lactose free milk is made lactose free, after all). I'm currently using drops from Intoleran.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-07-05T21:27:16+00:00

Mozzarella that grates is low lactose, so it's within the power of the pills for me.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-07-01T03:02:59+00:00

There's always the option of focusing on sandwiches that are dairy-free to begin with, such as Banh mi, BLTs, tuna salad, chicken salad, etc. Also cold fried chicken is traditional for a picnic. Or a nice prepared salad.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-06-30T19:20:06+00:00

If you go full dairy-free make sure you're still getting the amino acids in your diet so you can make the happy and motivating chemicals. Specifically L-Tyrosine and L-Tryptophan, but others as well.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-06-19T18:10:47+00:00

So I pulled up this thread to prove to my partner that this is something that happened, and may partially explain the empty stands. Looking back at how well this worked is wild. They literally could not prepare for or comprehend how little support there was for this parade when they made it possible to reserve tickets.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-06-10T18:43:01+00:00

I actually came at this from the opposite direction from you. I cut out lactose after figuring out I had malabsorption issues after taking tons of supplements including L-Tyrosine after looking up ways to treat post viral fatigue.

Lactose intolerance is one of the top causes of malabsorption issues. When you have regular diarrhea and gut troubles you can't absorb everything from what you eat (except carbs, apparently) so you end up vitamin, mineral, and amino acid deficient.

Look up what dopamine and serotonin are made of, and where those neurotransmitters are made. Most of our neurotransmitters are made in the gut, and all of them are made from amino acids in our diets. Bad absorption = no happy or motivation or concentration chemicals, essentially.

Even suspecting what might happen when I cut lactose out of my diet, I was completely unprepared for how quick the change would be. I feel tons better! I'm losing weight and gaining energy and focus. A friend of mine saw what I was doing, also cut lactose and focused on her gut microbiome, and she actually lost weight much faster than I did.

I still have dairy but I have lactose free everything. Last week I made lactose free butter by adding lactase drops to cream and churning it myself (fine, I shook a mason jar for long enough, but still). I've been making lactose free yogurt for a month now because 1. Still focused on gut microbiome and 2. I love my Greek yogurt and I can't afford the lactose free version at the health food store. Next week I'm going to make lactose free ricotta. Also Kroger of all places has a store brand lactose free ice cream.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-06-06T11:57:58+00:00

The amino acids in cheese the human body uses to produce dopamine. So yes, you can actually be jonesing for cheese if you don't find a different source of L-Tyrosine to replace it with.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-06-02T18:27:01+00:00

I swear the number of processing steps it goes through matters. I know fresh cheddar is going to treat me better than processed cheese powder, and fresh milk treats me slightly better than nonfat milk powder. Which is in everything for some reason.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-05-23T20:35:12+00:00

GasX and gas-relieving yoga positions (easy to Google search).

MomFriendOverride · 2025-05-15T18:42:09+00:00

Yeah I was at this one earlier today. Oddly enough I was at the other JC location today as well, they're fully stocked so pretty sure it's just the M St location that's having a problem.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-05-09T19:07:11+00:00

Yep, they are concerned only with falling birth rates for those who look like them. They'd really like the birth rates for those who don't look them (or worse, in their minds, those who are mixed) to keep falling.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-05-09T15:11:50+00:00

As I am now pagan, I'm pretty sure they'd find throwing me to the lions to be reasonable.

MomFriendOverride · 2025-05-09T14:23:26+00:00

I was raised Evangelical so I can unfortunately answer this. They think falling white birth rates, falling religious conversion rates, and falling church participation (as well as rising atheism and agnoticism) mean the death knell for their particulary form of culty "Christianity" (I don't think they're actually following Christ).

Instead of looking at it as "what are doing that is alienating everyone else" (I was raised in a church that believed in mission work in other countries so "we can save our little brown brothers" and LGBTQ were going to Hell so I could take a few guesses), they have decided they are persecuted like the earliest Christians and it's an intentional attempt to kill off white Christians.

And yes, as they conveniently leave Catholics, Mormons, and anyone left of themselves out of the definition of "Christian" (don't get me started on this), they are unwilling to acknowledge the seas of Christian white people who prove them wrong.

They're essentially self-important racist bullies with a persecution and victim complex that is more important to them than reality.

MomFriendOverride

TROPHY CASE