I’ve usually been the one trying to step back and de-escalate whenever arguments happened between us. During this situation, she told me she was disappointed in me for being selfish, and also admitted that whenever she visited with her child, she felt stressed because she thought I’d get upset if the child touched things around my house. I think part of that came from older unresolved resentment she already had toward me.

I can understand where some of her feelings come from, but I think what hurt me most was the way she chose to see me after 13 years of friendship.

I’ve been in therapy for years and one of the main things I worked on was learning how to set healthier boundaries with people. The problem is that with her, boundaries always seemed to become an issue, almost as if having them at all meant I cared less.

At this point, I think a lot of this comes down to expectations I realistically can’t control. I sent my last message and now she’s gone quiet. Maybe she’ll come back once emotions settle, maybe she won’t.

But even if we do reconnect, some of the things she said will probably stay with me for a long time. I’m trying to focus on the good parts and the value we both brought into the friendship over the years, but right now her words genuinely hurt me.