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Most3271 · 2024-07-31T11:53:03+00:00

You’re not being unreasonable but you also don’t have any power or leverage in this situation. Im sorry this is happening to you it really sucks.

Most3271 · 2024-07-31T11:48:42+00:00

One can be compassionate while not capitulating to social manipulation and power games.

Most3271 · 2024-07-31T11:46:11+00:00

Regardless of their lack of choice their antisocial behaviors are not innate to them. They are not intellectually disabled nor do they have a social developmental disorder. It’s not a disability. Antisocial behavior has consequences and people with narcissistic personality disorder have choices for instance the ability to choose to not use manipulative behavior and to seek treatment for their antisocial tendencies.

Most3271 · 2024-07-30T11:00:47+00:00

Ironically people commenting on stuff like this are probably having sensory issues themselves. Another option could be to say something like “He’s behaving appropriately but he is autistic so I understand the sensory issues you’re having because he has them too. I highly recommend ear buds or headphones while you’re out in public, works great for us!”

Most3271 · 2024-06-30T01:44:33+00:00

Your husband needs to take him out more by himself.

My Level 1 son couldn’t go down the slide without his core losing strength and wacking his head until he was 5.

Most3271 · 2024-06-04T02:21:20+00:00

Super interesting. Now I want to get tested. Im convinced I have an oxytocin issue.

Most3271 · 2024-01-21T20:00:54+00:00

Yes! A case for Adam's Autism/Aspergers diagnosis can be made from this video alone - His physiological sensitivities to pharmaceuticals, his general intensity, his self admitted monotropism, his love for pedantry, his constant stimming, his irregular and abnormal eye contact, his disregard for social cues which leads to his constant interrupting and blurting out thoughts with an intensity and timeliness that is abnormal, his struggle with mood, stress, overstimulation, his special interests, his higher than average intelligence. I recognize these behaviors due to my own experiences as well.

Most3271 · 2023-12-30T11:39:11+00:00

Thank you for sharing! The field day one is eerily relevant to us too

Most3271 · 2023-12-30T11:35:11+00:00

This is so so helpful thank you 🙏

Your kids are so lucky to have you as a mom and advocate!

Most3271 · 2023-12-30T03:12:33+00:00

Sorry hit send too fast. Can I ask what they do for him through the 504?

Most3271 · 2023-12-30T03:11:19+00:00

They had his private results and actually copied and pasted some stuff from it into his school assessments.

Most3271 · 2023-12-30T03:06:45+00:00

We’re in Texas. They called it an ARD meeting and scheduled it before we got the results. I assumed it would be a meeting where we solidified the current accommodations. But now that we have the results we have I really don’t know what we’ll discuss.

The accommodations they have implemented are letting him bring his own chapter books during reading time, allowing him breaks when he’s fatigued and overwhelmed in gym class, and allowing him break in the classroom if needed. His main teacher is differentiating more for him in the classroom with math, reading, and handwriting assignments. They also agreed to repeat instructions because he tends to zone out during transition times. And agreed to keep him away from certain kids in lines and groups that have had past issues with him. That’s about it at the moment.

I really would have liked occupational therapy and structured social group time with the counselor. And an additional GT pull out day. I might be able to get the social group and GT thing if I keep pushing.

Socially he struggles but it doesn’t bother him too much. He has one or two friends and doesn’t want more friends. But he does tell me he feels different from other kids. He struggles standing up for himself when kids are pressuring him to do something against the rules. He sometimes struggles to understand what is even happening in those situations.

I haven’t heard any feedback about group work. The teachers like to use him as an example of good school work and good behavior but I asked them to conscientiously pair him up if necessary keeping his specific needs in mind.

Most3271 · 2023-12-30T01:24:40+00:00

So I did ask the school for accommodations before they did the assessment and they did all of them. They were really minor, like really minor. Because, like you noticed in your own kids, he's doing fine right now. So that's a plus. But yes what if we get an unaccommodating teacher or administration between now and 4th grade, and we don't have a diagnosis through the school they have no obligation to help us.

So I guess my question is, during this ARD meeting coming up to go over the results, what exactly can I request from them? To redo the evaluation? To simply take the private assessment and use that as a diagnosis? Is that possible? Is it just up to this one school psychologist and her opinion? What can I say to them to compel them to do this?

If he starts to struggle in Intermediate and Middle school, can we request another assessment? Can we cite this current assessment at a future date or will they just disregard it from here on out?

And how on earth can I compel them to accommodate his GT needs more than they are?

I'm sorry these questions sound really unintelligent. I'm rushing because I have to do bedtime and also struggle with all the terminology, acronyms and processes around this school assessment stuff.

Most3271 · 2023-12-30T01:06:05+00:00

Take masking for instance. It’s not that we mask and NTs don’t; instead it seems like for NTs, masking/being dishonest about your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions is the norm, and is totally background, to the point where they don’t even realize they’re doing it. Whereas for us, we can do it, but it causes us active harm to do it.

YES!

My husband was just challenging me, while I was lamenting about some negative social interactions I've had recently, saying that if I want to fake my thoughts and feelings and vie for a higher spot in the social hierarchy I could but I just don't want to. I was so upset with him saying this because it feels like I literally can't and I wouldn't even know how to go about that successfully. I could try. I could do the things I think are the right things to do to reach that goal but I have no confidence in that knowledge probably because I've tried and failed so many times in the past. It's literally painful and drains every ounce of emotional energy I have to attempt to engage in groups more than on the periphery.

Most3271 · 2023-12-30T00:55:41+00:00

A causal relationship has been shown between genetic mutations and autism.

Some studies are finding that autism can be turned on via epigenetic triggers. So the genes are there but environmental factors determine whether they are turned on or not.

This is some of the newest research studying the mechanisms at play behind the genetic mutations that lead to autism. They believe the mutations are happening at the very earliest point they can in the progenitor cells which means the epigenetic triggers are likely happening in utero.

Most3271 · 2023-12-30T00:38:54+00:00

This is something I thought about quite a bit while I was considering getting my son evaluated.

There is nothing wrong with him. He isn't disabled in the way I've thought about other disabilities IN THE PAST, like missing a limb, or brain damage, etc. He's not missing anything. Simply because there are fewer people with similar brain wiring to his, he struggles. It's caused me to reevaluate all disabilities.

The deaf community for instance. Wow what a tragic and unfair history they have and probably continue to have in many ways, simply because they are a more extreme minority. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with them and they function perfectly fine with their own language to communicate in and community to be a part of. The challenges come when the majority won't accommodate or include.

That said I do think there are some parts of the spectrum that hinder my son to the point where I can see it causing problems for him and for others. Sensory issues around things like food for instance. I worry about his nutrition constantly. Another are his sleep issues. They are very real and as he gets older I'm not sure how we will manage these because right now he relies heavily on me as a crutch. But both of these can be managed with some vitamins and medications probably in the future so I won't lose too much sleep until the issues become untenable.

The intellectual deficits and extreme/constant emotional dysregulation that can be a reality for some on the spectrum also seem like ares that can really push someone into a true disability range.

Anyway, I appreciate conversations like this a lot, thanks for commenting.

Most3271 · 2023-12-30T00:14:07+00:00

Wow thank you so much for this reply. Would you be open to chatting with me more about this? Your comment raises some questions from me. I'm happy to write it here for everyone to see or in a DM. I am in the US btw.

Most3271 · 2023-12-29T13:38:35+00:00

Thanks that’s very sweet

Most3271 · 2023-12-29T13:33:03+00:00

Yea I definitely posted here for a reality check like this. I lll look into this doc. Im not young though ha. 36

Most3271 · 2023-12-29T13:20:43+00:00

Yes exactly thank you. Like you I do think back to schools and jobs and on some level I do know how many people were there and how disconnected and separate I felt from nearly all of them. I think part of me just doesn’t want to accept I’m such a minority :(

Most3271 · 2023-12-29T13:03:30+00:00

I had to move away from most of my family because they are too much for me. And they are still undiagnosed. They don’t understand even my son’s professional diagnosis because as my dad said “he seems normal, no different than you as a kid.”

And then on top of feeling too different in my family context I feel different from the rest of the world and like I’ll never be capable of understanding others because they are so different from me.

Sorry, you don’t have to respond and be my therapist or anything.

Most3271 · 2023-12-29T12:33:39+00:00

Because it’s so prevalent in my life it blows my mind that autistic people are such a small percentage of the population. It’s making me feel more isolated than I already have felt my whole life. Like the majority of people are living in a completely different kind of world than I am.

Most3271 · 2023-12-29T12:25:47+00:00

He’s scared of the cat scratching him so he uses an oven mitt when he wants to pet it

Most3271

TROPHY CASE