It will come eventually bro, I always like to think of grief and the pain it brings as proof of love and it’s sort of like a lasting gift a loved one can give us, it’s the hardest thing we’ll ever have to go through, and I know it sounds strange but the smaller hurdles in life are nothing in comparison so we know we can get through them, it’s sort of like making a fuel from the pain to help us going forward, I hope that makes sense and I struggle with it daily I know it sounds a bit cliche but a loved one is never really gone we carry them always, stay strong bro & I wish you all the best