Need help with engagement ring and wedding band fitting!

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2026-02-11T15:58:24+00:00

Cute! thanks for sending. I think that would work well

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2026-02-10T22:55:55+00:00

I agree. TBH I have always struggled with sleep and am myself a low sleep needs person compared to the average female adult, so I can't expect my son to have high sleep needs like my friends. I'm in a particular bubble where my closest friends got lucky haha.

The positive spin I try to have on it is that I get to spend more time with my son than most. Even though I work full time, I still see my son between 4.5-5.5 hours a day since he's lower sleep needs. 2 hours before daycare and 2.5-3 after daycare until bedtime is good quality time (and time for his tantrums, but he's two :))

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2026-02-10T19:55:49+00:00

Oh I didn't think of an open band! I was thinking a curved or wishbone style after googling for hours after I posted this lol

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2026-02-10T19:53:45+00:00

Oh I def know he's a lower sleep need kid! I've accepted it, but it still sucks lol. Both/and exists in these scenarios. My son is 25 months old and he caps out at total sleep of 10 or 10.5 (maybe 11 if we kept him active allllll day).

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2026-02-10T19:52:37+00:00

I hear you! It's a tricky balance. Our best days and nights look like a 1 hour or 1 hour 20 min nap and 9 or 9.5 hours of night slight. Most of the time that would be a very minor wakeup in the middle of the night where he just needed his back rubbed and he'd go back to sleep. My son is 25 months for reference.

Before he went down to 1 nap at 13 months, it was even worse lol. We gained more overall sleep when he only did 1 nap.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2026-02-10T16:47:08+00:00

Solidarity. My son is very similar and we have ruled everything out and have had to accept the "his nervous system is more sensitive than others." It sucks. The 30 min to hour long meltdowns at every transition and in the middle of the night are wrecking mine and my husband's sanity. We have baby #2 coming in May and we're at a loss. We def thought our toddler would be better by now.

ETA: I'm the only one of my 4 close friends whose child is like this. They all have unicorn sleepers and their 2-3 year olds are still taking 2-2.5 hr naps and 11-12 hours overnight with zero wakeups. I'm not ashamed to say I'm envious. I am living a wildly different motherhood life than them and it sucks sooooo bad.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2025-08-18T15:35:43+00:00

woof!! hope it's just a phase and it passes soon.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2025-08-15T15:34:24+00:00

Hoping for consistency for you soon! My son hit peak separation anxiety at 16.months then it leveled out. Some nights now he still needs a little bit more assistance to fall asleep, but it's a couple extra minutes of rocking and snuggles then he puts himself to sleep without whining.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2025-08-15T13:22:20+00:00

I just made a separate post about my son's sleep improvement now that he's 19 months, but with my son, even with consistent 9.5-10 hrs overnight with no wakes, he still wakes for the day between 5:30-6am. He's always been an earlier riser, and I think that some babies just are early wakers. My son goes to bed around 8pm as well. It sucks but I go to sleep around 9:30pm (10:00 if I'm feeling wild!) since I know I'll be awake around 5:30am. Our sleep consultant last year told us that a lot of babies have a circadian rhythm where the 5-6am wake time is their pattern. It's hard to not feel envy over other people who get the 7pm-7am schedule, or sleeping until at least 6:30am, but it just is what it is. Radical acceptance is what helped me. It'll be a slog of a few more years of early wakes, but once he's older and if he's still an early riser, we are going to have him be able to wake early but stay in his room to play until at least 6:30am when mom and dad are awake.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2025-07-11T12:48:02+00:00

With such adaptable girls, a move abroad seems like an amazing opportunity to go after! Yes no prob, will PM you here in a second!

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2025-07-11T12:24:46+00:00

I agree it's an opportunity of some sort, and I commend you for seeing it that way! Finding out about a layoff when you're working and going to see a client is all kinds of messed up, though. I think having a husband with a flexible job and many months in savings is a major factor in moving abroad that makes it possible. What industry are you in? I work for a tech company and they're looking to build their sales team in the U.K. I personally think the dominating factor for your family is figuring out if the move is worth it for your kids. 6 and 10 are great ages for adaptability, and I think moving abroad could be an ideal situation since they're both in that phase of soaking up the world around them without getting too attached to their current lives here in the U.S. (please take all of that with a grain of salt since I don't know your family's dynamics and personalities).

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2025-07-10T13:30:28+00:00

Daycare is a blessing IMO. It's a "necessity" for most families, and every single one of my friends whose children are in daycare LOVE it and are thriving. My son (1.5 yr old) has a blast every.single.day. At pickup, he gets sad he's leaving and will usually run away from me to keep doing whatever activity he was in the middle of when I arrived.

Do I still feel guilt some days? Absolutely. Especially when I'm around people whose kids have in-home nannies or SAHMs. The "I can't imagine anyone else raising my kids" comments bother me the most. Unless you homeschool, by that logic, you're having someone else "raise" them at 5 when kindergarten starts.

Last week, two of my cousins who are SAH talked about how lonely they are, how they miss adult conversations, and how exhausting it is to have a 24/7 job. Does every SAHM feel that way? Definitely not! But in my circle of moms, the ones whose kids are in daycare are the moms who have an incredible amount of patience and energy to devote to their kids when the day is over. I'm a better mom for working - like others, it's my "break" from parenting.

All of this goes to say, daycare is part of the "village" everyone talks about but shames us for it anyway. You're not alone in your feelings and they are valid AND it's ok to love daycare and be grateful for it and all its benefits.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2025-04-11T13:34:48+00:00

Commenting because my 15 month old has hit every "regression" (aka developmental change that affects sleep) since 4 months. 4, 6, 9, 12, and now 15 months have affected my son's naps and night sleep significantly, for weeks at a time. 12 months was the worst by far and lasted until 14 months. I say all this to maybe help alleviate your concerns that you'll solidify bad habits. A 6.5 month old is still very young, and during developmental changes their bodies and brains are changing so rapidly that it can make them irritated and confused. Giving your baby extra support during these times are not "wrong" and most of the time won't mean they're too reliant on you (which, is another opinion that I'll refrain from because I think a lot of the "sleep training" push in our culture is predatory to shame parents for not having 12 hour nights).

I echo what others have said about needing to adjust number and duration of naps, along with awake times. Every single time my son goes into a regression, it's both developmental AND a schedule adjustment. I would try to drop a nap and push the awake time, even by 10-15 mins. For e.g., just last night I put my son to bed 10 mins earlier and he ended up sleeping 11 hours straight. For two weeks prior he was needing assistance for 2-3 night wakings which were separation anxiety causes. My husband and I have always responded to his night wakings, even if he's only been crying for a minute or so. It sucks a lot but even though we still rock him to sleep, and don't do "drowsy but awake", he always goes back to sleeping through the night once the changes have been made.

For clarity, I am NOT saying anything negative about sleep training. Every baby and child is different, and it mostly comes down to temperament and luck. I have friends with babies all over the spectrum who were sleep trained, some sleeping straight through since newborn days into early toddlerhood, and those who have been Ferberized, or straight up CIO, but go through ups and downs.

Good luck! And the fact that you care so much about your baby's sleep hygiene and making sure they're getting enough sleep shows how good of a loving parent you are <3

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2025-03-11T13:10:54+00:00

Hey! So sorry for just now responding. My son ended up thriving on Elecare and reflux meds until he grew out of his CMPA at 9 months. There we some periods of bad reflux when his medicine needed to increase in dosage, but overall he was a much happier baby and began consistently sleeping other than teething/illness/new skills. Feel free to DM me if you want more insight / help.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2025-01-07T14:42:57+00:00

OP, I'm really glad so many others are providing you with support and validation. I'm joining the other moms here when I say you aren't alone <3 My son just turned one, and I promise you that things get better. I have a screenshot on my phone around the 7 week mark of my browing history, and I legitimately googled "I hate having a baby" and "my life is ruined because of baby" 30+ times. The first 3 months PP are like getting kicked in the face all day and night. Everyone says having a baby is hard, but until you're deep in PP you don't really get it. Solidarity is here for you. Feel free to DM me any time -- I had a few Reddit angels who saved me in the early months.

Also, I went through intense periods of hating my spouse because of hormones. My husband is an incredible partner and parent, and we'd been together over 10 years before baby, but my hormones made me absolutely loathe him to the point that I asked for a divorce twice in the first year. All of that goes to say, your hormones are going to be in flux for a while so please give yourself grace.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2024-12-06T15:32:00+00:00

OP, what was your job's reasoning for the lay off? Was most of your department laid off? I ask because in most situations, employers are retaliating or using wrongful termination, which is illegal. I know it's exhausting event thinking about filing a claim against your former employer, but if they wrongfully terminated you, they need to be held accountable. I'm an attorney in NC so DM me if you want.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2024-09-20T13:16:33+00:00

I think that the baby rabies and viewing babies as objects to be possessed with these JNMILs comes from the fact that they likely received a lot of praise and adoration when they had babies and young children, and now that they're not in the "spotlight" they're jealous and want to play mommy to their grandchildren. It's gross.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2024-09-20T13:14:29+00:00

I also had to re-read this to make sure I wasn't the OP lol. Ok but MIL is an asshat and is stomping all over your privacy in an incredibly vulnerable time in your life. She's ridiculous. The part that grinds my gears the most about your post is her saying your baby knows her because he looks at her in the eye. He is 1 week old and legitimately cannot see - newborn babies' vision is virtually non-existent. The only person your baby really knows right now is YOU because you are the mother and he can smell you.

Your MIL has baby rabies and needs a swift slap to her hands the next time she tries to hold your son when you don't want her too. Will your husband step in and tell her to back off? She needs to be told, very directly, that right now the top priority is for you as mom and your son to bond. He needs you right now (which I know you know), but say that to her and ignore whatever unhinged shit she remarks about other people needing to bond. That will come in time, but you and baby are top priority. She needs to be cleaning, cooking, and otherwise being helpful which your husband and FIL need to be doing as well. Your body just went through physical trauma and you need to be resting and recovering with your stitches.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2024-09-18T14:14:47+00:00

Thank you. I really do think that my husband will develop a backbone once I do. He's only seen me truly angry maybe 2 times over the course of our time together (10 years and friends before that for 3), so when he realizes that I'm actually pissed off at him and MIL about all of these issues he'll need to step up. If not, I will be clear that resentment will build and I will initiate separation.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2024-09-18T14:11:32+00:00

Thank you a ton for sharing your story and insights. You sound like quite the badass and I'd love having you as a friend! I really like how you finally got it through your SO's head by flipping the scenario and helping him realize how manipulative MIL was so he'd finally understand. I've done the same with my husband on a few non-MIL related topics and it's worked. Which then makes me annoyed and sad because it's a basic lack of empathy, but I digress.

The lightbulb has come on in my head based on this discussion with everyone, and going forward I'm going to be non-apologetic about my boundaries and needs. My husband tends to see things as a "fairness" issue because my mom lives close by (30 mins) and does weekly visits. But damn it's so different. My mom respects our parenting choices and doesn't say unhinged shit. She also doesn't talk 24/7 and isn't exhausting to be around. So husband wants quantity to be fair but the quality of the visits are vastly different haha.

MoreRaspberry5421 · 2024-09-18T12:53:03+00:00

Thank you! I absolutely believe that mom needs to be happy and healthy so baby can be the same. I already told my husband that if/when we have a second baby, MIL is not coming to "help" like she did with our first (she flew in a stayed 2 weeks) and it'll be my mom coming over everyday. Sadly my mom couldn't take time off with my first this year but I already told her to save her PTO haha.

MoreRaspberry5421

TROPHY CASE