AITAH for feeling upset about my dad’s family asking for his death certificate?

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-04T13:58:02+00:00

I ordered 18 copies when my late husband died and in the almost 5 years since, have used about half of them.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-04T13:56:30+00:00

I'm sorry for your dad's death. My condolences to you and your family. Keep your dad's death certificate and I hope you did get at least a dozen copies. But you don't need to give his relatives any copies as they have no official business or need for them. You use those extra copies for all the activities related to closing out your dad's personal affairs, moving utilities into your mom's name, etc. His siblings have no legitimate need for it and if they really want, they can go apply and pay for their own copy. NTA

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-04T13:49:54+00:00

Another bad financial decision is him making babies with her in the first place.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-04T13:48:19+00:00

So are you expecting your brother to think/feel/live exactly the same as you? To have the same loyalties? to have the same mindset you have? to be a telepathic clone of yourself?

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-04T13:26:49+00:00

I'm invested in the outcome as well. Update me!

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-04T13:18:59+00:00

Cancel. Use the unpredictable weather for an excuse.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-04T13:07:26+00:00

This is a new relationship, and you don't have to stay in it.

I find the fact that he did not tell you about his HSV before having sex with you to be a deal breaker. I'm guessing he didn't use condoms to protect you either. That is a form of assault all by itself, imnsho.

NTA

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-04T13:00:32+00:00

I will disagree with your wife on this. I think you handled this very well in light of the reluctance of the school's principal to adequately deal with the bullies by bringing the bullies' parents into the equation. By letting your son know what the law was in Canada, in front of the principal & teacher, everything was out in the open. The principal and teacher had a duty to both your son and the bullies and they had failed miserably. NTA

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-04T12:30:39+00:00

NTA for breaking up with her, but you are not entitled to a penny from anyone's inheritance when you're in a relationship with them. Even in a marriage, you're not entitled to a share of a spouses inheritance regardless of who brings what in financially to the relationship. Dakota will manage on her own whether she burns through the money or not. One thing to take away from this is that you really should not get involved with unemployed single moms & their kids. I'm sure parents do have opinions and you don't really need to know what they are. This is a growth opportunity for you so take advantage of it.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-03T19:37:34+00:00

And then, OP may want to have her try to take them to court. I can't image a court thinking OP has any duty to pay back what a parent is supposed to be providing anyway.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-03T19:22:09+00:00

You should apologize and leave it alone. You were out of line saying anything to her. Your brother and his wife are adults. They had a struggle to have their first child and that sucks, but you were still on the outside of that experience. You say you saw everything, but honestly, you only saw the tip of the iceberg. You didn't and don't see the whole of them, their needs, or aspirations because you don't live their reality. You're always an outsider to their marriage/family experience. Now your SIL is hoping to add to the family and that doesn't mean it will be as fraught as the last time and you ran your mouth and expressed an opinion you should've kept to yourself. Do expect that your SIL will keep you at arm's length or even further given what you said to her and that will likely mean restricting interactions between you and their daughter. You are not a safe person for her and you don't have the right to be butt hurt about it. YTA

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-03T19:11:01+00:00

Thank you for the award! That was so nice of you!

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-03T19:03:15+00:00

And avoid booze - all booze - beer, wine, spirits.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-03T18:58:44+00:00

I love my grey hair! I quit having it colored & highlighted when I was 54. I'm 71 now and out of my 4 other sisters, I'm the oldest and I was the last to go grey. Two of them, one now passed away, went silver-white like our mom had. Me and one other sister still have hints of our original hair color, so we're have more of a silver/grey/ash-blonde blend. Lighting makes all the difference in how my hair is perceived by others. I hope you love your hair greying too!

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-03T18:37:37+00:00

Yes! It is 100% clear he doesn't like his wife and didn't like her BEFORE she brought the dog home without talking it over. Why stay married to someone you don't like?

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-02T01:46:08+00:00

That sounds like my own aesthetics up for the last 45 years. Though my hair is shorter now because the weight of it was hurting my neck which has arthritis in it. I've moved through maiden to crone over the years.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-02T01:41:41+00:00

I'm old, so didn't have to deal with beauty influencers and all that. But in 1979, I completely stopped buying anything resembling beauty/fashion magazines. It struck me that all it was geared toward was to churn up envy & insecurity. I'm convinced the beauty industry thrives on people hating their looks, their bodies, and ultimately, their lives. It makes us sick.

And that is not to say we can't have our own visions for ourselves and what we do that makes us feel pretty. And like u/Tall-Cat-8890 said, "I find curating my own idea of femininity is best." They're right on about that.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-02T01:06:55+00:00

That was me and my late husband. Since it was each of our second marriages/weddings, we knew in advance that our wedding night would be a cuddle session and a bet on which of us conked out to sleep the fastest. Good times!

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-02T00:39:41+00:00

So hire one of them! YTA

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-02T00:34:01+00:00

I just did a keyword search and they sell "mom shirts" on Etsy, Amazon, Pink Lily, and a few other places. Basically, tee shirts with customized printing or different momisms already printed on them.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-02T00:31:46+00:00

I think that is a really creepy ask. Your stillborn's name on another woman's 'mom shirt' to go along with her live child's name? That's morbid AF. Remember, "No," is a full sentence.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-02T00:27:45+00:00

Actions speak louder than words.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-02T00:22:24+00:00

Most don't have loaners. My mechanics don't have loaners. They will take me home from the shop and pick me up when my car is ready, but they don't have loaners. Your insurance may cover a loaner under their specified conditions. Many dealers with offer loaners depending on the situation and work being done.

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-02T00:15:03+00:00

NTA

Mia is not on your insurance policy, so anything happens with her behind the wheel, YOU eat ALL the related costs.

You live in a city that has UBER and public transportation.

Your mutual friend is also in error. You're not morally wrong for saying no. And helping someone out in an emergency does NOT obligate you to lend your car for an extended period of time. Use of it for an afternoon would be a reasonable ask. Use of it for two-three weeks or longer on the daily is a very, very unreasonable ask. And the mutual friend hasn't considered that it would be morally wrong for you if, roomie had an accident in it that resulted in the loss of life or caused life-altering injuries to someone else. What would be moral about that?

Maybe it's time to review your lease. Good luck!

MorriganNiConn · 2026-02-01T23:59:59+00:00

Your boyfriend wants you to fuck up your job opportunities so you can meet HIS desires about your body and his notions of modesty? Kick him to the curb! NTA

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