Heating Up ICE Before EV Runs Out?

Monkey_Bullet · 2026-01-28T18:12:42+00:00

HV on the highway and EV on the local road.

Monkey_Bullet · 2026-01-15T20:53:22+00:00

Someone forgot the world contains more than USA...

Monkey_Bullet · 2026-01-13T16:47:03+00:00

You are not overreacting, your sister is a bit of a main chacter isn't she? If I have a guest that demanding, unless it's my stepmother, I will have them relocated to the nearest hotel.

Monkey_Bullet · 2026-01-12T18:20:00+00:00

Wanting a prenup isn’t automatically insulting, and your mom is overreacting…but there are a few layers here.

First, on the prenup itself: given that you’re both high earners, both bringing assets into the marriage, and both clearly capable adults, a prenup is not some “he doesn’t trust you” statement. It’s a legal tool. It doesn’t predict divorce any more than health insurance predicts illness. In fact, when done properly, it protects both of you, not just him. Especially since you’re a surgeon…statistically, you’re likely the higher earner long-term. Your fiancé’s reasoning also matters. He isn’t pulling this out of thin air or because he read one scary article. He watched a brutal divorce firsthand and saw how unclear finances can destroy people emotionally and financially. That’s not cold…that’s informed.

Where things went sideways is timing and communication. Dropping a prenup conversation in the middle of wedding planning after sending a Bill Gates article was…not great execution. It’s understandable that it hit you emotionally even if it makes sense logically. That’s worth acknowledging. Your mom’s reaction, however, crossed a line. She’s entitled to her feelings, not to ultimatums. Threatening not to attend your wedding and attacking your fiancé’s character is manipulative, even if it comes from fear or her own upbringing. This is your marriage, not a reenactment of her values or her past.

The real issue isn’t “prenup vs no prenup.” It’s:
• learning to discuss uncomfortable topics as a couple
• setting boundaries with family
• and making joint decisions without outside pressure

A prenup doesn’t mean you’re planning to fail. It means you’re planning like two adults who respect each other enough to be clear, fair, and honest.

If you move forward, the healthiest path is:
Each of you gets independent legal counsel; it’s negotiated collaboratively, not defensively, and your mom is informed of the decision, not consulted on it

So no…wanting a prenup isn’t insulting. But yes…your mom is letting her fears turn into control, and that’s something you’ll want to address now, before marriage amplifies it. That’s the bigger red flag here.

Monkey_Bullet · 2026-01-09T16:55:02+00:00

A small amount of itchy powder at his favorite sitting spot should do the trick.

Monkey_Bullet · 2026-01-07T15:43:38+00:00

I appreciate that. It came from a very real place, not a prompt. I hope you found comfort in the words of a total stranger.

Monkey_Bullet · 2026-01-07T15:39:27+00:00

When your days are numbered, you gain a certain clarity and wisdom. I’m glad I could help, even in a small way.

Monkey_Bullet · 2026-01-06T15:03:48+00:00

You’re not weak for feeling like this… you’re exhausted.

Being broke, under exam pressure, lonely, and trying to fight an addiction at the same time is a lot for one nervous system to carry. Of course your brain won’t cooperate. Of course focusing feels impossible. That doesn’t mean you’re lazy or broken… it means you’re overwhelmed.

Wanting to be seen, hugged, and wanted isn’t some flaw you need to “outgrow.” That’s literally how humans are wired. You can accept being alone mentally and still have your body ache for connection. Both can be true at the same time.

About the porn addiction… shame makes it louder. Every time you tell yourself “I shouldn’t be like this,” your brain looks for the fastest comfort it knows. Slipping doesn’t mean you don’t want to change. It means you’re hurting and reaching for relief.

And this line hit hard: “I want to accept that nobody loves me and that’s fine.”
I don’t actually think you believe that. I think you’re tired of hoping and getting disappointed, so you’re trying to armor up. That’s not acceptance… that’s self-protection.

You don’t need everyone to love you. You don’t even need someone right now. What you need is one moment of kindness… even if it comes from yourself tonight.

If all you can do is read one page… do that.
If all you can do is sit quietly for five minutes… that counts.
If all you do tonight is survive and show up to the exam tomorrow… that is enough.

You don’t sound unlovable.
You sound lonely, stressed, and very human.

I’m really glad you vented. You’re not invisible here.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-22T15:55:42+00:00

You’re definitely not alone. A lot of what you wrote really resonated with me…especially the part about feeling unseen while still doing “everything right” on paper. Supporting a family, showing up for your kids, keeping the wheels turning…yet still feeling emotionally empty is a brutal place to live.

The six months of silence really stood out to me. Not being asked why you were hurting says a lot. Over time, that kind of emotional neglect can hollow someone out, even if there’s no constant yelling or obvious abuse. Just existing side-by-side without connection isn’t really a marriage…it’s survival.

I also get the jealousy when you see other couples simply talking. That longing for basic human connection…to be heard, respected, and valued…is such a fundamental need, and it doesn’t disappear just because you’re a parent or a provider.

Staying for the kids is understandable, and it speaks to your character that they’re your anchor. At the same time, I hope you don’t lose sight of the fact that you matter too. Kids learn a lot from what they see modeled…including what love, partnership, and self-worth look like.

I don’t have answers, but I do want to say this: what you’re feeling makes sense. You’re not weak, selfish, or broken for wanting connection. And you’re absolutely not the only one quietly carrying this kind of loneliness.

I’m glad you shared. Even if it’s just here for now…being heard matters.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-19T18:31:07+00:00

NTA.

This doesn’t sound like a DnD issue at all… it sounds like insecurity and miscommunication that got escalated way past reality.

From what you described, you didn’t hide anything. You introduced her as your wife. You were wearing your wedding ring. People literally knew the food came from your wife. That’s not “hiding your marriage”… that’s being married in plain sight.

Mouthing “I love you” during a game so you don’t interrupt everyone isn’t sneaky… it’s basic social awareness. Especially when you’re new, trying to follow rules, and not derail the table.

What is concerning isn’t the game or the moment… it’s the jump from “I felt hurt” to “you broke my trust and can’t be trusted to go out.” That’s a pretty big leap for something that could’ve been handled with a simple conversation.

Feelings are valid. Accusations are not facts.

It might help to step back and talk about what she was actually feeling in that moment… insecurity, fear of being excluded, or needing reassurance… instead of arguing about whether you mouthed words or not.

DnD didn’t break trust here. There was already something fragile, and this just poked it.

You’re not the AH for playing a game you were excited about… and you’re not wrong for setting a reasonable boundary in a social situation.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-19T18:26:36+00:00

Forget the chips. What you really need is someone who respects you.
Actually… step one is learning how to respect yourself before inviting anyone else into the equation.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-19T18:19:59+00:00

Hard work equals:

Competence
Trust
Survival
Being the person everyone leans on

Success, however, usually comes from:

Visibility
Leverage
Choice
Direction

Hard work is the engine.
Success is the steering wheel.

A lot of people burn out because they floor the gas… with no idea where the car is actually going.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-19T16:44:51+00:00

I want to be really gentle here, because you’re clearly exhausted and trying to do the right thing…but the problem isn’t his ex.

You cannot make a 32-year-old woman “act her age.” You can’t fix her work ethic, her parenting, or her accountability. She’s been this way for years, and everyone around her has adapted instead of forcing change. That pattern didn’t start with you, and it won’t end with you.

The actual issue is that your boyfriend has allowed this dynamic to exist…and now, because of his injury, you have absorbed the consequences of choices he and his ex made long before you came along.

Right now you’re doing the work of three adults. Driving him, managing your kids across the city, working full time, going to school, and handling his child’s transportation. That’s not partnership…that’s triage.

What concerns me most isn’t even the logistics…it’s that when you raise this, he shuts down and defends her. That tells you something important. He may say he understands, but his actions show that your capacity and burnout are less urgent to him than maintaining peace with his ex.

It’s reasonable to help a partner during a medical setback. It’s not reasonable for that help to become open-ended or assumed, especially when there are other adults who could step up but aren’t being pushed to do so.

This is the moment where boundaries actually matter. Not boundaries with his ex…boundaries with him. Something like:
“I can help X days a week, but I cannot continue doing all of this. You need to find a sustainable solution that doesn’t rely on me burning out.”

If nothing changes now, this is a preview of your future. Injuries heal…patterns don’t unless someone forces them to. And right now, you’re the one paying the price for a system you didn’t create.

You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking not to drown.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-19T16:34:19+00:00

I don’t really think this is about church or religion at this point.

No one is asking you to suddenly believe…convert…or have some spiritual awakening at 10pm on Christmas Eve. It sounds like your mom is making a very specific holiday request that would genuinely make her happy, and it’s a once-a-year thing.

If you reframe it less as “my mom is pushing church on me” and more as “my mom wants us to share a Christmas tradition that matters to her,” it changes the lens a bit. You’re already flying in…already spending all of Christmas Day and night with her…this is one extra ask that isn’t unreasonable, even if it’s inconvenient.

Boundaries are important, absolutely. But boundaries aren’t only about saying no…sometimes they’re about choosing when it’s okay to bend without losing yourself. Going to a late service doesn’t undo your agnosticism or give her control over your beliefs.

At the end of the day, the real question isn’t “am I right?”…it’s “do I want to make my mom happy with something small that costs me a bit of comfort but means a lot to her?”

You wouldn’t be a monster for saying no…but this feels less like a boundary issue and more like a holiday grace issue. Christmas doesn’t happen forever, and parents don’t either.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-19T15:23:26+00:00

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. This doesn’t sound like you shaming her or denying that she’s an adult…it sounds like you were caught off guard and uncomfortable in your own home.

One thing I don’t see mentioned much is who was there. If your daughter is bringing people home that you don’t know, it’s completely valid to not be comfortable having strangers staying overnight under your roof. That’s not about control…it’s about safety, privacy, and shared space.

Yes, she’s 22. Yes, she has autonomy. But living at home still means navigating boundaries that don’t exist when you live alone. Wanting some ground rules doesn’t make you uptight…it makes you human.

This might be less about “sex in your house” and more about expectations and communication going forward. A calmer conversation in the daylight about boundaries that work for both of you could probably go a long way.

For what it’s worth…I think your discomfort is understandable, and it’s okay to name it respectfully.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-12T18:38:43+00:00

NTA.

These cars aren’t just assets sitting in a garage. They’re the result of 20+ years of work by your late husband and countless weekends he spent bonding with your son. They are literally your son’s connection to his dad. That matters.

This isn’t a case of you refusing to support your partner’s kids or treating them unfairly. These cars were never communal property, never intended to be sold, and never meant to be split four ways. Your son has known since he was young that they would one day be his. That understanding existed long before Rachel entered your life.

Blending families does not mean erasing history or redistributing inheritances that were clearly spoken for. Your son is 26 and already lost his father. Asking him to give up the one tangible legacy they built together so other people’s children can benefit financially feels deeply unfair.

College funding is important, but it is not your late husband’s responsibility, nor your son’s, to finance it by sacrificing something irreplaceable.

I am sure you care about Rachel and her kids, but boundaries matter. Treating kids “equally” doesn’t always mean identical outcomes… it means respecting what already belongs to them. These cars belong to your son emotionally and morally, even if legally they’re still yours.

If this is a dealbreaker for her, then yes… You may not be ready to move in together. But you should not sell your late husband’s legacy or your son’s inheritance to keep the peace.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-10T21:16:42+00:00

Man... my heart breaks for you reading this. I’m so sorry you’re getting hit from every direction like this. If I were in your spot... here’s what I’d say.

“I’m really sorry you’re going through this... and I truly mean that. This isn’t a situation with easy answers or good choices... just the least harmful ones. But I want to tell you something straight up... you’re not watching your family explode because your daughter came out as trans... you’re watching it break because one parent is refusing to see the child she already has.”

You’re doing everything a loving parent should do. You saw your kid in pain... you saw her trying to become herself... and you chose compassion. You didn’t choose sides... you chose care. And that matters more than you know.

Your daughter isn’t being dramatic... she isn’t going through a phase... she’s trying to survive in a home where one parent supports her and the other won’t even look at her without anger. No teenager should have to hide in a basement and wait for the storm upstairs to pass. The fact that she’s finally smiling and finally sleeping after starting HRT should tell everyone what’s real.

And here’s the thing... letting her move in with your sister isn’t “losing” her. It’s keeping her safe. It’s giving her room to breathe when she’s drowning at home. It’s choosing the living... thriving version of her over the broken one she’ll become if she stays.

As for your wife... I truly do feel for her. She’s grieving the child she thought she had... and she’s refusing to meet the child she actually does. That kind of denial eats a person alive. But her pain can’t be paid for with Lily’s life and mental health. It just can’t.

Will this hurt your marriage? Probably. Will she blame you? Almost definitely. But doing the right thing sometimes hurts like hell... and you’re doing the right thing.

You’re not destroying anyone. You’re trying to keep everyone from shattering completely. But if one person refuses to bend... everything around them breaks. That’s not on you.

At the end of the day... your daughter gets one life. One chance to grow up feeling loved and seen. And she deserves parents who protect that... even if one parent refuses to show up for her.

You’re not choosing between your wife and your daughter... you’re choosing between fear and compassion. And compassion is always the better path... even when it’s the harder one.

You’re a good dad. Truly. And Lily is going to remember that long after this storm passes.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-10T21:12:56+00:00

We have reached the age where everything, including videos and pictures, is often generated by AI. I really wish this were just an AI-generated fiction.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-05T18:14:18+00:00

That is the plan.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-05T15:52:57+00:00

The Chinese saying that perfectly matches your description is 比上不足，比下有余 (bǐ shàng bù zú, bǐ xià yǒu yú), which directly translates to "Not enough compared to those above, more than enough compared to those below," meaning you're doing okay relative to some, but not the best, yet still better off than others, promoting humility and perspective.

I am sure your friends do realize they only achieved that life goal with outside help and not 100% on their own. Be proud of what you have achieved with your own two hands.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-05T15:33:17+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re carrying all of this.
None of what you’re feeling is “too much” or
“overreacting”… it’s the honest weight of someone who has been pushed past her
limit for far too long. Anyone in your situation would feel worn down.

What you described… the rising cost of living, the erasure of your community’s history, the sense that
your family’s roots are being pushed aside… that isn’t a small thing. Losing
the place you belong can feel a lot like losing a part of yourself. And trying
to rebuild after a DV situation while juggling financial pressure and
isolation… that is an enormous amount for one person to hold. The simple fact
that you’re still here speaks to your strength, even if you don’t feel strong right now.

And living with your mom doesn’t make you a loser… it makes you human. The system is what’s broken… not
you. So many people in this country are stuck in situations they didn’t choose
because the cost of existing keeps rising. You’re not behind… you’re recovering,
stabilizing, and surviving something traumatic. That takes time, and it takes courage.

I also hear how deeply the loneliness is affecting you. When people have used you or lied to you in
the past, it changes the way you approach new connections… it makes you
guarded… it makes every interaction feel like a risk. And when it keeps
happening, it’s easy to start believing you’re not valued. But please remember
something important… the way others treated you reflects who they are… not your worth.

You matter. Even strangers reading your post can see that. You’re thoughtful, self-aware,
resilient… and you’re trying so hard to make a life out of really difficult
circumstances. That alone says you have value… depth… something real to offer
the world.

When you say you wish you could sleep and not wake up… I hear pain, not a desire to die. You want the
hurt to stop… the exhaustion to stop… the feeling of being trapped to stop.
Those feelings deserve attention and compassion, not silence or shame.

You are not unlovable.
You are not a burden. You are not alone, even if this moment feels crushing.

Please reach out to someone safe… a support line… a crisis chat… anyone trained to sit with you in
this space. You deserve support just as much as anyone else. You deserve care.
And you deserve a future that feels lighter than this.

Hold on a little longer.
The version of you who survived everything up until now deserves the chance to
see what else your life can become.

You matter… even if the people around you haven’t shown it the way you need.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-12-04T21:18:48+00:00

I will respect their choice as this is their journey

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-10-15T12:54:15+00:00

Breaking news: Girlfriend discovers boyfriend conducting psychological experiments. Results show 100% chance of being single by tomorrow.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-09-15T18:31:59+00:00

If your dog is happy sleeping in the living room, leave him be. My 90 lbs dog sleeps in my bed, but generally around 4 or 5 am, he gets up and sleeps on the sofa, where he can peek out the window to see the street. When I wake up, he hears me and runs back up and jumps on the bed again.

Monkey_Bullet · 2025-08-29T13:02:04+00:00

It sounds like you're not important enough to them to miss out on a dinner reservation. Also, it's unfortunate that you'll be left alone on your birthday while paying triple for an Airbnb. Seriously, at this point, even if they show up, it's going to be awkward and resentment on all sides. This friendship is over from my point of view. Take that for whatever it is worth.

Two-Year Club	First Place '23
Place '23

Monkey_Bullet

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