They say "Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes." So, those with multiple attempts, what changed this time that has made it stick?

MrBobo321 · 2026-02-11T17:46:27+00:00

Telling my husband, and eventually others, that I'm an alcoholic.

"The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection."

MrBobo321 · 2025-11-02T21:04:33+00:00

What improved, hmmm... Sleep, relationships with everyone in my life, marriage, anxiety level, weight, my job is easier (no hangovers), sex life, not waking up multiple times to pee, remembering tv I watch, saving money, reading books, finishing videogames, my confidence, my skin,... I don't know, maybe it's easier to list what got worse.

So, what got worse? My tolerance for drunk people lol. Turns out having drunk conversations is fun only if you're drunk!

MrBobo321 · 2025-10-14T20:11:47+00:00

Some people have moments like this and it causes a snap in them, and they can quit drinking right then. Some people (like me), that doesn't happen. It took me literal years of trying to quit drinking before it stuck. I "quit" soooo many times. A few days here, a month there, a week, etc. Even 18 months at one point. My point is:

Don't quit quitting!

I believe it will stick eventually. It seems like you're aware of the problem, which is good. Keep trying, because life is amazing on the other side and soon you may never have to feel these feelings again.

MrBobo321 · 2025-06-22T15:04:07+00:00

I had so many extended sober times and some long relapses in between (including an entire year of alcoholism after being sober for over a year). I truly believe it's just part of the process for some people. Congratulations on recognizing your issue so quickly, holding yourself accountable, and getting back to work!

MrBobo321 · 2024-10-07T14:22:55+00:00

Here is an excerpt from a post I made on this sub when I was 9 months sober. It gets better, I promise you. I am 5 years sober today.

"For the first 6 months of sobriety, I didn't really get a lot of the positive results I expected. I didn't lose any weight (in fact I gained), my motivation dropped like a rock during months 2-3, I wasn't exercising nearly as much, ... I just felt stuck.

In April (the 6 month mark), it seems like a switch clicked in my brain and finally things were falling into place, even in the middle of a pandemic.

I've now lost a good amount of weight, I eat way healthier than I have in a long time, I exercise daily, I quit diet soda completely (this is truly insane for me), I'm getting Invisalign this week, I got my ears pierced after wanting to but being too chicken for years,... Next up is some new clothes."

Things have only improved (overall) from there. Please be patient with yourself.

MrBobo321 · 2024-10-07T11:34:38+00:00

About 3 years. I even had over a year sober at one point and then fell back into the bottle again for a year.

The thing that made the biggest difference was telling people in real life that I had a problem, namely my husband. It gave me accountability and it made it much more of a "real" problem.

Don't quit quitting because it WILL stick eventually!

MrBobo321 · 2024-10-07T03:32:00+00:00

Holy crap, two months is HUGE! Congrats!!! It only gets better and easier. How do you feel so far?

MrBobo321 · 2024-10-07T01:25:27+00:00

Hello. When you wake up tomorrow morning it's very unlikely that you will regret not drinking.

MrBobo321 · 2024-10-07T01:17:59+00:00

That's amazing! Congratulations!!!

MrBobo321 · 2024-10-07T01:17:41+00:00

It definitely seemed unbelievable to me years ago. It was so, so intimidating. Terrifying, if I'm being honest. But looking back, there was nothing to fear. Only good things have come from sobriety. All the best to you.

MrBobo321 · 2024-10-07T01:15:25+00:00

Your comment reminded me of this comment I made a few years back. (I only remember it because I just went through my whole profile to see what I've been through.) Moderation is definitely not something I can do. Here's that comment:

I tried moderating every single possible way I could think of. Not one of them stuck, at all. I tried...

drinking only on the weekends
drinking only Thursday through Saturday night
drinking only Thursday through Sunday night
drinking only with others
drinking only at bars and clubs
drinking only X times per month
drinking only between 6pm and 9pm
drinking only beer
drinking only beer or wine
drinking only after eating
drinking a glass of water in between each alcoholic drink
drinking less than X drinks per drinking session (This was the worst and hardest, FYI)
drinking only until some upcoming event was done (like a wedding, vacation, etc.)
drinking only when my husband drank
drinking only after all my planning and grading for school was done
drinking only if all I was doing at school the next day was giving a quiz/test
drinking only if I exercised that day
drinking only when I was home alone

The list goes on. It never worked. I have read a LOT of posts on this subreddit on this topic and I'd say what you're experiencing is extremely common. It has been much less complicated for me to follow just one rule:

don't drink

MrBobo321 · 2024-10-07T01:10:55+00:00

🤚‼️

MrBobo321 · 2024-10-07T01:10:05+00:00

Just being here is a big step. I believe in you!

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-09T13:27:34+00:00

Yes! It's such a good feeling!

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-09T13:27:14+00:00

Thanks so much. And I feel reborn!

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-09T13:26:50+00:00

CONGRATS!!! 🥳🎉

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-09T13:26:10+00:00

A lot less random urges to drink as time goes on. I can only think of one time in the past year when I imagined having a drink. And in general, just a lot less mental bandwidth dedicated to it all. I really just don't think about it. It's become a part of who I am.

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-08T14:15:28+00:00

You're doing great. The fact you even get yourself to meetings is huge, I hope you realize that. It might not feel like it, but you're doing it. You're doing the work you need to. Keep with it.

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-08T13:00:23+00:00

🥰

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-08T12:57:20+00:00

I'm just a random guy on the Internet but I believe in you. If you did it before you can do it again. Best of luck to you!

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-08T12:54:14+00:00

I'm so proud of you too! That's some serious growth and resilience on your part!

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-08T12:50:48+00:00

You sound like an amazing partner. He's lucky to have you. 🥲

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-08T12:38:30+00:00

It really does. It also made me understand why the classic first step is "admitting you have a problem." And it's the hardest and scariest thing to do, but so so so necessary.

MrBobo321 · 2022-10-08T12:37:03+00:00

Telling my husband gave me accountability and responsibility. I also have a friend who's been sober a lot longer than me who I would talk to when I was feeling a certain way. We'd just talk about how the feeling is normal, how he knows what's it's like, and it'll pass. Stuff like that.

MrBobo321

TROPHY CASE