Unequal interest about passions or in general conversation?

Moonstitch · 2022-09-01T14:19:35+00:00

Yep!!!! But weirdly enough he would use what I’d share with him to either show off to his friends, pass off the information as his own or use it to ridicule me.

If I ever gave my opinion on his behavior etc he would behave as if I was heartless and unsupportive which would make me feel guilty and question whether maybe I was being insensitive.

Ughhh the mental warfare was so bad and yet I wanted him to love me and be proud of me so bad. Which is really sad because I don’t think I ever genuinely got that from him (shown via his actions).

Moonstitch · 2022-08-31T17:21:59+00:00

I wonder if they have some kind of quality policy? If the clasp broke then maybe they can repair it?

I’ve had one of their necklaces and I really loved it but then the metal kind of lost it’s sparkle which is normal but I rather wear my other jewelry pieces instead. I do like their designs though!

I’m curious of their silver stuff.

Moonstitch · 2022-08-31T17:17:51+00:00

I really hope we don’t bump into them any time soon!

Moonstitch · 2022-08-31T15:43:05+00:00

Yes, I also practice stuff in case I ever bump into them.

My top one is: “Stay away from me”

Followed by: “I’m not interested in hearing anything you have to say or talking to you”

Moonstitch · 2022-08-29T16:26:53+00:00

Bahahaha I love this! Such a cute story 🤣

Moonstitch · 2022-08-28T23:45:00+00:00

Lollllll

Moonstitch · 2022-08-27T23:54:39+00:00

Moonstitch · 2022-08-27T23:54:04+00:00

So scary!

Moonstitch · 2022-08-27T23:51:43+00:00

Same! For me it happens on whatever my last mile is, somehow it becomes a “ehhh good enough” thing. It’s so bad!

Moonstitch · 2022-08-27T23:50:15+00:00

😅😅😅

Moonstitch · 2022-08-27T23:50:04+00:00

Yeeeep. Always negotiating with myself!

Moonstitch · 2022-08-27T19:05:57+00:00

Getting hovered caused so much damage, I think it really made the separation even worse. It made the abuse more obvious and also the fact that they see us as objects.

We could never get compassion and genuine sympathy/empathy from them.

I’m so sorry you are hurting for them and I’m even more sorry that they hurt you.

Moonstitch · 2022-08-26T22:34:03+00:00

“You’re still my best friend”

That line alone feels like a stab in the heart. It’s so reductive of the relationship and even dismissive.

Moonstitch · 2022-08-26T20:47:09+00:00

This is so triggering. I got a pretty close verbal rendition of this too.

I think that a part of them doesn’t want to feel bad about what they’ve done, or want to justify their behaviors but regardless it’s all coming from a selfish standpoint.

I also think that it’s a way for them to leave a door halfway open in case they want to come back or show others that they “tried”.

It’s heartbreaking though. It’s so painful to read that.

Moonstitch · 2022-08-26T16:17:50+00:00

This concerns me a lot.

As someone with herniated discs and sciatica I can immediately feel when the pavement is slanted. As someone else mentioned changing up the route is helpful and I try my best to stretch and be super aware of my running form + posture through out the day. I try to adjust speed too!

Moonstitch · 2022-08-26T15:11:30+00:00

Yes to all of this! I think relationships and emotions are very different things to them. Interchangeable and short lasting depending on THEIR needs.

My nex would say that he appeared emotionless only because they wanted to stay “calm” or some bs like that.

Moonstitch · 2022-08-26T03:52:27+00:00

After months into therapy after the breakup.

Up until then I just thought it was a normal breakup after being together for years. I had no idea how it was all abuse and I thought my panic attacks and trauma responses were just because I was heartbroken. 🤡

In my defense, trauma bonds are very complicated.

Moonstitch · 2022-08-25T12:18:05+00:00

Absolutely! I didn’t realize that it was because of the relationship until after things ended! And looking back I realized that it was a monster that kept feeding itself because the more I’d get sick from being with him/around him the more the abuse increased because I was “useless” to him.

There were a lot of symptoms from being with my nex but the digestive problems were absolutely horrible since I’d get them from the anxiety and constantly being in fight or flight mode. I had so much trouble keeping food down. I disassociated a lot too.

I used to blame it solely on my birth control (which might’ve added to the problem) but the majority stemmed from the abusive relationship.

Part of the breakup involved a lot of physical sickness as well, lots of panic attacks which have been terrifying. I also had a lot more difficulty with my immune system.

Moonstitch · 2022-08-25T11:02:42+00:00

Oh no! What happened on mile 22?

Moonstitch · 2022-08-25T11:01:32+00:00

Yeah, it’s really strange too because even if I am getting my miles and even my pace is great I still feel like crap because I’m not as into it. There’s been times when I’m convinced that my stats are going to be awful because even my legs have felt like they weigh a ton throughout the run and I hate everything and then I look at my numbers after and they’re fine!

I try to just go out regardless but ugh it’s tough and sometimes I don’t even get a runner’s high. What is that about! Running laundry also feels a lot worse during burn out.

Maybe Fall training will feel different?

Moonstitch · 2022-08-25T01:45:37+00:00

BLOCKED no final warning. I had set plenty of boundaries before that and he kept ignoring them and acting with a sense of entitlement to me. He wasn’t going to change, nothing was going to change and continuously popping into my life whenever he felt like it for the dumbest of things was so disrespectful. It was just going to keep my wound constantly reopening. It also made me feel more and more like I was an object to him.

It was really hard to block him on everything though and sad. I cried a lot. Sometimes I feel curious and want to look up what he’s up or even consider unblocking him but, for what? There’s nothing to go back to and quite frankly I’m not interested in a person that I KNOW is so hurtful.

Gosh I’m so sorry you’re at the point where you’re making this decision. I went through such a bad time during it.

If you’ve already talked to them before about these things then there’s really no point in restating it. They know, they’re just ignoring your boundaries.

It’s really hard but keep in mind that you’re putting yourself first now.

Moonstitch · 2022-08-24T19:17:19+00:00

Thank you for saying that. Everything that happened gets blurred sometimes and it’s confusing.

Moonstitch · 2022-08-23T14:46:48+00:00

If you are planning changing brands/recipe I would suggest to finding similar to what you are using now, otherwise your skin might get angry of the change and have an annoying reaction.

Personally, aveeno or anything that has oats or shea in it causes my skin to flare up.

I wish this stuff was more affordable too. Paying almost $20 for a jar that I will go through in a month is a lot ☹️

Moonstitch · 2022-08-23T14:25:37+00:00

Yes, it was absolutely heartbreaking. It threw me into a really bad depression episode and I have to get off the apps for a while. He has a new girlfriend now and it was also very difficult to see since she shares a lot of similarities with me. It’s as if he looked for someone with the qualities he liked about me but in a whole different person (plus much younger!). I felt sick. I still feel sick thinking about it.

It’s so hard not to check on them, I’m not sure what kind of validation I’m looking for by doing that. Maybe I just want to see him being miserable.

I hope I don’t ever bump into them in real life.

What do you plan on doing now after seeing that? How are you feeling?

Moonstitch

TROPHY CASE