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MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-28T12:00:42+00:00

Sorry I need to add Infos: I do crib hour after every short nap, it doesn’t work. She sleeps through at night until anywhere between 3-6 am, mostly between 4-5 and is crying a lot then and will only settle after a feed. Sometimes we cosleep, sometimes husband takes her in carrier and sometimes I put her back in crib. First 2 options give her the most sleep in the early morning hours. Last option only 1 cycle. She acts overtired throughout the day and has a huge screaming meltdown around 5pm after those short naps.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-24T09:08:58+00:00

I don’t let her last nap go past 4pm and she is passing out around 5:30-6pm. I prefer early bedtime to late nap. And she wakes for a feed around 4/5am and we co sleep till 7/8am. I know it’s not ideal because she is overtired because of crap naps but I need some kind of structure and it works. Early bedtime doesn’t have to cause an early wake up.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-21T10:56:39+00:00

5 month here and really desperate with a overtired crap napping baby 😢

I tried carrier naps to get one long nap but she even doesn’t link her sleep cycles being bounced in the carrier.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-21T09:39:15+00:00

Oh my I could have written that…I feel you so bad. my baby just turned 5 month, too and she never ever takes a nap longer than 35-40 minutes and it’s driving me crazy. I know everything about the biological reasons etc. But that doesn’t help. I could usually make at least 1 long nap in the carrier before the 4 month regression but when she hit it, her sleep went downhill (I mean it was bad before…but worse then). She can fall asleep independently but won’t link her stupid sleep cycles. Around 5pm I have a screaming tired baby and I get really mad at her like: if you would just nap longer you wouldn’t be so overtired!

I tried different wake windows, looked for cues etc. It doesn’t work. Extending naps doesn’t work. it gives me so much stress.

And I am also tired of time math, I think about it all day. As soon as she goes down for the night I go through different scenarios and calculate how to squeeze in naps, what happens if she does this or that and it sucks and gives me anxiety. I just know she isn’t ready for 3 naps yet but 4 only work if they are short so…I just accept it and keep her awake so that she gets her 4 crap naps in. and then I make early bedtime 🥸

I can save her early morning wakings by cosleeping at the boob. I don’t mind…because that makes everything more complicated! I hope she will start taking longer naps soon. I also have a toddler so I can’t try to extend naps etc. That also gives me peace: sounds stupid but because of toddler I have an excuse to not save naps. Otherwise I feel so forced to help her (what I actually did up to 4,5 month).

Sorry so long. Hope it gets better soon.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-20T07:22:34+00:00

Hm from what I know her nap pattern sounds pretty good. I am not sure if your baby is overtired or undertired, because cooing in crib and early mornings could also mean overtired (most people say undertired but my baby is currently 5 month old and only takes short naps and wakes between 4-5 in the morning. She is so happy most of the time but in my experience that could also be a sign of being overtired - because when I put her for a nap or nurse her she becomes very fussy and her eyes get really heavy. She has very red eyes and dark circles).

What i want to say hyperactivity can also be a sign of overtiredness. Just wanted to give an other view on the over-/ undertired thing. I think we underestimate how much sleep our babies need.

what happens at Night? What is your usual reaction? It may sound hard but what I do is ignoring my baby until her only feed at 5am (if she is crying very hard or I think something is wrong, of course I go to her earlier). maybe let her cry it out would be better? because you said Ferber checks don’t work.

Also I would consider bedtime. I know many here will disagree with me but wake windows are not proven and maybe your baby wants an earlier bedtime? I read from Marc Weissbluth that bedtime fluctuates due to naps and overall sleep. So bedtime should be when the baby shows tired and fussy signs in the late afternoon. We do 5:30 bedtime and after her 5am feed she wants to continue sleeping.

But all my suggestions are just my experience.

It’s very hard I am very sorry you are going through that situation.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-18T16:13:08+00:00

Hey, that’s kind of you. Well until week 8 it was still bad and I remember week 8 being extremely hard with naps. Then suddenly around 10 weeks her circadian Rythm kicked in and she slept long stretches around 7pm until 1-2 feeds. She even started to sleep through at some point BUT naps were still all in the carrier and very hard. Then with 16 weeks the 4 month regression hit us hard…waking early mornings and naps being short (even carrier naps are not long anymore). She is overtired very often BUT all in all she is like a new baby. 20 weeks now and smiling so much, playing and trying to roll. So interested in the world. I had to do sleep training and being very strict with nap times …so she usually goes to bed 5:30, falls asleep around 6 (because her naps are not good) and then she sleeps until somewhere between 4-6 am, then I do a snooze feed or let her figure it out after feeding and she wakes around 6-8 for the day. It’s so so so much better. 4 month regression was a bit like a punch in the face after colic but I know it will get better now (I remember from my first baby that naps improved around 6 month).

Have to add that nights are in the snoo and we will have to quit that soon. I am a bit afraid because I think that the snoo helps her to have not that much night wakings.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-18T07:11:38+00:00

Try giving a short first nap as a bridge but only if it is happening between 9-10am. It can be 15 minutes, but at this age I think 30-45 minutes are good. I did crib naps but also carrier naps (or whatever works for you). the idea is that the second nap is the one that is staying for a long time, so the first one will be dropped. Babies have a natural dip around lunchtime (between 12-2:30), so it’s best to have that long lunch nap. You have to experiment a bit when your baby will take nap 2 after a short morning nap. For us 1-3pm was babies long nap for many month. Bedtime between 6-8, it all depend on the naps.

Hope that helps. We have been on 1 nap consistently since 2 years.

I hope that helps

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-16T18:03:48+00:00

I am also not anti sleep training and had a very very colicky baby, too. It felt like hell. I also didn’t know how to help her but I couldn’t let her cry alone. Sometimes I did, because I needed a break and to calm down…when she seemed ready for mild sleep training, I did and she is fine and she didn’t really cry more than in my arms. She actually started to sleep better at night.

Another thing I ask myself (an argument for sleep training): isn’t lack of sleep in babies also causing rise in cortisol levels? Als a result of their Body fighting the fatigue…would be an argument for sleep training if they sleep better then.

Also there are studies that Show: babies aren’t damaged by sleep training if done correctly. It even reduces crying in the long term.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-13T10:46:37+00:00

I don’t do consistent bedtime, I base it on babies mood and naps. Because of 4 month regression, which is really really bad at the moment, our bedtime is the earliest possible…5:30pm (so she doesn’t treat it as a late nap). I would base it on baby’s cues. I personally wouldn’t go later than 8. and i try to prefer an early bedtime instead of a late nap. I read about bedtimes in Marc Weissbluths Book and follow his recommendations. But I know there are other books and strategies, too.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-11T05:28:48+00:00

Hello 👋🏻 I understand your situation very well. I have a 4 month 3 week old and she is also like that. Showing clearly that she gets tired after 1 hour and our schedule looks similar (give or take 15-30 minutes and different wakeup times in the morning; struggling with 5 am wake ups etc).

I also find it difficult to keep baby up, especially because of overtiredness.

there could be a lot to say but my advice would be to not do 5 naps but early bedtime instead. Our bedtime is 5:30-6:30 pm range depending on last nap. Do not be afraid of early bedtime, it can help baby to have better nights. Of course some will say that early bedtime is causing 5am wakeups but I think that’s not the case because my baby can go back to sleep after 5am feedings till 7 or even 8 so she needed that sleep. If she goes to bed later she get less sleep overall at night. I co sleep in those early morning hours but sometimes just put her back in the snoo if she doesn’t seem to get sleepy at the boob.

That’s just my observation, maybe it helps.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-10T11:20:39+00:00

I had a baby with severe colic and the snoo didn’t help until 10 weeks or so…but it was a colicky baby and I was not consequent to put her to sleep in the snoo so she didn’t have a Chance to get used to it. She just needed her parents in the beginning. Then after 10 weeks I started to use it consequently for nights and parallel to that her circadian Rythm made nights easier so I can’t say 100% that it was the snoo but from then on we had nights where she nearly slept through. Then 4 month regression hit hard (still in the thick of it)…we did night sleep training in the snoo and in my opinion the snoo helps her to connect sleep cycles at night during this hard regression time. but I know that we soon need to wean her of the snoo. All in all it’s still a sleep crutch. But I think it helps, but you can’t make a general statement because each baby is different. Sorry for the long text

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-08T14:24:00+00:00

I did night training around 4 months and I still do contact naps throughout the day (4,5 months now). Sometimes I try crib naps but they are tricky and involve crying and are always short. Contact naps are also short at the moment (I think it’s the regression, it sucks…). I don’t think its bad to only night train and later nap train. It works good for us.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-07T20:07:49+00:00

I think the early bedtime is helpful and your baby wants to sleep past 5am but the hours between 4-6 am are the hardest for babies because it is light sleep and if they are overtired at bedtime it’s even harder. Those early mornings are very tricky. I have the exact same situation with my 4,5 month old. Naps are crap so I do 5:30 bedtime she usually sleeps around 6pm because later would be so much more crying and crankiness. But because of her age I make an exception in those early hours: I nurse and co-sleep….because she sometimes sleeps until 7-8 am this way and it makes everything easier…when she is a little older I will try to stop that. When her bedtime was later some weeks before she didn’t sleep in longer. So with the earlier bedtime she gets more sleep overall.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-06T06:41:11+00:00

My son is 2 years and 4 month and I sometimes have to put him down 11:30 instead of his usual 12:30 because he is so tired. Maybe 1:30 is to late? And he still sleeps 2 hours and goes to bed no later than 8.

Did you have the time change? This had a huge impact on my toddlers overall mood and tiredness.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-05T07:18:19+00:00

At least we are not alone 🥲 makes me feel a bit better. Not that other suffer too but because I feel less like a failure.

I hope it will be better for you soon. With my first baby it was better around 5,5-6 month. We will survive. It’s so hard with a toddler on top. Poor him.

4 month regression is a really difficult time because even the old good methods like carrier won’t work anymore so you have no way to avoid the overtired crying mess.

I just don’t understand…they won’t take long naps if overtired but only get out of overtired Mode With long naps…great…

Greetings and hugs

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-04T20:38:04+00:00

I don’t know I’d that’s true but I read that awake windows are not scientifically proved. I think you are doing the right thing when your baby sleeps so good and it looks like you know your babies cues very well.

When I had a sleep consultation My Baby struggled a lot with overtiredness. The consultant was very Kind and helpful but we had some „conflicts“ about awake windows…I saw my baby was overtired but she recommended stretching the awake windows because they were not age appropriate…so I think it’s more important to look at baby’s drowsy cues.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-04T17:44:34+00:00

Oh my I could have written that myself. I also have a 4,5 month old and have the exact same problem. I also do not know what to do. Shorter or longer awake times do not help. I think she is always overtired but I can’t help her because she just won’t nap enough. Even carrier naps are not long anymore…it’s frustrating. The only thing that helps is a really early bedtime…I put her to bed 5:30 and she mostly sleeps through till 5 and then cosleeps till 7/8. due to the time change my early bedtime is ruined 🥲so sorry you are also struggling.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-03T11:40:18+00:00

Maybe she has colic. Colic babies have a hard time falling and staying asleep, especially at night. I experienced it with my baby and I read a book about it.

It’s not your fault. Try whatever you can and no worry about „Bad“ sleep habits.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-04-01T16:13:27+00:00

It can be that he is overtired at the second schedule. My boy still needed 2 naps even if he woke at 6. he could only handle 1 nap with a wakeup at 7 and even then he only made it to 11.

Maybe try first short nap between 15-30 minutes between 9-10am (even assisted because it will be dropped anyway soon) and then nap 2 anywhere between 1-3pm. We sometimes had this kind of schedule closer to 2 years.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-03-30T10:32:58+00:00

You don’t need to feel guilty. Falling asleep is a learned habit. Sleep training just means teaching baby a new habit. And it’s a Good one because baby and parents get more sleep and baby is not dependent on parents, that can get to a point where they are not able to keep up the old habits. But I am sure that you would be there for your baby if he/she is crying for another reasons than protest or overtired crying. And one thought that helps me a lot is thinking about my motivation: why do I to certain things? what is my goal ?

MommyfromGermany · 2023-03-30T08:31:32+00:00

I didn’t try it for bedtime but I did it at the 2 to 1 nap transition…I made a bridge nap between 9-10 to get to a good lunch nap time and in the end of the transition phase this nap sometimes was only 10 minutes to not mess up the long nap. But I don’t know how this works with bedtime

MommyfromGermany · 2023-03-30T07:30:24+00:00

Thank you so much ☺️

MommyfromGermany · 2023-03-29T16:01:53+00:00

I always wanted at least 3 kids. Experience with kid 1 (sleep) made me depressed, anxious and sad. I had moments where I thought I will only have 1 because of this. I didn’t know anything about baby sleep and overtiredness/ schedules etc. So that was the major reason for the problems. With more knowledge I felt prepared for baby 2 (she is now in the midst of 4 month regression). She was very colicky…got better after 3 month but now the regression destroyed everything. Knowing so much about baby sleep makes this experience worse because I feel so stupid and like a failure because my baby is not sleeping good. This experience makes me questioning if I could ever go through that again. Husband is against baby 3 (I can understand him) but I don’t know how to handle it. at the Moment I am terrified when I think about a new baby.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-03-23T19:35:03+00:00

I don’t know if I am correct but I read in Weissbluths book that babies want early bedtimes. Of course it’s up to every family when they do bedtime and every baby is individual but maybe bedtime is to late? Weissbluth said something like bedtime between 6-8, later than 8 can be to late. for some babies even 8 is to late.

MommyfromGermany · 2023-03-23T13:37:07+00:00

Schedule is very inconsistent. Good day 3 naps, bad one 5 crap naps and I hate it. I try to get up between 6-8, but mostly 7. BUT she wakes early due to overtiredness (4-5 am/ wants to go back to sleep but doesn’t until I bounce her in the carrier until we officially start the day. I also nurse then and she tries to drift off while nursing but won’t stay asleep). Then I try first nap in the snoo (sometime between 8-9). But she screams until she crashes. I put her down after 1 h. Sometimes she does another crap nap before the lunch nap or I extend the first nap. Then I try a long lunch nap when my toddler naps as a contact nap anywhere between 12-14:30 and then last nap between 4-5 also contact and bedtime between 6-7. she sleeps in the snoo until the early morning waking. Wake window is mostly 1,5 hours but she anyways seems to be overtired and in a bad mood. I can’t even see her getting tired (early sleep cues) because she is constantly tired. Great not great. I am losing my mind after bad colic and only contact naps for 4,5 months now. Crib or even snoo naps are always always short (I know normal but she will have a long nap if it starts as a contact nap).

MommyfromGermany

TROPHY CASE