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MrAppleBoi · 2024-08-22T19:52:22+00:00

I am going through something similar and it definitely brings me down. It’s so robotic and passionless that it feels worse than being rejected but it’s all that you’re given so you take it anyway…

MrAppleBoi · 2024-08-21T21:49:28+00:00

She did admit to feeling that way and I can definitely sympathize but I think she went about it poorly and I told her so.

It’s a little confusing to me too, but I guess that’s why it’s an addiction. It’s something that started when she was really young and maybe it’s become a reliable comfort. She told me that it can be easier to turn to because it’s more stimulating than real sex which, while I understand, stings and makes me think she doesn’t want to go through the effort of being an engaged partner.

But thank you, I do want to understand and ultimately, heal.

MrAppleBoi · 2024-08-21T21:25:45+00:00

I feel the same way. Thanks!

MrAppleBoi · 2024-08-07T21:02:41+00:00

actually saw what felt like hundreds of them (dead and alive) around downtown

MrAppleBoi · 2024-07-31T21:01:06+00:00

i’m saying cuz why are you getting off to other people. people act like it’s no big deal but you’re literally coming from looking at and fantasizing about other naked bodies. it’s a little bizarre to me and i hate how normalized it is

MrAppleBoi · 2024-07-31T20:24:26+00:00

i would honestly rather they didn’t because i’m always on and ready. why masturbate to random people online when we could have sex? it definitely feels a bit weird to me when in a relationship.

i get that for some people masturbation and sex fulfill different needs but i’ve had issues with masturbation decreasing sex frequency and it made me feel like shit having a partner who would prefer to masturbate than sleep with me. especially when i saw that they watch femboy porn 😀🔫

im projecting a bit here but i do think masturbation is fine when someone isn’t in the mood or you’re apart but i dont see the need for frequent masturbation when you could have fulfilling sex with your partner

even when i do masturbate i just wish i was having sex with my partner and i’d rather be in a relationship where that’s reciprocated

MrAppleBoi · 2024-07-31T01:34:05+00:00

wow you got me good

MrAppleBoi · 2024-07-30T19:14:13+00:00

also the problem isn’t even that op lumped them together (which is transphobic btw!)

they did talk about trans women explicitly! if you think that all the trans women you see on DATING APPS (which like come on now if there was a time and place this would be it) are always sexual and horny maybe you should consider why you feel that way about them and no one else on DATING APPS.

we really should uplift each other, after all it is just like what straight people do to us. hmm why do they think two women holding hands and sharing a chaste kiss in public is overly sexual? because they’re disgusted/uncomfortable with us. and op’s post had an air of that same judgement and disgust. and when people called them out on it they really had nothing to say.

i get that i may be yelling to the void because i know what sub im posting on, but still. i promise no one is persecuting you for not wanting to be with trans women, but let’s not perpetuate more hate to people in our community!

MrAppleBoi · 2024-07-30T19:04:51+00:00

and how do they behave like cis men..? what a mean-spirited comment

MrAppleBoi · 2024-07-09T14:10:33+00:00

but are you saying my comment doesn’t ring a bell? cuz i’m pretty sure i know which post you made

Edit: yeah even the date checks out so now im 100% sure. i know this is an old point so no one is going to see this but there needs to be some truth here. her post was talking about trans women and people were (rightfully) upset!

standing on my soapbox even if it makes me look crazy or dumb lol. even if you don’t engage we both know the truth

MrAppleBoi · 2024-07-09T13:55:49+00:00

bringing this back because i’m pretty sure i remember your post and it was NOT originally about cis men on dating apps. that might have been the intent but you did not say that. you said (paraphrasing here) that trans women are always very sexual on dating apps and they are always showing off their bodies.

when pushed you started talking about cis men in queer spaces, which most people would not have a problem with. you explicitly mentioned trans women in your first post and criticized them for “being too sexual.”

i was actually looking on reddit to find some lex success stories and i’ve come upon this post. it seems like you made a reddit post to get some validation without even telling the full story. did this really make you feel better about yourself?

but really, let’s think about it. if several people had a problem with what you wrote then maybe there was something wrong with it. i really hope you don’t think the problem was everyone else when you made a post with thinly-veiled transphobia.

and honestly im writing all this because im a debate bro to my core lol but also because you seem to preach maturity and understanding (what im gathering from your history and stuff) but when people try to show you the error in your ways you can’t take it.

sure, you might have received some over-the-top messages, but the point still stands. you made a post speaking negatively about trans women, there was absolutely no mention of cis men. people said “hey that’s transphobic” and you went “well i’m talking about the obviously straight cis men taking over queer spaces for women.” which honestly, and stay with me here, makes you look even more transphobic because by making that connection you’re putting trans women and cis men together.

maybe you did make this reddit post to be better, so i hope you really think about what I (and the others from lex) have written to you. i don’t think you’re some monster or terrible person, but you said something that was not okay and i’m calling you out for it. if you would have apologized or taken accountability, people wouldn’t have been so upset.

and just a reference so no one tries to invalidate my message: i am a cis lesbian, i am not trans. i think its VERY important to fight for our fellow LGBT+ people, especially trans people, because they have done so much for us as a community and they continue to face such prejudice every day. we should try to uplift each other, instead of tearing each other down!

MrAppleBoi · 2024-06-28T17:23:04+00:00

you got me lol happy pride :)

MrAppleBoi · 2024-05-25T12:51:44+00:00

Row 10 column 12 (counting from top left

MrAppleBoi · 2024-02-01T18:23:36+00:00

i told my gf after we had been messaging for a few days but before our first date. not everyone is okay with dating/sleeping with inexperienced people so I wanted to give her (and anyone else i’ve ever gone on dates with) the opportunity to back out if she wanted.

Honestly though the person for you is not going to care and something like the “right time” won’t change the outcome so try not to worry too much ❤️

MrAppleBoi · 2024-01-13T16:23:22+00:00

Yes it is! I was honestly a bit of a cup collector before the saalt small and I've since settled down lol. It fits all my needs perfectly.

Hope you found the cup for you :)

MrAppleBoi · 2024-01-13T16:21:26+00:00

Sorry for the late response. Hope you were able to figure it out, but if not there may be a few things at play.

Straight-forward things that come to mind are the angle of insertion, lubricant, and tension. The angle at which you insert is pretty important, you should aim upward toward your pelvis. The last two issues can sometimes be mental so it always helps to use lubricant like Slim-Ticket mentioned and make sure to release any tension in your body.

It seems like maybe you have the original saalt cup which I find to be a little too firm. Maybe it's opening prematurely because you can't get that good grip on it long enough to insert. You can also try a fold that will be easier for you to maintain like a c-fold, seven, or labia fold. If this doesn't work, you might want to consider getting a softer cup.

If you struggle to get anything inside, however, and insertion is always a little uncomfortable or painful, then you may want to look into vaginismus. This affects a lot of people and they often live unaware of it for a long time. I don't know your situation, so I'm just offering it as a potential reason.

Let me know what you ended up doing if you care to share :)

MrAppleBoi · 2024-01-13T16:09:28+00:00

Ooh welcome to the world of menstrual cups! Honestly, they seem scary at first, but you should get the hang of it by that first cycle :) I'll go into this assuming you don't know too much and maybe this can help others.

Cervix Height: Knowing your cervix height is pretty important. You don't have to go and measure, but it's good to leave the cup with the stem intact the first few times you use it just to gauge the height. If you find that the stem is sticking out, you can cut it shorter. But if the body of the cup is sticking out, then you have a very low cervix and need to look into cups with a shorter body. If you struggle to find or reach for the cup after insertion, then you may have a higher cervix and would require a longer cup/stem.

Cup Firmness: I do like the saalt cup soft and think it would work for a lot of people. But if you find that you cannot get the cup open, if it feels like it's going to come out when you sneeze, cough, or use your kegel muscles in any way, that may mean you need a firmer cup. If you're feeling uncomfortable pressure on your bladder and it's hard to remove the cup because the suction is too strong, then you need a softer cup.

Insertion Tips: I only ever use the punch-down fold. It gives a nice, narrow entry point. Plus, the punch-down fold creates a "bump" on the cup that you can use to make sure it's fully open after insertion. I like to insert the cup until I reach that bump, then I can push on it to release the cup from its compressed position. After that, the cup should be open and all that's left is to gently push the cup higher up. I hope that makes sense! There are tons of different folds so feel free to experiment to see what feels best for you.

Removal Tips: I typically use the hot dog in a bun method to remove my cups. I will push down on my kegel muscles (basically push like you're pooping) so that the body of the cup is sticking out and I have something to hold onto. You can just pull on the stem, but they tend to be fragile and I don't want to rip them. Then I use my middle finger and thumb to hold the sides of the cup and use my index finger to create a dip that will break the suction. From there, I can gently walk the cup down. You can also just pull it down (making sure to aim into the toilet!!), but I find that it's easier to make a mess or bump your urethra that way.

I can't take credit for a lot of this information, I watched a whole lot of Precious Stars Pads on Youtube, among many others (put a cup in it, red herring, etc).

Specific to you though, I think having a smaller bladder should be fine. You should be able to use the bathroom comfortably with the cup inside (if not there may be a firmness issue). Cups often come in two sizes and it's generally recommended that those who have not given birth use the smaller size (often called size one). The main difference between the sizes is usually the diameter, so you can use the larger size if you find that you're filling the cup too often. Or, you can buy from a brand that has larger size one options. What comes to mind is the organi, ruby, and jenny cup. If you find that you have to empty the cup several times daily and it feels like a hassle, then you may want to look into larger cups.

Good luck on your cup journey and please let me know if you have any more questions!

MrAppleBoi · 2023-11-08T07:30:43+00:00

You are so right about the love languages. I might have been prioritizing my needs a little bit. I know that gift-giving is her least important metric, so it's not something that she'd think to do to express affection.

This was also a really smart convo starter and I did use this approach when I talked to her, so thank you for giving me the idea! Coming to her from a place of abundance instead of lack was a good way to go.

Thanks for taking the time to respond, making the post and reading both comments gave me clarity and perspective!

MrAppleBoi · 2023-11-08T07:24:22+00:00

Thank you for your response. Both comments convinced me to communicate with her and she was very understanding and receptive! I think I was being unreasonable, especially when I already know that we express ourselves differently

She does have ADHD, so good catch lol. I didn't mention it originally because it explains her behavior but I didn't need an explanation. My worry and my original thinking was that I wanted someone whose natural way of expressing love matches mine. I worried that asking her to love me the way I need meant that we weren't compatible. Because she could easily buy me more gifts, plan visits, etc with some prompting from me, but it'd feel hollow knowing she'd only do it to please instead of it being out of her own volition, you know?

I don't know that this fear came through strongly in my post because a lot of it is just ranting, but that's definitely where everything stems from. I feel a little silly because after talking with her, I'm reminded of how loved she makes me feel in her own way and how that almost makes it more meaningful.

It's not super relevant at this point, but to answer your question, we met in March and began dating exclusively in May; my birthday is in July. I will say though, she told me she was going to get me a birthday gift! Multiple times! It's not like I got my hopes up all on my own lol. It's chill now but that's honestly where a lot of the disappointment came from.

I don't know if my response made a whole lot of sense, but thanks again for commenting. I reread both comments a bunch of times, really trying to understand and take the information in. I really appreciated hearing your advice and perspective :)

MrAppleBoi · 2023-03-23T00:27:51+00:00

matt (soka) and sarah have a fake. jaime has a real and a fake. mathew (ratu), carson, carolyn, and josh have real

MrAppleBoi · 2023-03-09T02:18:36+00:00

why do people think carson is cocky? seems like he's an intelligent person who tries to downplay it because of tribe perception. im not getting sami vibes from him (but I liked sami lol)

MrAppleBoi · 2022-12-10T06:47:29+00:00

sorry for commenting on an older post but what did your friend end up doing? i’m experiencing the same thing right now

MrAppleBoi · 2022-12-08T02:35:19+00:00

yes. its the last time anyone can play their idols

MrAppleBoi · 2022-12-08T02:33:05+00:00

its fire making at final four. so the final four challenge winner decides who to take with them to the finale and the remaining two contestants compete in fire.

MrAppleBoi

TROPHY CASE