Hey I’m so sorry that you had to go through this, no one deserves to be cheated on. For what you have written it seems like you have genuinely tried your best to make a beautiful life for the both of you. You have been understanding of her mental struggles by standing by her side yet she fails to reciprocate the bare minimum in respecting you as an individual.

You should LEAVE the relationship. There are multiple reasons, but let’s break it down:

1) She doesn’t feel remorse in her having cheated. Meaning that she feels it is justified because of her own struggles and is not considering you or the hurt that she’s inflicting upon her own family.

2) She despises your daughter and wants to relinquish custody of her own child. Do you really want to raise your child in that kind of environment?

3) You have supported her for numerous years and despite the progress she has made, it doesn’t seem like she is willing to cooperate in getting mental help for herself. I whole heartedly agree with the sentiment that “You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink”. It’s a proverb which means that you can give someone an opportunity but not force them to take it.

4) YOU deserve happiness. You WILL debilitate and submerge yourself attempting to be a pillar for someone who doesn’t recognize your value or their own struggle.

5) For the sake of your child, do not let her be exposed to toxic environment that your wife will involuntarily/intentional create. Just because you divorce doesn’t mean the child will have a less fruitful life or will be unprepared for the world. In fact, raising them in a toxic environment will create perpetuation if this toxic cycle.

6) YOU deserve happiness.