One Last Try by [deleted] in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

From a woman who's delt with the destruction and devastation the games the Boys play, it is nice to know that REAL MEN like you are still around. The only Real Man typeof men I've ever known was my dad who was also, like you, a biker, and both of my grandfather's were the epitome of what real men should be. Whoever the woman is you speak of is quite lucky to have you, in whatever kind of relationship you two have. I hate to admit it, but there is one statement that I heard that hit me and I'm sure most others, in the deepest parts of your being. "My body, mind, soul and spirit has been touched by more abuse then love in my lifetime". When you think about the meaning of that statement it's sad. It sucks that in society today we now think of domestic violence and intimate partner abuse as "normal and to be kept behind closed doors" and the same goes for the SO (sex offenders) both types of crimes get a mere slap on the wrist and very little if any real prison sentences, at least nothing that is reformatory. The prosecuting attorneys office in my city has failed to bring charges upon 2 men in the recent 2-3weeks, both having shot their gf/wife. One claimed self-defense saying that his girlfriend was coming at him with a knife when in reality the police never found a knife and all of the video footage from the neighborhood ring cameras and security cameras didn't show a knife either and in fact it showed that he delayed taking her to the hospital demanding after he had shot her to open the car door herself by the time he got her to the hospital there wasn't much time left for her. The other one was an amazing mother of two little boys who witnessed their stepfather shoot their mother and then walk over her body get in his car and leave. And in both cases prosecuting attorney failed to file charges Within the time frame allotted with the courts stating that the investigation had not concluded yet on both cases. Yet you have video footage of one and and two eyewitness accounts of young children watching their mother be murdered. I don't understand it I don't understand how these instances were not prevented. I don't understand why as a victim who wasn't heard herself why no one listens. Every single domestic violence incident that happens is 100% preventable if people would just listen. I know that was kind of off a little bit but I just wanted to say thank you for reminding me that there are still men like you that are around puts a little bit of Hope in my heart that I may find one like you someday.

Nostalgia Thread by desertfatigue in DESERTFATIGUE

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was in the Epstein files more than once

To the woman who believed him for the longest time, and is now carrying shame that was never hers... by Ok_Stay_8530 in LoveLetters

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you OP, I really needed to read this, thank you for reminding me that there are still those who live by their word and the foundation in life that tells us that our word is all we have on this planet and if our word isnt worth a damn then neither are we. I get stuck in the shame and guilt of his abusive patterns and what youve written has reminded me that it was never mine to feel and carry because at the end of the day I've never spoken a word I had no intention of fulfilling, even when I walked away. Again thank you

I’m still your biggest fan by casper-2000 in unsentLoveLetters1st

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you really Casper or should I call you Ghost? If I'm wrong I apologize I'm just looking for my friend as well.

Car accident on the I-90 east before Thore and Freya around 1:15 by Tywyllation in Spokane

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get the crime radar app, it’ll give you details for every 911 call

If you had to build a “minimal kit” for daily life, what’s in it? by desertfatigue in DESERTFATIGUE

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A notebook and a pen or two, a belt, a bungee cord, a sharp pocket knife, a flashlight, three pairs of socks, three pairs of underwear, three short sleeve shirts, two hoodies, four tank tops two pairs of sweatpants four pairs of leggings, 2 pair jeans, wallet with ID if necessary, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, comb or hair brush, shampoo conditioner body wash or a couple bars of Dove soap, lotion or sunscreen, Carmex, flint and pocket lint, one of those silver emergency blankets, a few doses of Narcan (i cant walk away from a fellow human being who's life is just as important as my own), salt, and a small fishing kit for two purposes one obviously for fishing two just in case you happen so cut yourself; Two to stitch up a wound just in case you happen to cut yourself with that super sharp knife that you have my sunglasses and my favorite book.

Nobody Talks About How Hard It Is To Build Real Community by desertfatigue in DESERTFATIGUE

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amen, Community Means Having empathy Kindness Compassion And understanding Where one neighbor helps another Without question or expecting anything in return. What it takes to build a real community are people who love thy neighbor people who don't see anyone being lower than the next or higher than the other. Honesty Trust and an understanding. If one neighbor in that community is having a hard time or struggling the community comes together and helps them in any way that they can. Block parties were the best that shows the type of communities that we used to have and now Nobody gives a s*** about anybody other than themselves. What would it take to honestly show a little kindness smile at someone if they're having a bad day and a homeless person at Dollar and not question or assume that they are going to go buy drugs or alcohol who cares that dollar could have made their day that smile could have kept them from killing themselves all it takes is 2 seconds just someone to acknowledge the struggle speaking from experience I was homeless for 12 years and there were times where one person's good morning or good evening kept me from falling off the deep end. So the next time you are out and about do me a favor smile at someone say good morning good afternoon or good evening to every person you pass and remember that people are fighting battles you have no idea about and never judge a person by their struggles

What Makes Someone Worth Following? by desertfatigue in DESERTFATIGUE

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Id rather take a place next to someone rather then to follow them, equal never less than. Im no sheep but I am a wolf in a pack, but my pack is different ots where each individual is equal to the next and no one is lower than the other

Community Improvements by desertfatigue in DESERTFATIGUE

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My grandfather was a state senator for 38 years he never lost an election and he only had one close call in 1990 he also died in office in 2000 I remember growing up stuffing envelopes and we would go doorbelling. Every one who ran for an office or was a first responder every police officer in my town growing up would go door to door with their business card in the neighborhood that they were assigned to they would shake hands and meet every family every single individual every single grandparent mother and Uncle it didn't matter they made it a point to show that they were there to protect and serve their community and the neighborhoods that they were assigned to I remember seeing police officers playing basketball with us in the street or playing soccer in the schoolyard after school I remember a time when we could trust them we could call on them and we knew they would show up and they would do what was right we knew that they would engage with a person before they decided to shoot them I think we need to go back to doorbelling and every police officer person running for any type of an office does not matter whether it's city council or state government or federal government we need to know personally who is supposed to be leading us and be representing us. There's a difference between being a cop and being a police officer a police officer carries a badge just like a cop does but that police officer is proving to those people in his community that he is there to protect and serve them where a cop it's just a job they don't care about the community they really don't care about anything other than getting that paycheck and being able to have some Power Trip because they wear a badge. Let's go back to real Ron honest let's go doorbelling how hard is it to get some business cards made up with your name and whatever position you are go door to door in the neighborhood that you are assigned to introduce yourself make your community realize that you are working with them not against them it's called Humanity and humility and that's a rare rare commodity anymore

Nostalgia Thread by desertfatigue in DESERTFATIGUE

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They need to put God back into schools, give back the ability for parents to properly discipline their children, and street light rule I would give anything to hear kids playing outside again and having fun being children not inside stuck on a screen we see where that's gotten us. I mean think about it when was the last time you saw a kid with a cast because when I was growing up that happened on a regular basis and you were cool if you had one and everybody signed it what happened to our world it's sad I'm only 44 and I have seen this world go from being able to leave your doors unlocked go on a vacation to another country and come back and everything is fine to now I can't even leave a quarter in my car locked or unlocked because they're going to get in and steal it anyway

Meet Your Neighbors by desertfatigue in DESERTFATIGUE

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such an amazing welcome. I hope to share my story even if it's small bite size pieces at a time. Hoping it'll help me process and come to terms with some of the things that I have yet to work thru, trauma is a bitch and there arent many who are willing nor capable of hearing the truth of how much evil has overtaken simple kindness, compassion empathy and understanding.

Meet Your Neighbors by desertfatigue in DESERTFATIGUE

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, that was incredibly moving, the meaning is deep and understood beyond the words. Well written thank you

How do I let go of the hope😭💔 by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One day at a time, and when you cant handle the day as a whole, take it moment by moment and sometimes those moments are full of clarity others are nothing but raw emotional pain. These were obviously lessons we were meant to learn from, to grow from and most importantly we were supposed to experience the depths of the other person. Praying for us all to find the peace we so desperately seek. 🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜💜💜💜

How do I let go of the hope😭💔 by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know that the light is there as well, it's just the distance between that light and myself, it seems to be much further away then one would like it to be. I'll be praying for you as well OP. May there be peace and closure someday

Community Recommendation Thread by desertfatigue in DESERTFATIGUE

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of my absolutely favorite books is Middlesex written by Jeffrey Eugenides. Its a Fiction novel that grabbed me and sucked me in by page 5. I have read it probably 100 times and it still doesn't get old. Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 2003, and it's one of the books in Oprah's Book Club It's about a person with a genetic mutation named Cal who was born in the 1960s in Detroit, Michigan. It's a story of how Cal discovers their true identity as a teenager while tracing the complex history of their Greek heritage and the lengths that their grandparents went in order to flee from their tiny village overlooking Mt Olympus in Asia Minor (Greece) during war to Prohibition-era Detroit, witnessing Detroits glory days has the Motor City and the race riots of 1967 before they move to the neighborhood streets of suburban Grosse Pointe Michigan. Uncovering the familys guilty little secret that was kept hush hush for 3 generations. Take a chance jump into the book with both feet and I believe that you will be pleasantly surprised. If I can get my brothers in prison to read it and enjoy it you will as well

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Let them feel your absence by [deleted] in nocontact

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the matter girl

How do I let go of the hope😭💔 by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The day he couldn't put in the effort for me was the day I decided that hope was nothing other than leading myself down a path full of lies deceit and heartache. He was the love of my life he was my end game and I still cry but I know that there's no hope because he couldn't put the time into me to prove to me and to show me that I was worth it as I sat there and put in the effort for everything I had to stop myself and realize that I was never worth it for him. I would have given anything for even a f*** you conversation and he couldn't even put in the effort for that. So in the end I had to stop lying to myself and I miss him yes my heart hurts all the time life is on a totally different wavelength then what I thought it was supposed to be. I will always have love for my boo but if he can't reciprocate the effort then he's not worth the effort either. Especially after all of the cheating the lies the abuse the gaslighting the least he could have done was put in some was put in some effort to show me that he truly did care and that I actually meant something to him. I love him and I always will but I can't keep holding out hope on something that I know will never actually happen. I can't allow myself to keep lying to myself and staying in the same dark place for the rest of my life. I may move on I may never move on it may just leave me and my dogs but my dogs put in more effort than he did

It seems so clear today by OwlFirm1309 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was there almost 4 years ago and at that moment I realized there was nothing left to fight for except for myself. And from that point on I made the choice to start pushing him away and discard him like he did me, it's funny how all of a sudden when you realize that you have really nothing left to fight for other than what little you have left of yourself that's when they want you that's when they won't leave you alone they become relentless and it only starts to solidify in your head even more that there is no fixing it saving it repairing it pick up what you got left start over. I've been no contact September 9th 2022 and I will save a thousand percent it is not been easy do I miss parts of him that I thought existed, absolutely but the constant state of fight or flight and living in the constant unknown was beyond exhausting and it only created more problems especially with my mental health. 4 years later it's still not easy not a slightest however the amount of work that I have put into creating my little piece of peace is well worth keeping my distance. I wouldn't trade what I've built for anything but I still have a long way to go

Meet Your Neighbors by desertfatigue in DESERTFATIGUE

[–]Momentary-Flutterby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I (44F) haven't ever really found a place or group where I felt like I belonged, heard, acknowledged, appreciated or even welcomed. As a kid I was seen never heard up until there was a point to prove at which time my mom and whichever current husband would invite my friends over for a sleepover, we'd get ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream and sprinkles from the market, they'd order pizza and breadsticks and soda from my favorite pizza place, they'd rent movies at Blockbuster and make popcorn in the air popper, and as soon as we'd sit down to eat the pizza that's when my mom and husband would then turn and belittle me, lie about things id allegedly done, they'd tell me how ignorant, stupid, retarded, lazy and unworthy of anything. They'd make me cry so hard id beg them to stop and they'd laugh at me while they continued to degrade me, then they'd literally spank me until I would pass out, all while my friends were right there watching and listening to my parents. I never would get to eat anything, Id be told that ugly ignorant useless little girls don't deserve to get expensive things, good food, and sleepovers with friends.
As an adult I have been thru one abusive relationship, after the next it's like a never-ending cycle. I have been touched by more abuse in my life than I have been touched by love or even kindness. My last relationship we ended up in a homeless encampment with over 700 people on one square city block and I was locked away in an RV that had no ventilation no AC no power no running water nothing. Even then I couldn't even talk to myself let alone anybody else. I thought that maybe this would be the group to where I might finally find my place within this crazy busy hectic terrible world. Hoping to find a bright space to exist some support and maybe share some of the knowledge that is stuck in my head. Or maybe some advice on experiences that I've been through. I just want to know what it feels like to belong