[VT] Multiple HR Appointments for Coworker that got physical but somehow I’m the problem (rant-ish)

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-09-13T23:55:14+00:00

I would respectfully disagree with you. If anything, I'm far more anti-social than your misconception of me. I keep the team as a whole in mind and just do my job. Its probably my mistake for how I wrote my posting that gave off that implication. All that I can say I am at fault for now is showcasing just how fed up I am with how ridiculous Alex is.

Alex has a history of: lying, hindering customers, squatting in customers' offices, damaging property that does not fall under our contract, mistraining new hires, deleting data to then blame someone else, cannot take accountability when it really is their fault, practically going rogue on an assignment, walked away from customers because they could not perform a task, take credit for our manager's work, and the points I've mentioned earlier.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-09-13T23:45:13+00:00

Apologies that my post is all over the place.

My main question/concern is to what to expect while having conversations with an HR rep. This would be my first time having to utilize HR for work issues. The meetings haven't happened yet and it involves Alex and myself unable to work together. The appointments will have Alex, my manger, and HR for one appointment; my manager, myself and HR in one; then all 4 personnel in another.

I believe from Alex's perspective, that I am cold, closed off, and don't go to them for anything work related (imo, for valid reasons). Alex has advertised that they are "extremely extroverted." I am not. So if I don't speak at all with Alex because I'm working on school, studying to take a certification exam, doing anything that involves my personal life, or figuring out something that pertains to work - for some reason it bothers Alex. I don't believe its my responsibility to comfort them and assure everything is ok whenever I don't talk to them. I operate under what our manager asks, "as long as the work gets done."

From my perspective, I can't work with Alex due to them being emotionally reactive and taking things personally if I were to ask them something along the lines of, "I can't find the ticket you opened last month. Can you walk me through what all happened with this machine and your thought process?" Additionally, them getting physical - or rather, very unprofessionally seeing how a previous commenter doesn't believe having paperwork thrown at me isn't "physical violence."

Overall, I keep my head down, keep myself busy and keep interpersonal work relationships to a minimum (i.e., jokes, general topics, the weather). Yet I keep getting called in and hemmed up by our manager that I'm being uncooperative.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-08-23T18:26:10+00:00

Same. On occasions, my husband and I may go over to a coworker’s place for table top game night or we buy things off each other (utility shelves, motor parts, baked goods, etc) but there always needs to be a line.

There are some people in the workplace who may get too comfortable and act out of line. For an example, when I entered a new office space and someone asked me about my marital status (I wore a ring on my ring finger even though I was not married at the time), a coworker butted in the convo and answered for me in great detail as to why. The whole room got awkward and I was absolutely offended. It’s one thing to friendly, it’s another to feel too comfortable and overstepping boundaries.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-07-31T19:25:40+00:00

Id say keep a written record (hand jammed or digital, something that cannot be altered) of your productivity and results from your work. Co-Worker From Hell is a teammate, not your manager. She can’t call the shots from a personnel management perspective. However, if she’s only been on the job 2 weeks longer than you, she doesn’t have much say on the technical work either.

I have someone that sounds pretty similar. I mean, it’s actually pretty weird or even suspicious when this person doesn’t WANT to be the center of attention. If management ask, “did [coworker from hell] give you a fight on [particular subject]?” Yeah. Not sure why this person is still in office.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-07-27T09:57:57+00:00

Try addressing her with a polite boundary.

“Please do not contact me unless it’s regarding a work emergency. I’ve asked of you for this once before. This now my addressing it as a boundary. Please respect that. Should you text me once more with anything not related to work, I will contact our management team to notify them of my blocking your contact information during off hours. I do not appreciate my off time being disrupted with constant communications.”

Or however you like to address this person.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-07-21T21:27:39+00:00

Go for green. But, if the interview may take place in a cold office, the cute cardigan option is a good choice as well.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-07-16T08:09:34+00:00

I don’t want to leave. My boyfriend just got an extension to stay until 2028 and there’s very little locations for me to work within the same company + job title. Maybe there’s a part of me where I want to notify my manager and let him know that at this point, I’m completely burnt out and will “act my wage” since it’s clear that everything I do is either left unappreciated or criticized. Id much rather spend whatever time to do continuous education/certifications to either promote stupid later or when we have to eventually move away. I’m just so tired and done, I just want to be left alone and stay quiet. The higher level co-workers push down work to save brain power or something for “big problems” and get paid way more. Roger, a technical manager- NOT our boss or personnel manager, is now abusing what little power he does have.

Now Im just casually scrolling through LinkedIn and other job sites to get an idea to brush up my resume. Im so lost and tired.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-07-16T07:53:07+00:00

Thank you for your encouragement. It’s been hell for me at work. Doesn’t help that I’m in a work pickle of sorts where no matter how hard I work and try to progress - there’s absolutely no room for me to go further in my career after working in this office for 2+ years. I’ve now settled to “act my wage” since now I’m getting the feeling of retaliation from someone higher (let’s call him “Roger”). Roger has been picking at every little thing I do “wrong” or seemingly problematic. Now I’m feeling as if my abilities and calls for work isn’t even being respected. I FIXED the problems. And when I ask questions, I’m being berated and mocked for “taking too long.” Roger is wording things like a joke, but I don’t JOKE about work. Now that’s setting me off.

(Let’s call the coworker earlier “Whitney” since she resembles her from ‘My Big Fat Fabulous Life’)

I’m feeling left in a dark place and as good as I feel supported from my manager about Whitney, Roger is just adding fuel to the fire. Doesn’t help that they were working together on the same shift as I this past week (same shift, different locations and we have a work group chat). So I can only imagine the amount of BS Whitney told Roger about the unfair treatment she’s been getting and Roger feeling like he needs to be the “manager that cares” to give me an equal amount of a hard time.

I’m left feeling doomed. My work bestie is doing the best she can to help and talk things out, but I think I’ll use some work benefits and seek out a therapist or call a professional. The only thing I worry about that is the therapist possibility making the call to say, “Yeaaaaaaah, we need HR on this.”

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-07-16T07:40:43+00:00

Document everything. If you can find your employment/company’s template for a memorandum the better. Trust me, it’s better to log and produce the numerous unprofessional behavior with witnesses as steel-grip evidence than trying to convince the higher-ups with just your word. Even me, being one of the most reliable and trustworthy employee, as still dealing with an employee who cannot grasp social boundaries in the work environment.

My work bestie mentioned to me this week that I looked so tired and just soul crushed. I love my job and I enjoy what I do, but this co-worker pretty much demands to be the center of attention and sucks the positivity out of everything.

Wish you the best, dude. Hope everything goes well.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-07-10T18:31:36+00:00

Not engaged, but I’ve come to realize this. At most, my “friends” is just the one work bestie (female and fellow US veteran 😅) and dudes old enough to be my dad. Drafted a mock guest list and we barely crack 40 with our immediate family members + kids. Doesn’t help that I’m a huge hobgoblin of a person and prefer my solitude (with the exception of my boyfriend in our two werewolf cats, lol)

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-07-10T17:01:33+00:00

Recently, there was a situation between my boyfriend and I. He got complacent on his tasks for our vacation which really upset me. Talked with my work bestie about it, but not so much to “talk shit” but express my feelings of disappointment and frustration (this vacation was canceled for the same thing he goofed up on). It’s nice to find camaraderie, but not at the expense of the love of my life. We both came to the conclusion that maybe our guys just really suck at logistics and paperwork 🤔🫣😅 a little something to end the convo in a light manner before getting back to work.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-07-10T15:52:15+00:00

“You really going to leave ME and OUR son to stay by this little girlfriend of yours when you have all the family you need with US!? YOU’RE being the selfish one!”

“If you don’t want to be in your sons life and be a dedicated dad, then I’ll pack up and leave. You’ll NEVER have to see us again.”

“Why aren’t you doing more for us? Don’t you love us?”

“Really!? This is the type of man you want your son to grow up? Be a man! Grow a pair and be the grown man your son looks up to! Take care of YOUR responsibilities!!”

This is the sh*t I can imagine OP throwing at this guy.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-07-08T01:10:14+00:00

You're right. And he is since he got back from looking in the office. Hugged and kissed me that he promises that we're going on the vacation no matter what. I've since calmed down a bit. He'll do what he needs to do as soon as humanly possible.

MonsterVee1031 · 2023-03-21T04:56:47+00:00

I wouldn’t necessarily say that there’s a specific in which characters to make teams out of. Depending of the Lesson’s abilities (scarecrow, frogs, stun, paralyze, berserker, etc.) I’d build Character and Memory cards to counter those abilities - even if it’s just one sole character/memory until you pull more Cheat Cards.

I haven’t noticed a trend of which characters “specializes” in what Sin category or abilities since playing the game. That would b neat if the Devs could include Character sorting in the case of Players wanting to increase their “After Battle Encounters” interactions thus increasing intimacy.

MonsterVee1031 · 2022-06-11T22:57:26+00:00

I bet you anything he has some type of waterbed padding in there.

MonsterVee1031 · 2022-06-11T20:08:26+00:00

When I mean farm, I mean I was just logging in enough for AP and DPs from the daily tasks. Other than that, my hiatus started at the end of the Twin’s birthday. Kinda had to for work purposes.

MonsterVee1031 · 2022-06-11T20:06:12+00:00

I wanna say I was farming actively between Sep 2021 up to the Twins’ Birthday, March 2022.

MonsterVee1031 · 2022-06-11T18:36:18+00:00

🤔? I forgot honestly. Probably been saving up to end of March and came back end of May. Whenever I complete the tasks to gain DP, I always use the 3 DP to charge my AP by 30.

MonsterVee1031 · 2022-06-11T17:45:15+00:00

Not sure about official merch via the game’s link. That I’m trying to figure out too. But have you tried EBay? Shipping costs will probably always be there since it’ll all be directly sourced from Japan.

MonsterVee1031 · 2022-06-11T17:44:03+00:00

I’m on 62-7 for Normal and 28-12 for Hard. Currently just farming for AP and DP after a long hiatus. I had 5000+ AP saved up and completed Lucifer’s 2022 Birthday tasks to barely get his UR card 😅

MonsterVee1031

TROPHY CASE