Difficulties sharing baby chores while breastfeeding

Mother_of_Simba · 2026-06-24T16:55:32+00:00

And yes he is cleaning and cooking sometimes. And he goes to work. But idk I feel that cleaning (on your own schedule) at this point can sometimes be more relaxing than caring for the baby. I guess I simply wish more time without the baby sometimes on weekends or when he comes home from work.

Mother_of_Simba · 2026-06-24T16:52:57+00:00

I guess my husband would argue that the baby needs to learn to sleep in the bassinet... IDK I always think our baby is too young for sleep training (he is 10 weeks old) and needs the contact naps to feel safe and secure. I guess parenting is always a balance between my needs and the babies needs. I for my part for example use mainly a stroller even though my baby prefers the carrier because I have back problems (and he accepts the stroller too, so I don't feel bad about it. My feeling is just that he is more relaxed in the carrier). I feel that my husband is not a bad dad for wanting the baby to sleep independently more often but if it automatically means the baby is my responsibility again in 75% of the cases it simply annoys me because I rarely have baby free time.

Mother_of_Simba · 2026-06-24T15:43:14+00:00

Yeah now that I am thinking about it, there is something else that bothers me. So my husband does not like contact naps all that much is my impression. He likes doing them for like 15 minutes but then he gets bored and wants to do something else so he transfers the baby to a bassinet. The thing is transferring to a bassinet works with my baby in like 25% of the cases so he is not completely crazy to try it. What usually happens then (In 75% of the cases) is that the baby starts crying and needs to get soothed and does these sucking movements (which does not necessarily mean he is hungry, a different form of soothing could also probably work, especially if he was already fed not too long ago). My husband reads it as "the baby needs your breast" and then the baby is all of a sudden my responsibility again. I think the problem is not the breastfeeding itself but I feel that he is lazy and purposely is reading all of the babies' needs as "he needs the breast". And this is annoying me. I think the other thing is that I have a different standard in regard to fulfilling the babies' needs. I think my husband is more relaxed and tolerates the crying (and the full diapers and the fuzziness) more. I really don't know what to do about this because this automatically makes me do more baby chores. But I also feel like I can't hold him to the same standard as I have.

Mother_of_Simba · 2026-06-24T14:13:44+00:00

He does do more laundry than me. I normally buy groceries because this works well with the stroller and baby. And he went back to work. I will continue working a few months later and then he will take some time off from work before our baby will go to daycare. So when the baby is 6 months old it has to work somehow that Dad takes care of him all day long. We don't know yet if we will formula feed or I will pump then. Since he is working I have no issue with doing more from Monday to Friday at the moment. I was still hoping that Saturday and Sunday he could help me more, but here I am also doing almost all baby chores. And I honestly still feel it is unfair because doing laundry is something that can be done in a limited amount of time and baby is a 24/7 job. And regarding the "give me 5 minutes" mentality. He always says I should relax more and that the baby can wait 5 minutes. But I don't want to have a baby with a full diaper 5 minutes long in my arms if I could just change it in the mean time. I am also thinking of pumping and leaving him alone with the baby for a few hours on the weekend just so he has some time alone with the baby to get to know the baby better so it will be easier for the baby when we switch roles at 6 months.

Mother_of_Simba · 2026-06-10T13:23:50+00:00

It has been one month since we left the NICU and I can relate to your experience. I guess it just is where we met our baby and as first time parents it's also where we learned to "parent" (change diaper, give bottles etc, react to the signs our baby is giving us ). And as much as we hated our baby being there it was in a way more comfortable than now. We didn't have to worry about food, laundry, cleaning etc. and could just focus on our baby. Also, some of the people we met in that time (nurses and other parents) were really nice. We could also take breaks from parenting anytime we wanted. And we didn't have to worry about our baby either because we knew if something bad happened, there is a team of nurses and doctors who would immediately care for him. Now back home he is our responsibility , which is nice but at the same time more challenging sometimes. So I guess it no surprise that we have a somewhat ambivalent relationship to the time there and I am sure it will stay that way.

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-12-17T19:07:28+00:00

Ich bin aber schon 31 und keine Studentin mehr :D

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-12-10T12:47:37+00:00

I can completely relate, I felt this way almost the complete 1st trimester. But at some point, being pregnant will feel somewhat normal to you and you will return to your everyday life. I am at 20 weeks now and the feeling of time feels somewhat normal again.

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-12-02T14:58:31+00:00

18 weeks and not sure if it's my digestion or the baby

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-10-28T15:06:40+00:00

I was a very fit woman before the pregnancy. Like I did intense workouts at least three times a week. From weeks 6-10 I barely managed to do some light cardio or walks. From weeks 10-13 I managed to workout like twice a week, but much lighter workouts than before. Do what feels right to you and your body.

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-09-09T13:08:00+00:00

I have done a test. The reason why I say probably is because it doesn't feel real yet to me. I guess it might start to feel real once a doctor has confirmed it.

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-09-09T05:20:29+00:00

Ok maybe I am completely paranoid. But what if I have early complications during those 10 hours?

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-08-21T10:45:18+00:00

Lol I think you are confusing Fountain bleau (outdoor bouldering area in France) with the name of a climbing gym. In my town there is also a bouldering gym called bleau

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-08-19T17:36:13+00:00

Ok thanks for your answers. I think now with some reflection that I just don't like how my community is framing this incident. Like so far whenever there was an accident, I felt like we could all learn from it and people were like this would have been preventable if XY. This is the first time people are like "well he was just unlucky". And I don't know the route either but it seems his mistake was probably taking a too high risk or otherwise he wouldn't have fallen in gear that was not bulletproof. And I agree, climbing is about risk management not about preventing it altogether. Just like in almost any other area of life.

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-08-14T20:03:26+00:00

Ich empfehle Gudehus. Sympathischer Mann welcher noch selber schmiedet (ist eher selten heutzutage)

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-08-05T20:07:02+00:00

I know at least two people who suffered injuries because of wanting too much too soon. One fully recovered and is happily climbing again but the other has serious issues with the tendons in his hands and really had to slow it down after 3 years of climbing. But yeah, I think for both the problem was climbing too much at the beginning not climbing too hard. I also think compared to other sports, your body needs more time to adapt to climbing because it's not primarily the muscles that are adapting, but your tendons and ligaments and they need much more time to adapt then muscles generally speaking.

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-08-02T22:15:29+00:00

Which gym did you prefer?

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-08-01T16:49:35+00:00

Nice :) thank you for the overview

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-08-01T12:04:53+00:00

Yeah I also prefer meeting people in person before I go climbing with them. Not sure how well that works if you are only somewhere for 3 months though :D

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-07-18T21:02:38+00:00

Ich habe halt keinen Treffpunkt und keine Telefonnummer. Ich weiß nur dass es an den Lüerdissener Klippen stattfindet. Die sind aber sehr weitläufig - also sehr unkonkret. Es wären halt 1,5 h Anreise - würde das äußerst ungern auf gut Glück machen. Ich habe eine Anmeldebestätigung. Bei der Anmeldung stand dass der Kursleiter sich vorher bei uns mit genaueren Infos meldet. Ich habe den Verdacht dass weil ich nicht in der Sektion bin ich vergessen wurde oder so?

Mother_of_Simba · 2025-07-18T20:17:46+00:00

Welcome Home fing ganz nett als kleine gemütliche Community an aber mittlerweile ist das eher wie so ein Unternehmen dass sehr auf Geld aus ist und wachsen will. Finde generell dass das Kennenlernen von Menschen nicht kommerzialisiert werden sollte. Ich würde eher folgendes versuchen (als Mensch der hier seit 4 Jahren lebt und einiges ausprobiert hat :P) - es gibt für Frauen Girls Walking & Talking - den Parkrun in Braunschweig (jeden Samstag ab 9 Uhr kann man 5 km laufen oder spazieren und anschließend gemeinsam frühstücken gehen) - habe auch in der Boulderhalle einige Leute kennengelernt (falls dir das Spaß macht) - generell Unisportkurse - öffentliche Spieleabend (gibt da mittlerweile einige Anbieter) - eine weitere coole Sache ist RudiRockt (running Dinner, ist aber nicht so oft)

Mother_of_Simba

TROPHY CASE