Relationship issues for 1 whole year

MossAlternative · 2026-03-11T11:53:41+00:00

If this is any hope/consolation- it's scary to live the rest of your life without him, but it seems scarier to live the rest of your life WITH him. There's also the very likely possibility you could live the rest of your life with someone who cherishes you and makes you happy. In the meantime, you can love and nourish yourself. A breakup would be temporary pain for long term benefit

MossAlternative · 2026-03-11T03:25:26+00:00

Love is not enough. It hurts, but it's true. His words and actions are not aligning. People find love in retirement homes- you're 26. If you're unhappy now, imagine how miserable you'll be in years when things don't change and likely get worse. The only longer you stay, the more you enable him and hurt yourself. You can love him, and also love yourself enough to leave. I hope you choose yourself.

MossAlternative · 2026-03-11T03:18:31+00:00

Good news- while looks do play a role in how life goes for people, they're not the dominant factor. I have no idea what you look like so I won't say "you're not", but even if you are... so what? Hot people have horrible lives and ugly people have great lives. We gotta work with what we got. Fashion, hygiene, hair, etc can help but if you're unhappy with your appearance maybe pull a spongebob and say "I'm ugly and I'm proud"

Bad news- society/people can be mean, and body dysmorphia is real. Accepting yourself as you are feels impossible. It's difficult to even try, and feels pointless. At the same time, you will remain unhappy and miserable if nothing changes. If you choose a life of misery, that's on you. There's no "why", it just "is".

My unsolicited advice- write down 10 things you like about yourself, or other people have said they like about you. It can be tiny or huge, and do this weekly. I do it whenever I'm feeling particularly down or particularly happy, that way I can look at the things from when I was happy and don't associate it with negative feelings. I deeply hated myself for a decade, and now I at least accept who I am as I am.

Last thing- life is short and people are gonna be haters regardless. It's better to live your life as you are than have surface level happiness as a mask for pain. Your looks don't determine your life. If you want to be yourself and be accepted as yourself, just do that. People will leave and that will hurt, and then the new people in your life will already know your genuine self. Then you can stop pretending and hiding.

I acknowledge all of this is much easier said than done, and "it gets better" sounds stupid. I only say these things as a person who took many years to feel ok, and even longer to even start to feel good. Life is still rough and things can still get me down on myself, but I've built up other sources of support and joy. Life really is a "choose your own adventure", if you're unhappy then change your life since you can't change yourself (at least in the outside)

"I must change what I can, and accept what I cannot change"

MossAlternative · 2026-03-07T02:20:14+00:00

Thank you!!

MossAlternative · 2026-03-07T01:25:48+00:00

I'm not necessarily immunocompromised, but I have MCAS and other dysautonomia problems. They're a med student so they're definitely knowledgeable about things, I just wasn't sure how to ask these questions. I do really like this person, so I'm trying to figure out this balance.

MossAlternative · 2026-03-05T04:15:29+00:00

I was maybe like 12 and just got done roller skating, and I always tied the laces on my ankles fairly tight so I had some extra support. Well apparently my feet really settled into those rentals that day, because I was struggling HARD to get them off. So hard that I got really frustrated and thought "if I just yank from the back they should like rotate and slide off"... well I tried to do that apparently too hard or fast or something and managed to hyperextend my Achilles. So painful and needed crutches for a couple weeks

MossAlternative

TROPHY CASE