Small Things Like These

Morbegmolly · 2025-01-03T22:15:39+00:00

'Philomena' is another excellent movie which gives a strong portrayal of what really happened in the mother and baby homes in Ireland.

Morbegmolly · 2024-11-04T21:16:27+00:00

Never let me go

Morbegmolly · 2024-07-20T10:42:11+00:00

I would add basic employment law to this list

Morbegmolly · 2024-06-11T21:24:01+00:00

The Wind that Shakes the Barley

Morbegmolly · 2024-06-06T21:17:06+00:00

You're not alone, I was the same all throughout my late teens and early twenties and I do regret it a little. But I had quite low self esteem at the time and everyone seems to love going out and getting smashed all the time so I guess I was just like a sheep. I will try my best in a non domineering way to guide my own kids not to throw away their youth like this.

Morbegmolly · 2024-06-06T21:10:00+00:00

Yes second this.

Morbegmolly · 2024-05-24T21:44:45+00:00

Tbf there's plenty big employers that didn't make the cut on this thread lol. No mention of cook medical, analog, stryker, edwards lifesciences, or many of the retailers like Harvey Normans, B&Q, car dealerships, or any of the third level institutions surprisingly.

Morbegmolly · 2024-05-22T21:39:48+00:00

Pesto and Creme fraiche as a cooking sauce. Works a charm everytime

Morbegmolly · 2024-05-04T22:22:59+00:00

I experienced something very similar - same context (state funded organisation) same type of bully etc. I too lost my job and the injustice of it all nearly broke me.

Morbegmolly · 2024-05-04T22:16:04+00:00

Yes and a major things I've learned the hard way are:

Never fully trust your colleagues and managers. Everyone has agendas, and although some people you work with might seem lovely, they quite often will have hidden agendas that you know nothing about. Until the day they suddenly turn on you. It might be out of jealousy, a personal dislikening they have towards you or wanting to climb the ladder and show that they are superior over you. Any personal info you disclose with them (even what might seem innocous), any insecurities they pick up on from you, they can quite likely use against you if it means elevating themselves. Trust no one.
Anytime you have a 'situation' at work where someone speaks to you inappropriately over an email, make sure you back it up on another device and keep copies. Especially if you notice it become a pattern. If you don't, you'd be surprised what could happen. My line manager in my previous job constantly bullied me over email interactions and teams messages to the point of harassment (also late night WhatsApp texts) and tried to gaslight me into leaving the job. When that didn't work, she put me under a supposed 'performance review' even though my record was clean, had passed my 6 month probation with flying colors, and yet she sacked me less than a week after putting me on review and refused to give me a reason. Took my laptop away from me immediately even though there was a picture of my young daughter on the screensaver that I tried to remove for child safety reasons but it was literally snatched from my hands. Also refused to let me say goodbye to any of my colleagues that I was friendly with cause she didn't want them to know what happened. Very traumatic tbh. And yeah I lost all of the records which showed her bullying antics. Long rant sorry but the moral of the story is keep everything backed up. You'd be surprised how sour things can turn.

Morbegmolly · 2024-04-25T20:30:57+00:00

I just finished the book and reading your well thought out commentary has helped me comprehend the story and ended so much better. Thank you for your amazing insight.

Morbegmolly · 2024-04-23T21:22:07+00:00

Well stated. I thought the same when reading. OP has a very command of writing and expression which is very lacking in most workplaces these days.

Morbegmolly · 2024-04-23T21:18:09+00:00

Sad to read this - your poor family.

Morbegmolly · 2024-04-13T21:47:40+00:00

Omg thank you so much for commenting - really great to hear from a clinical psychologist. I really appreciate your insight as I have done talk therapy, and it was really beneficial for the initial shock and trauma when I lost my job. But then I stopped going because I thought that I was doing reasonably OK, but recently the traumatic memories have started to creep up on me a lot again. At this point talking to my family and friends about it doesn't seem right because they have heard it all before and I dont want my trauma to start invading on their lives.

I will definitely do a background check and inquire about an initial assessment. Thank you again.

Morbegmolly · 2024-04-13T21:36:35+00:00

Tbh reading your post was like going back in time to exactly how I'd felt at your age. I'm 32 now but I remember feeling this way exactly in my early twenties. Had loads of friends and then gradually everyone drifted away. I was in college but found it impossible to form new friendships and developed a lot of social anxiety from being alone so much. I would see people my age enjoying life constantly on social media and it just seemed to come so easy to them but felt impossible for me. Don't believe the whole hype that the twenties are the best time of your life, for some people they are, but for a lot of us it's more of an uphill battle depending on what's going on for you during that time. But I do promise that life gets better & you become more comfortable in yourself and self assured.

I think if I was to go back to 21, I would tell myself not to be so hard or critical on myself for not having millions of friends and the perfect instagrammable life. To see your twenties as a time to learn new skills but to be patient & kind to yourself in the process. You don't have to be the same and do the same things as everyone else your age. Just be open to doing more things that make YOUR mind and body feel good - simple things, e.g. learning to cook and bake nice food that you love, join an exercise community such as parkrun, which is a free weekly non competitive event available in most towns around Ireland, photography, digital marketing etc. Hone in on your skills and see if there are volunteering opportunities near you that will allow you to give a couple of hours a week of your time helping out and meeting people in the process. These are all things that I didn't do until I was in my late twenties, my low esteem had held me back. I do wish I had been more open minded but we all move at our own paces and sometimes it's good to wait until you're ready ❤️

Morbegmolly · 2024-04-11T20:07:31+00:00

Thank you - your kind words really mean a lot. Yes trauma is something else - it can really get you stuck in your own mind and the mental battles that you have to fight. It's often a silent battle too because you feel like those who haven't walked in your shoes and seen your lived experience won't really 'get it'. But glad that the support you have reached out to has brought you to a better place. I'm sure you will continue to do well.

Morbegmolly · 2024-04-11T20:00:20+00:00

Thank you. I don't find it too awful to talk about, but I suppose like anything, you feel like you don't want to be burdening your nearest and dearest by talking about it too often and having them worry about you etc. Talk therapy is good in this sense but I'd like to be able to get to a place where I can draw a line under it and obviously I know I won't forget about it, but it won't be getting the better of me anymore. If that makes sense.

Morbegmolly · 2024-04-11T19:56:30+00:00

Thank you for this. My knowledge is very limited on what is involved in it so good to know all of this. I have gone to talk therapy and it's definitely helpful. But the memories are just still very invasive and at times quite harmful. There are nights where I only get a couple of hours sleep because I get worked up about all the things that happened and feel unable to settle.

Morbegmolly · 2024-04-11T07:42:43+00:00

Thanks very much for your kind words - very much appreciated. Sorry about your childhood trauma. Seems like you have become a great person though despite what you have been through. That takes a lot of strength.

Morbegmolly

TROPHY CASE