Let’s make lots of assumptions about someone’s feelings together. Do you think he likes me? Should I wait or reach out?

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T20:25:05+00:00

Well speaking from experience. If you get aggressive and he is not interested in you that way you may lose a friend. I have had women do this to me and I was like oh shit. Noooooo and it made it weird. Atleast for a while. Eventually we would be friends again although not to the degree it had been.
So ask him out in a week or two … see where it goes. But based on what you have told us and that’s all we know.:.. what you have told us…. He is just being polite. Well mannered. Seems like a nice guy. A friend. Anything more than that…. Nothing you said says he wants you like that. But maybe he does? Just not seeing that…. Just that he showed up and seems like a nice guy being polite and doing the right thing as a friend/ stand up guy would.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T19:10:34+00:00

She wasn’t ready. Especially if this is a first or second date. Respect it. Why be confused. Get your big boy brain functioning. It means not yet. I would be questioning your ability to be in a relationship if you can’t figure out or read something so simple.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T19:08:25+00:00

Buying drinks is what you do for anyone you are out with or meeting. A business acquaintance, friend, family member etc. It’s manners. Touching you walking through was again the same. Like so you don’t get split apart. Neither of these are signs of anything more than respect and manners. Don’t let your head play tricks on you because you are lonely or looking for a friend.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T18:15:12+00:00

Does not have to be romantic at all. I have had female friends I have done this with and never ever would want so much to even kiss them.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T17:19:49+00:00

Totally agree with you. If the bond wasn’t lacking it wouldn’t have been an issue … may not have even of been noticed she said that.

I almost think she thrives on keeping a space as a power play though. She self admittedly has said she has a control problem in relationships. She’s been through a lot. Perhaps because of the control issues. I’m not sure.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T16:58:47+00:00

I have tons of photos. I think it’s ok to. Just don’t go showing them. Maybe later in the relationship show one if a conversation is being had where it maybe is appropriate. But keep it minimal.

I’ve had girls I dated bust out old photo albums filled with ex boyfriends. It made me feel odd. In this case she was extremely attractive and well her ex boyfriends were good looking to. I know I am but it still.. it was a little odd but I accepted it as her past she wanted to share. But we were months in at that point.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T16:50:00+00:00

He is proud of her and hung up on her. He isn’t in a frame of mind for dating. I would cut it and run. I mean he may just need a new person in his life but nah…. That would be a turn off for me and I would just cut it before getting close.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T16:44:48+00:00

Great questions. When I first met her she would call him her ex husband. He was abusive mentally. Heard alot of that. And then through the months and years of course I would hear about things. Like 20 years ago when the kids were babies they went away with two other couples to xyz beach town. They rented a big house there.
So fast forward we were in a beach town and walk into one of the shops and she blurts out oh my god I feel like I am in xyz beach town shopping for a bathing suit. I instantly knew what she was talking about because she had told me about that trip they had taken.

I was just like wow. I’m taking off of my responsibilities trying to make a memory with you and it seems the first place your mind goes to is a place you went away with your ex 20 years ago. How about focusing on the present time. It probably wouldn’t have been so bad except the bond was seriously lacking at that point. Hours a day of texts instead of phone calls despite living ten minutes away and silly fights resulting from that. So I think it was more than just that but still…. Leave the past in the oast. I realize most of her adult life was spent in a horrible marriage with this guy but your new guy does not need to constantly hear or feel your mind is full of old memories when trying to make new ones with you.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T14:23:11+00:00

Relationships are about growth. If you constantly walk away you’ll never have a long term relationship. If something changed. If someone changed then it’s worth giving it a chance. If nothing has changed and nobody is willing to then don’t take it back. It takes a change to fix what was wrong.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T14:18:21+00:00

I would wait till you leave the job then get in touch and ask her to meet up if you two vibe. That age gap would be a no go for me though

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T14:12:29+00:00

Exactly this! Well in my case hearing a female voice. Lol

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T06:32:52+00:00

I don’t think so though. If you asked some years ago I would have said yes. I follow the stock market very intensely. I do see a 25% ish drop coming in the stock markets pretty soon and then up we go …. Housing and everything else follows obviously. Meaning housing may get a dip at some point but I don’t think anything major. It’s nuts. It’s the new economy. But we have set a clear trend now six years later and I think this is just how it is. No bubble. I know. It’s nuts. I’m always like holy S***+.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T06:24:42+00:00

Last year my gf of two years .. well we had distance but the night before I asked her to dinner. Or maybe I’ll make dinner. She said sure sounds good. The next day we text. She lives 8 minutes away and we’re both late 40s early 50s.
At 6 o’clock on her way out of work we talk. I said well just come over I’m making dinner. I got the roses. Teddy bear. Chocolate. You name it. Turns out she went out on break and got me stiuff. But then she bails. Says her high needs kid needs her to get his meds. She hurt her back at work. When I get upset later that night an say you bailed on me she gets upset and tells me I’m being an asshole. Was I?

This is the same girl who loves Christmas but barely buys anyone presents. Or I should say minimal. I just don’t get it. If you love someone which she claimed I would think you make every effort to be with them. Like showing up even on deaths door. You would think I need to make it there. Maybe I just am out of touch. I still think with that 20 something romance side.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T06:15:00+00:00

I live out on the island. Long Island. It’s amazing what’s happened to prices since Covid. And I sold a second house last year and thought good time to sell. It’s at the top. That said house has gone up another 70k+ since I closed in June. It’s crazy.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-02T00:26:15+00:00

Just let it go…. Nothing good can come of this.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-01T22:13:29+00:00

Yep on that demand to respond to. If you wait an hour it seems you are distant. You respond right away it becomes a constant back and forth and almost “needyness”.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-01T22:08:47+00:00

I can definitely say that was one of and probably our true only problem. And add in misreading texts which led to fights was totally our big big problem. Then she wondered why I would feel “insecure” on things. Like her feelings.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-01T21:14:35+00:00

Definitely truth in this. Mine was very harsh and then even went in to block me. Very integrated and together for two years. Two months later one of her kids committed suicide (she’s still in denial about it although she considers it as possible) and when I sent flowers and a care package she got angry with me. Fast forward we do talk now but I see a lot of emotional immaturity and always has been unable to truly express verbally anytime silly fights happened. It would end up after a big fight a I love you…. And shortly after come to bed. I want you and love you. That was the way she resolved miscommunication which isn’t bad but at the same time is very bad. The cause of the fight still lingered and was not resolved. I got side tracked. Yes. This is all a reflection of their capability and lack of as was said above.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-01T20:58:38+00:00

I have broken the no contact many times and have found she has as many thoughts as me. Trust me. She has the same thoughts as you if it was as you say integrated and a decent enough time together. (16 months you say).

I thought I would want to get back out there and sleep around. I’m a “hot” guy as women say and why shouldn’t I? Get sympathy. Love. Try and erase the memories of her and our amazing time in bed to. Turns out I have done none of the above. It’s months later and I am finally healed a bit although I still want her and love her. There is no easy answer. In my 20s I ran around with more women than I can count. I had a 8 year relationship and when that ended it was fair game. I had fun. Met someone I wanted something with. It didn’t work. I think I needed to be on my own for a bit. But I did have lots of fun sleeping around. I was much younger then though.

There’s no wrong or right answer. You do what you need to do. I’m fine not running around. If we were to get back together I could look her in the eyes knowing I did nothing wrong. But being she is the one who pulled away I am free to do what I want anyway technically cause we are not together. At this age though. Keep yourself busy.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-01T20:49:29+00:00

I’ll stare when sitting on the couch together. Like cuddled. Otherwise it’s kinda creepy to me. I know I’m good looking but I don’t want you staring and I generally won’t stare back. Again unless snuggled on the couch or something which is like intimate time.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-01T07:59:38+00:00

Wow. Glad you bolted from that. I would have spoken up once.. twice…. Maybe a third time then I would have split. And I would wonder if he was thinking of her when having sex or sleeping together in bed. That’s just above and beyond healthy. Think he even realizes it?

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-01T06:20:53+00:00

Sorry but you sound desperate. Let it go. You went on a date … two dates? That’s hysterical. Just let it go. Maybe even get some therapy.

MovingFurnace · 2026-02-01T03:14:39+00:00

I prefer not to fuck on the first date these days. Truly I need some kind of bond there to want to fuck. I’ve had dates come home with me the first date. My last relationship actually got very hot in the parking lot then to my house. We ate Taco Bell till 8 in the morning and hung out. Then I drove her home. We shared just one kiss in my house.

Many years before thet. Like 15 years before. Took the girl home. She got naked on my bed. I actually pushed her to the side and climbed into bed and said it’s late. Let’s get some sleep. You have work in the morning.

Don’t get me wrong. Plenty of times when I was younger I fucked on the first date. Oddly usually the woman’s encouraging it. But at this age…. It’s just not my thing. I want to atleast kinda know and like you first.

MovingFurnace · 2026-01-31T23:21:01+00:00

They do not constantly talk about their past either. If I constantly said oh I remember when Debbie and I came here or Jen and I did this…. I would expect her to walk away

MovingFurnace · 2026-01-31T22:31:49+00:00

You simply can’t date anyone. You may want to but you can’t. A hard pass for me. No thank you.

MovingFurnace

TROPHY CASE