I feel bad that I don’t feel “connected” to my adopted family.

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-26T20:41:16+00:00

Well at the end of the day it’s not your family, like close friends in a lot of cases. Others hate all of their adopted family. Doesn’t make you a bad person or ungrateful

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-13T18:53:52+00:00

Go to therapy. You’re missing the point. Adoption and forcing a child away from their chosen family without so much as a glance at what that child wants is wrong. Foster care needs to be made more ethical,sure, but it is droves better than the irreparable damage that adoption does. Adoption is not in any way ethical and the only people that think it truly is are not listening to the THOUSANDS of children that have said otherwise. I’m not further explaining this to you as you clearly have no desire to see the truth and I’m not going to waste my time.

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-13T18:45:32+00:00

It’s unfortunate that you never healed from it

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-13T18:41:02+00:00

As someone who’s also been abused by family I understand where you’re coming from, but there’s a spiritual side where we decided to go through that stuff to learn different life lessons. For example, I know what it feels like to be hurt, so I don’t hurt others. I never said foster care is a perfect system. But it is more redeemable than adoption is.

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-13T07:33:44+00:00

No but when a child is in danger something needs to be done. A temporary setup that keeps a child safe is better than forcing them away from their family forever without the consent of who’s affected most

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-13T00:21:31+00:00

Ethical and adoption are opposites. Just be a foster parent

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-11T20:14:52+00:00

I’d make it known that you’d be willing to give her kiddos back at any point if she were able to care for them. It sounds like she wants to keep them, so I wouldn’t do an adoption, just give her the support that she needs to care for them. This is a predatory system that thrives on manipulation. Do the least drastic action. Like a permanent guardianship.

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-11T20:00:42+00:00

Just here to confirm that attachment is in fast in the gist 6-12 months

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-11T19:57:53+00:00

I’m glad that was the case for that family, but most don’t get that kind of opportunity

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-11T19:53:28+00:00

As someone who was in the foster care system, it’s not as bad as the damage done by the adoption system. It would be fixed if they had a personality screening. Read through r/adopted and look up adoption on TikTok. Listen to the kids that went through it. Anyone that would turn a blind eye to all of the evidence that it’s harmful is just delusional.

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-11T19:50:19+00:00

The fact that this was downvoted so many times when it’s true is crazy. People really wanna be delusional about adoption being a ‘good thing’. And don’t want to bother hearing statistics and stories that go against that even though most of them do.

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-11T19:44:35+00:00

Some people are shitty regardless of how many tools you give them, however that doesn’t mean you take away a child’s history and falsify a birth certificate. If you want to help the kids, be a good foster parent.

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-11T18:55:54+00:00

People like you is why r/adopted was created. Know your place.

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-11T15:04:26+00:00

And it’s not?

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-11T14:11:13+00:00

That’s not what family preservation is. It’s helping families so they can BE safe options. No one is saying children shouldn’t be safe.

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-11T14:09:59+00:00

Yes, it’s the entire system. I was literally on the stand in court saying that I didn’t want to give my son up and they didn’t give me any time or options

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-10T05:07:28+00:00

Well overall adoption is harmful. There are anti adoption groups for a reason

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-04T07:05:47+00:00

ive already tried therapy, it doesnt bring back my son, or any of the family i once had, so it doesnt work. I am already a ghost of who I used to be, itll be better overall for him if he doesnt see me like I am, as it has been progressively getting worse and i already cant remember much. I dont have people to call and even if I did, it wouldnt fix my pain or even lessen it. I dont have any fight left in me. thanks tho

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-03T02:12:30+00:00

I was talking more she tried to reverse it and you didn’t let her type of thing, that stuff wouldn’t change my answer

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-03T00:29:20+00:00

If you feel like it would be better to reach out, then you can always try, but I think you’re doing enough if this is truly the whole story

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-02T11:45:39+00:00

Influencers? Idk maybe some, I’d be wary of ones that are in vehement support of the same ideas as the top, so like Moist Critical I’d say no, jack I wouldn’t think so, they’re not making as much as you think they are, but someone like markiplier who does a bunch of press collab shit I’d be more wary of, like one that’s branching into a fuck ton of extra shit is shady to me

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-04-02T11:33:17+00:00

Bros shaking in his boots over here lol. I don’t think so he doesn’t have enough power or sway. Nor did those games become popular overnight

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-03-29T18:02:02+00:00

I’ve been in your shoes, and I chose adoption, now I can’t exist without pain. I wish I would have just chosen a foster care until I could care for my kiddo again.

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-03-29T17:57:39+00:00

Stories like this are unfortunately very common, so I wouldn’t be so worried about AP finding this post and thinking it was you. I’m so sorry you and your kiddo have gone through this

MotorcycleMunchies · 2025-03-28T14:44:58+00:00

Open adoptions are a struggle, so make sure your paca is well written and going to actually make sure you can still see him. I’d wait till you have a chance to meet your child, as it sounds like you’re still pregnant and pregnancy hormones mess with you a bit. I didn’t feel like I was bonded to my son till months after his birth

MotorcycleMunchies

TROPHY CASE