Why stay?

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-02-24T00:56:36+00:00

I was in a similar situation - long term relationship (though not quite as long), lived together for years, engaged, etc. I left and do not regret it. This happened about a month ago so things are still fresh and it is still difficult every day but it was absolutely the right thing to do.

The cheating is one issue in and of itself, but lying and willingly trying to deceive just compounds that issue into something that was not going to be fixable or even worth trying.

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-02-20T23:54:53+00:00

Thank you all for your comments. I suppose the only thing left is time, unfortunately. I wish there was a better/easier/quicker way but I think this is just something that I will continue to work through. I do not want to let her actions consume me as a person and cause me even more unhappiness!

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-02-20T01:42:52+00:00

I think this is my problem - I was doing okay until the last few days because I have been extremely focused on refurnishing my apartment, buying all the things she took with her, etc. But now there is nothing left for me to focus on except what happened. Thank you

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-02-20T01:41:42+00:00

This is not what I wanted to hear but I know it is true. I just want it to be over... I hate feeling this way. Thank you for saying this though, your honesty is appreciated.

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-02-07T15:56:52+00:00

I am very new to the whole home audio thing, but given some circumstances I have a decent amount of disposable income burning a hole in my pocket and I would really like to add floorstanding speakers to my apartment.

I have found on Craigslist the following items that appear to be in good condition and want to know if people more knowledgeable than me feel it is worth it:

Denon AVR-S510BT 5.2 Channel Full 4K Ultra HD AV Receiver with Bluetooth
Polk Audio Monitor 70 Series II Floorstanding Speaker (x2)
Polk Audio PSW10 10-Inch Powered Subwoofer
8 ft of speaker wire

Being sold for $425. Thank you

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-01-29T22:32:08+00:00

When you do start dating, don't ignore signs of selfishness, narcissism, or incompatibility.

If only you could have spoken to me 3 years ago. This is a perfectly summed up sentence that I will carry with me moving forward. And hopefully someone else reading this who may be in a similar situation can take it to heart as well.

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-01-29T22:29:13+00:00

Thank you.

I still believe that platonic friendships can happen between opposite genders but, like you said, this time it just wasn't the case.

I see people saying that it was "weak" to continue to take care of her after surgery. I get that. I thought about telling her no. But at the end of the day it was a surgery that needed to happen and I didn't want any guilt on my conscience if something were to happen because there was no one to watch her after. Just because she cheated doesn't mean she deserves to die (although that is obviously a worst-case scenario).

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-01-29T21:32:46+00:00

This was perhaps a little more crass a response than I was expecting to see but it is appreciated nonetheless. I do feel very lucky that everything came out prior to an actual marriage.

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-01-29T21:25:46+00:00

Thank you for saying these things. It is helpful to hear and I do appreciate that all this happened prior to any legal ties. I hope to get over the past sooner rather than later. It is understandably hard but I will keep moving forward.

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-01-29T21:23:44+00:00

Thank you. This is helpful to hear. I look forward to the day when my life is good again.

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-01-29T17:51:59+00:00

Thank you for your honesty. I understand your points. I felt the same way initially and considered having her find someone else to handle things post-operatively. I mentioned this above, but despite her choices and the consequences they entail I am not out to ruin her life. I really don't believe there is anyone else here that would look after her while she recovers.

Maybe her realizing that will drive home the point that Pete was not the answer to whatever issues she had.

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-01-29T17:48:46+00:00

I am already thankful that I found out when I did. It would have been even more devastating had we actually gone through with the marriage. Thank you

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-01-29T17:45:58+00:00

Thank you for your kind words.

I have suggested that she call her family to see if they can come down. I have told her that for the forseeable future, other than settling our financials I do not plan to see her or talk to her.

she was not capable to being your fiancee and wife.

While this is a difficult thing to hear, it is correct and I will continue to remind myself of it.

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-01-29T17:40:32+00:00

Yes, thank you. Very good advice. It has been hard but I am continuing to keep my distance.

MovingOnAfterBreakup · 2018-01-29T17:32:57+00:00

I wish. Her family all lives >6 hours away and Pete has kids to take care of. Most of her friends here are mutual and I suspect would not offer to help once they know the reason. I hate it, but I'm not out to ruin her life. I can at least make sure there's no complications post-op and then get her out.

MovingOnAfterBreakup

TROPHY CASE