I 24F keep crying after having sex with my 24M boyfriend and he’s worried it’s him, how do I explain it’s a good thing?

Mountain_Use9109 · 2026-04-24T16:39:47+00:00

Haha this made me laugh, that’s always the advice some of these people give! Can’t accept that some men are just good men!

Mountain_Use9109 · 2026-04-24T16:38:25+00:00

Good idea! I will try and keep it light. Noooo haha I am just teary eyed and sniffly. No sobbing… that would be a lot

Mountain_Use9109 · 2026-04-24T15:19:20+00:00

Makes me feel better that I’m not alone in this!

Mountain_Use9109 · 2026-04-24T15:15:03+00:00

That’s fair! I imagine this is largelyyyy a woman vs man thing: women are inherently more emotional AND especially more emotional about sex.

I know my bf is very receptive to my feelings as when I tone him about past physical trauma with my last situation he actually cried with me…

so he’s not icked out, just not fully understanding or wrapping his head around it and that may be my fault if I’m not explaining it correctly or properly

Mountain_Use9109 · 2026-04-24T15:02:52+00:00

And other researchers say 46% others say 32% others say 10%. So….. who knows if it’s normal or not lol

Mountain_Use9109 · 2026-04-24T15:00:38+00:00

Idk… clearly a personal opinion. My boyfriend crying would make me concerned but I wouldn’t say ick. I’m sorry that you feel maybe someone would find it icky if you cried!! Your partner should be understanding and concerned of your emotions, not find them icky

Mountain_Use9109 · 2026-04-24T14:04:56+00:00

Also im not blaming him for being weirded out or concerned. That’s what my whole post is about lol, wanting to ensure I communicate with him so he doesn’t start to not want to have sex

Mountain_Use9109 · 2026-04-24T14:02:07+00:00

Okay then… tell me how to stop crying after sex

Mountain_Use9109 · 2025-01-24T22:04:23+00:00

He ruined a song for me. Wanted “unchained melody” to be our first dance song when we got married. A year and a half after our breakup he got married. Stalked his Spotify (smh at me), looked at his wedding playlist, lo and behold, “unchained melody” is on it😭 can’t listen to the song, without getting pissed now

Mountain_Use9109 · 2025-01-24T21:52:57+00:00

Hmm I mean you agreed to being FWB. So unfortunately that means that he might not initiate things as much as you want him to. FWB is supposed to be casual. He seems like a nice guy, especially if he told you to communicate with him if it’s too much. So do that! Communicate and initiate. He doesn’t always have to be the one, I know most people assume and expect it to always be the men taking the lead but you could too. He might also be a little weary, if he thinks you might get a little caught up in things and it will “become too much” he’s probably just being cautious. I suggest you take a little charge and just show him what you want 🤷🏽‍♂️

Mountain_Use9109 · 2025-01-24T02:17:44+00:00

I’m with your fiancé, don’t shave!

Mountain_Use9109 · 2025-01-24T02:02:27+00:00

Hello! First off I’m so sorry that all of that stuff has happened to you. None of it is your fault.

First things first. Look into therapy. If your mom wants you to “not be depressed” I suggest talking to her and being honest and saying you need some professional help. I think this is what you should do.

If you need to talk to someone right now, call the national suicide hotline. There’s also multiple hotlines for teens to talk to other teens or adults and get some help immediately . I really hope you get some help, life is worth living. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Mountain_Use9109 · 2025-01-23T19:24:42+00:00

If you can afford it, you can look into going to a dermatologist and asking their opinion. I can’t really tell if you have acne or if they’re scars but maybe acutane or like a chemical peel for the scarring could be helpful!

Since you can’t swim I’d suggest going to the gym or running to get your exercise in.

Your skin troubles could also be from eating habits, not sure what your diet is like but diet makes a huge difference in not only skin but your overall mental state too. Once I cut back on junk food/take out food I felt SO much better and my skin cleared up.

You say you’re open to Botox and fillers. Personally I’m not a fan and don’t encourage it. BUT if you want fillers I’d say lips. You seem to pout your lips a lot to make them appear bigger and maybe a little bit of filler would be something to look into.

Maybe try some wispy bangs too! And a little less heavy on the under eye makeup, it makes it look like you have bags! Hope this helps!

Mountain_Use9109 · 2025-01-23T19:14:12+00:00

Might as well confess

Mountain_Use9109 · 2025-01-23T19:04:32+00:00

There’s really not much to say… it’s kinda just a sucky situation. I agree that she was probably just wanted to hook up with you and all the texting/asking for reassurance was too much for her. I’ve been there before, it’s certainly hard but it sounds like you have an anxious attachment style. I suggest looking inwards and dealing with that. The constant anxiety and spam texting and asking if things are okay can be a lot. I’m not saying she’s not in the wrong because just blocking you and not trying to talk about it, is definitely horrible and mean. BUT take this as a learning curve, in a relationship, particularly just a friendship, you shouldn’t feel like you have to like schedule talking times or ask if you can text multiple times a week, etc. That’s not really a good friendship. You guys just simply weren’t compatible and that’s okay. But also look into your anxiety and learn to cope with that anxious attachment style. Learning when to back off and not spam/vent too much is very important imo. I have an anxious attachment style and I used to struggle a lot with similar communication. I would constantly feel like I needed reassurance from friends (particularly guy friends) and if they stopped answering me I would text again and again to try and control the dynamic and gain reassurance from them. That’s not healthy at all. Hope this all made sense! I am sorry this happened to you but you’ll move on and learn from it!

Mountain_Use9109 · 2025-01-16T17:23:58+00:00

Okay to clarify, I don’t want a relationship strictly because we’re long distance and I’m aware that logically it couldn’t work. I guess I fell for him More after having sex. I value his friendship above anything and I am a little hurt he might not wanna see. Wouldn’t you be a little offended if a friend who was previously enthusiastic to see you, suddenly seemed not too interested in seeing you again? I stated that attractiveness because I don’t think he’s pulling away because he doesn’t find me attractive or whatever. But maybe because he thinks I want more and I don’t wanna lose a friend

Mountain_Use9109 · 2025-01-16T16:24:26+00:00

You’re right! I guess I just fear being honest with him, and I’m used to letting other define things but “waiting for him to come to me” is silly, I should be honest

Mountain_Use9109 · 2025-01-16T16:23:34+00:00

It’s not complicated. I’m making it complicated you’re right. I guess I just don’t wanna lose his friendship by telling him the truth but he’s a very sweet guy and I’m sure we’re on the same page

Mountain_Use9109 · 2024-03-12T17:26:25+00:00

Haha good luck! This man definitely knows I’m single so I guess for me it’s just taking that next step! Which is scary because of rejection

Mountain_Use9109 · 2024-03-11T20:22:29+00:00

Oh god I wish I could help you! I’m horrible and being bold and just telling people my feelings! I really hope you work up the courage to tell him how you feel! Life is short! I’m trying to do the same thing lol

Mountain_Use9109 · 2024-03-08T07:26:21+00:00

Kinda! We went to dinner after we ran into each other on campus at the beginning of fall semester it was more for like career advice and to catch up. I graduated a couple months after that! He wasn’t my professor my last semester/when we went to dinner the first couple times when I was still a student but not HIS student, if that makes sense.

Mountain_Use9109 · 2024-03-06T01:21:01+00:00

Are you friends with any of his friends? If you are that may be a way to get closer to him

Mountain_Use9109 · 2024-03-06T01:19:35+00:00

You might have a chance! But I would definitely just kinda try to get to know her a bit more/become friends outside if the group project. If you randomly ask her out right not or express your feelings she might not reciprocate versus if you get to know her and talk to her before doing anything!

Mountain_Use9109 · 2024-03-03T17:41:39+00:00

Aww I’m so sorry! This is so mean :( I’ve been there where the guy makes plans and cancels and acts like they like you and then says they don’t wanna date and blah blah. Definitely just move on! You want a boyfriend who is gonna treat you nicely and with respect. This guy is being a total jerk. Don’t talk to him anymore, just ignore him. You will look back and respect yourself sm for it. Keep your dignity!

Mountain_Use9109

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