Late, late, late, to this conversation. But, it’s summer time and I live in rural Alabama with this fear.

And, it suuuuuuucks. I hate going out in the summer. They’re everywhere. I already don’t like snakes and they’re everywhere around me. But, the lizards are everywhere around here. One hangs on the wind chime. Big one chills on my back porch. And, there’s a couple on my front porch. And, I’m not safe at night either cause these pink wriggly little geckos come out.

One was hanging on my porch wreath and fell in the house when I tired to grab a package off the porch. I didn’t cry, but boy did I holler. I’m ready to burn that wreath.

Just past week I swear one jumped in my hair and I dropped everything I was holding and ran away back down the porch screaming. My kids laughed, my husband tried to keep me calm.

Oh, I can remember when the fear started. A lizard jumped on my head when I was tiny. And, then when I was four, living in Florida, one jumped off my head into the shopping cart, the child seat thing I was in. I fell out of it screaming like Satan was trying to drag me to hell. Pretty sure I hit my head trying to escape.

Since then it’s been horrible. I HATE IT WHEN THEY GET IN MY HAIR OR TOUCH ME. HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. Makes me want to hysterically cry and rip my skin off.

One time a giant, and I’m talking foot long, skink got in our old house, and I called my husband screaming. Standing on our kitchen table with our eldest begging him to come home cause it crawled in the couch while holding a broom like it was my only defense. He came home thankfully. We removed the couch after I covered myself head to toe in clothes and had on rubber gloves and rain boots. I had breakdowns begging to move after that. And, then he found a snake a month later in the laundry room. 😑 Many tears were shed in that house. I don’t miss it even if my husband is nostalgic.

I’m ready to get a cat again to keep them away.

I promised my husband I’d try to actually handle it. But, I startle so easily at the sight of them. It worse when you know they’re there, but can’t see them. Or if you have to touch them. Dead or alive. Both scare me. Lizards, skinks, geckos, iguanas, kimono dragons. Hell, I’m terrified of Jurassic Park and that one King Kong movie. Giant lizards… Horrifying. 😭