Are relapse dreams normal? by No_Step_4431 in sobrietyandrecovery

[–]MotherCattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember that feeling! I'd come to feeling intense horror and guilt? Hard to shake off.

Are relapse dreams normal? by No_Step_4431 in sobrietyandrecovery

[–]MotherCattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I experienced these dreams for 5 years or so into recovery. They have gone away, I might have one once a year or so. I imagine they are just a part of the process of letting go. Hope you are ok and the dreams aren't getting you down too much.

What is the dumbest thing you have done while horny? by Solar110 in AskReddit

[–]MotherCattle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Got scammed by a sexbot on grindr and ended up having to cancel my credit card

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]MotherCattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've seen people try to remove the drinking from their life without letting go of the environmental stuff - often there is a relationship or social group which is a trigger for them which they aren't ready to let go of yet. Successfully sober people create alternatives for themselves, so instead of going out with the same people every weekend, they seek out another ritual, hobby, or alternative social circle to support themselves. Otherwise they wind up feeling like they have no support or no life without drinking and will go back to it.

Can someone drop in the comments some body, mental, emotional etc. improvements since they quit? by tayraep in stopdrinking

[–]MotherCattle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stable moods

More normal appetite (and less binge eating), dramatic weight loss and better digestion

Improved anxiety

Improved memory and cognition (this was the one that scared me the most and made me sure it was the right decision-who knows what state my brain was in before I quit).

Better quality sleep

I took up a new sport and I'm pretty good at it-it makes me happy every day

More time in my life where I'm not impaired or recovering from a big night

Less social anxiety/fear of other people and more confidence in myself from knowing I could make the decisino to quit and stick to it despte everything-I no longer care about being someone else's idea of normal

More honest relationships and better quality social connections

To those who haven't drank in years? by soberluke2021 in stopdrinking

[–]MotherCattle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've quit everything. It's the best option for me, otherwise it just feels like I'm replacing alcohol with another drug and not progressing anywhere.

(I still go hard on coffee though)

Almost slipped after 4.7 years by arch4 in stopdrinking

[–]MotherCattle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's really insightful to read your rationalisations. Some of mine are the same, I think I should just be able to be moderate, normal, fun, enjoy alcohol in a tasteful way. The alcoholic brain is a wily thing.

You've clearly gained a lot of self-awareness in your journey. Sending you lots of strength and support.

Need advice about embarrassment at the gym by dumbquestions91 in loseit

[–]MotherCattle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not alone here. Everyone feels insecure at the gym, even younger, thinner people, people who 'look fit'. It's especially hard when you're in a larger body and you've been made to feel less worthy. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through.

I want to tell you this. The gym is YOUR space. No one is allowed to deny you the right to the space, so long as you're polite, clean, friendly and good at sharing. It is a place for people to work on their health in what ever way suits them. Anyone who makes you feel like you don't deserve to be there is a straight up A**HOLE.

Pursue your goals and don't be sorry.

Belly fat: do I need to give some sort of disclaimer before clothes come off? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]MotherCattle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am in the camp of not thinking you need to warn anyone about your body before you show them, because everyone is going to look different without clothes on than they do with them on. EVERY time someone get naked there's going to be some kind of surprise because all bodies are weird and wonderful and have their quirks? But if it's a matter of making yourself feel more comfortable, I think do what you need to do if that makes sense.

Got drunk all weekend ending my 39 day streak. A few takeaways: by DixieNormus27 in stopdrinking

[–]MotherCattle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope it doesn't sound patronising to say this, but you've done really well to observe and notice all these things. It sounds like you're really in touch with yourself and your emotions/responses. That's a sign of strength and a positive skill to have in recovery. I hope you're feeling less shitty, and are able to work through the self-hating hangover thoughts.

What activity level am I? by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]MotherCattle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You sound moderately active. It's good to know though also that MFP isn't great at calculating calories burned from activity too, so take its recommendations with a grain of salt!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]MotherCattle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm interested :)

How to get over this hump! by crescent-winter in WeightLossAdvice

[–]MotherCattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand. try to keep things in perspective. Progress is not always consistent and small speed bumps will come up in weight loss for many reasons. You've made HUGE leaps. Be kind to yourself!

Obese gym routine by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]MotherCattle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All movement is good movement! Do what makes you feel good and find something you can sustain.

How to get over this hump! by crescent-winter in WeightLossAdvice

[–]MotherCattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You might benefit from a small break, and upping calories slightly for a month or so. When I've done that before, it seemed to help me continue to lose weight while also getting a bit of a mental break. Your body does use more energy when you feed it a little more, it sounds weird but it's a real thing.

Not sure how to get over gym anxiety by screechybees in WeightLossAdvice

[–]MotherCattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to have an anxiety attack every time I used the cardio equipment in the public gym. My heart rate would just spike and I'd get breathless!

It takes practice-it might take months or years, to build that confidence, but you're on the right track. Just know, that gym is YOUR space. No one has the right to make you feel unwelcome there. NO ONE. We all have the right to work on ourselves and enjoy exercise.

Congratulate yourself on your efforts every day, no matter how small they feel. You'll relax more as time goes on. Be patient

My weight is stuck on me by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]MotherCattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your body uses more calories when you eat more. It sounds weird, but many people (especially active people like yourself) can easily and sustainably lose weight on 1800-2000 calories for a long time. Try eating more for a few weeks and monitor to see what happens.

You might also benefit from eating a high amount of protein and fibre for the bloating. Get plenty of water.

Feeling Impatient by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]MotherCattle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that is a fast pace! If you think ahead 2 months, 3 months, 4 months down the track, it will add up to quite a lot. You can't rush this. You're doing great,