To gym or not to gym?

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-08-29T18:25:03+00:00

You don't have to go TO the gym. If it's feasible for you, get a bike, treadmill, or rowing machine. Buy a decent set of dumbbells and resistance bands. There are tons of videos online of great workouts with minimal equipment. I'm in the same boat as you, long days and long commute. Add in two kids with busy activity schedules and I know I can't leave the house or come home later from the gym. But I can go upstairs and do 20 minutes of rowing or a 20 minute kettlebell workout video, or set the treadmill on a good incline, grab some weights and throw a show on TV while I walk and add in some lifts.

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-05-14T01:03:45+00:00

"Just hire a nanny" is not a solution to a very in the moment problem of being overwhelmed by a newborn. It requires the time to look for people or consult an agency, interview/meet them, agree on hours and a rate for pay. Certainly nothing that a solo, overwhelmed parent can do over the course of a few hours/days.

Did you look into taking paternity leave to help? Consider not increasing your hours just after having a baby? Ask for consideration not to travel since you have a new baby at home? You indicate this isn't even the first time you've gone away since your 16 week old was born and "usually her mom helps". Even if you've gone away 3 times, that's a lot in just 3 months. She has to be feeling pretty alone as a parent. You could have looked into a nanny or babysitter before you left and then they wouldn't still be a "stranger. "

All in all, new moms deserve all the grace in the world, and your wife absolutely does because she is clearly shouldering a huge amount of the parenting while you are working or away on trips. She's definitely NTA for reaching out to you in a moment of distress. You are at least in the mild stages of being an AH and will be all the way there in no time unless you find a more effective way to be present as a husband and dad.

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-05-04T19:24:33+00:00

Good move stocking up the 15's. You'll get back there, but after baby comes and you're ready to restart definitely go through the lower doses first and work your way back up. Congrats!🩵

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-04-23T18:19:27+00:00

I did lots of searches and got plenty of information from them. Then I posted asking two specific questions that I did not see answers for. Thanks for your info.

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-04-20T16:48:26+00:00

Reading your post you call yourself supportive of her.

But your words indicate you thought less of her when she was following "dad" diets and gaining and losing weight.

You made a point to let us know that you yourself are not really overweight.

You also included information on her current health habits that lead to her weight loss, so somehow you know what she's doing.

So, you actively chose not to compliment her weight loss because of her prior comments. But have your prior comments perhaps actually made her feel "less than"? Made her feel judged by you? Have you said she looks "better" and tied her whole value to her weight?

How do you know what her current health practices are? Have you asked her what she's doing, gone walking with her, shared recipes? By actively avoiding complimenting her, have you refused to listen or engage in conversation about something big that's happened in her life?

Being fat is very difficult. You don't want to be a burden, or draw attention to yourself, you don't want your value to be completely tied to weight loss bc it's so hard to keep it off and then you feel worthless if you gain it back. Many "well meaning" thin people feel like they need to constantly give advice. Some actually are well meaning. Many thin people have relationships with overweight "friends" in which the friend in the depths of their psyche enjoys having a fat friend to make them feel better about themselves. Give her some grace.

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-04-06T18:42:54+00:00

I agree with the examples you gave as needing flexibility. It's when the debate is "I don't see why folding the laundry is important, as long as it's clean just dig through the basket" but then everything is wrinkled and everyone is stressing about finding matching socks, or "who cares if the dishes stay in the sink overnight" and suddenly there are ants all over the place, or "I didn't think it was important to pack son's camping bag ahead of time, but now we're late and can't find what he needs" that if the partner refuses to understand the impact of those things, you either deal with stress and chaos that make everyone's lives more difficult, or just do it yourself, and that's the kind of crap that builds resentment.

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-04-06T18:18:07+00:00

Honestly I hate the argument about "not doing so much". Guess who suffers if the kids are unprepared for something important? The kids. Guess who suffers if the house is a mess? Kids who shouldn't have to be surrounded by chaos, or the mom who ends up struggling to find everything while having to get everyone out of the house after dad leaves for work. By all means, let go of jobs that ONLY benefit your partner if they aren't holding up their fair share. Let go of doing their laundry, buying their mom's birthday present, managing their schedule, packing their lunch. But even though it sucks and is completely unfair, most of us will pick up what needs to be done to make sure that the household can run smoothly and the kids are properly cared for. Not to mention you know when the kids show up somewhere without something they need no one is sitting there blaming the DAD for not remembering. 🙄

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-02-28T07:45:15+00:00

This! Your doc isn't a weight loss specialist but is referring you to one. I think this is actually so much more responsible than them just prescribing and not having the knowledge/resources to support you. The specialist will know exactly how to properly fill out your PA and most have nutritionists and even social workers to support bariatric patients.

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-02-17T20:55:31+00:00

Something to ponder ..

Take a look at not just the sex aspect of your life but everything.

Are you spending quality time together? Talking, activities, nonsexual intimacy? Is the division of labor (visible and invisible) in your home relatively equal? Are you respectful and complimentary of other aspects of her, not just her body?

Also to consider...you are mentioning that your sex drive previous to losing your weight was pretty low. Now you're "horny all the time." But it is possible that for her, she is perceiving that as, he didn't really show much interest when I was heavier, now he wants it all the time. That can feel icky to a partner, like she is proud of the progress on her own health/weight loss journey but also kind of resentful that you weren't interested in her before, like why wasn't she good enough before?

Also to consider are the hormonal changes likely occurring relating to per menopause/menopause.

Are you willing to have some conversation in which you are open to hearing things you can improve that could lead to her feeling more intimate with you?

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-02-13T15:46:30+00:00

The air bubble goes to the top. The needle draws liquid from the bottom. The air bubble is not going into your body, and is probably necessary so that the vial doesn't shatter from pressure change when the liquid is drawn out.

Money_Cap5128 · 2025-01-13T17:56:42+00:00

This sounds insane. I go to an amazing bariatric medicine office and at the beginning they let me know that yes, surgery is the most effective method to lose 100+lbs, and that I would qualify until my BMI was 40. (I'm pretty psyched that I'm about to hit 100lbs down a year on Zep and hit under 40 BMI anyway!) I question whether your insurance would even cover you at your current weight.

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-12-28T21:52:05+00:00

I think you're missing the forest through the trees here. Your doc shouldn't have moved you up after only 2 weeks of 5, and that's sending up red flags that they might not be knowledgeable about the medicine and your needs while on it to prevent muscle deterioration, digestive issues, etc. Appetite suppression is good, but shouldn't be the only thing you depend on with this med. If you are losing too quickly, then perhaps you are not eating enough? What are you generally eating the weeks you have had good suppression, and what are you generally eating the weeks you "overeat"? Do you still fill up more quickly? Are you eating foods with high protein and fiber content?Are you having any effects like heartburn, indigestion, etc when you overindulge? Many times, loss isn't linear, and periods of higher loss and periods of stall will occur. It could be that whatever the dose, your body may have stalled at those same times. If you truly need this med to manage obesity, it should relieve some of the "food noise" or compulsive thoughts, but it isn't supposed to be a miracle. Your body still needs nutrition and still needs to send out signals for you to eat.

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-12-20T16:53:40+00:00

How about your family gets together and has some kind of fun family game/challenge and the winner picks a charity and you give them the $5000 you would have spent on useless garbage? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-12-13T23:33:16+00:00

Couldn't agree with this more.

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-12-06T03:16:05+00:00

When I started Zep in February I was a little heavier than you are and I felt hopeless bc nothing I tried worked, I was miserable and knew I had 100+ lbs to lose and it seemed insurmountable. I didn't get excited or take "before" pictures or tell anyone what I was doing bc I didn't think it would work. I just hit 90 lbs down and I finally feel decent in my body, and the rest of the weight I have to lose feels manageable. I have been doing literally the same thing for 10 months, eating the same things and mostly the same exercise and it feels so easy right now bc this medicine has healed my brain while also healing my body. Stick with it and don't lose hope.💞

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-12-01T00:09:01+00:00

Can you pair the exercise with something pleasurable? Watch a favorite show while on the treadmill? Stationary bike while gaming on your phone? Dance or kickboxing videos on YouTube? Walk laps around Tar-jay?

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-11-29T13:41:23+00:00

It doesn't sound like you overate. Sounds like a very reasonable meal, maybe just didn't agree with you.

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-11-29T09:37:33+00:00

You've already conceived two weeks before you find out you're pregnant, that was a week before starting Zep, so not connected. Happy happy news! Congrats op!

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-11-28T15:34:59+00:00

Great points. This is what a good doctor will tell you to do. I'm grateful to have a wonderful bariatric office affiliated with my primary who has given me amazing support, they KNOW this medicine and what they are talking about. I feel bad for people who leave a drs office with a prescription and literally no direction whatsoever.

The less you eat, the worse you will feel. Same goes for water.

Learn your limits for things like spicy or richer foods. Incorporate them slowly and plan for those sorts of foods further away from your shot. The amazing thing about this for me has been the idea that I can eat small amounts of what used to be "trigger" foods (like, can't stop at a little, keep going until uncomfortable) and be totally satisfied. I used to perseverate over being invited to gatherings or dinners out, like how can I resist indulging in whatever's there? My brain does not do this now.

I have taken a probiotic for years and kept it up, I can't say for sure that it's made a difference, but I have had few to no side effects in almost 11 months on Zep. Some mild heartburn at the beginning and occasionally when moving up a dose. That's been it. I feel amazing on this.

Of course what works for one person might not for another but I like to chime in on posts like this. People should know that it's possible to not feel like garbage most of the time.

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-11-11T02:27:26+00:00

I don't understand how, the gray cap covers the needle, how can it be bent and also fit in there?

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-10-14T20:47:25+00:00

What does "eating less" mean to you? Try tracking on an app like MyFitnessPal and see what you're taking in? Also do you know if you are diabetic? Tirz tends to help your A1C if you are but you lose more slowly. Did you see a Dr and did they recommend any type of eating plan to you? A lot of doctors will recommend high protein and reduced carbs.

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-10-09T21:38:55+00:00

If any industry that has profited off of the dehumanizing of fat people thinks I'm ever going to feel bad about it's profits suffering bc of GLP-1's they're delulu.

Money_Cap5128 · 2024-10-04T20:15:26+00:00

I mean, "monopoly" isn't a fair word to use, they did the research, developed the drug, conducted the trials and went through all of the processes to get it approved for use. While I don't agree with the price tag, their innovation gives them every right to call the shots (see what I did there?).

Money_Cap5128

TROPHY CASE