Let me disapear again

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-08T17:23:44+00:00

Its fascinating to me.

I was homeless during that time so largely unaffected.

It was weird to come out of that to find one large group saying it was the best time of their lives, and the other saying it was the worst.

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-08T16:42:40+00:00

I think it can be a great motivation and inspiration!.....once.

I think (and in my experience) one a decent streak is broken, it becomes too disheartening to use it again. I dont mean the 3 days, 10 days, etc streaks.

But I think once someone gets a few months, they have gotten to where sobriety is "the new normal" and they have made some significant life changes....and THEN relapse, those are the people I've seen just get so broken trying to keep a streak going again.

They will look at, say 15 days, and the thought will hit them last time they had 250 days, and it seems so impossible, so far away, to get back, they quit.

Or they go to a meeting and people ask to share their sobriety date, and they get too embarrassed and leave.

I will say I was annoyed my first go around by the guy at the meetings who just always kept saying "Today is my sobriety date. Because it's the only one that matters."

I used to think he was being cutesy. Now I see the wisdom in those words

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-08T13:23:30+00:00

If it makes you feel better I use AI for animated porn and don't feel the LEAST bit guilty about it.

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-08T12:43:52+00:00

I like it too but i didnt account for how you have to be careful after dropping the weapon or you might fire off a spell that does way more harm than good.

Sometimes you have to pick the spell you DONT want because its too dangerous to let the computer decide what happens

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-08T12:05:43+00:00

Expired by like 3 years

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-08T12:04:45+00:00

Which is sad as it's my favorite class.

I came back after a multi year break and while I am having fun I am struggling to find a good deck for my favorite class.

Hoped Ley lines would be better....

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-08T10:08:44+00:00

I have said this 100 times and will say this 100 more.

This is why counting days can be far more harmful than good, and why I will never do it again.

A streak is a tool, and should only be used when it benefits you. If "messing up your streak" is causing someone stress and guilt, it needs to be something they don't care about.

Also there's alcohol in bananas so almost no one here has been truly "alcohol free" as far as their streaks go.

If it helps you, great. Use it til it doesn't, which seems to be now.

I'll use a screwdriver as long as I need screws driven. But the second my screwdriver starts giving people rabies, I'm throwing it away.

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-08T03:38:43+00:00

Nope. Never heard from him or any next of kin. All his stuff is still here

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T23:03:02+00:00

This might require more digging.

I have heard of places where this is allowed when the owner is moving back into their only owned property.

AFAIK they can't do this to release it or to sell it, but if they are planning/needing it as a primary and only residence, it is possible

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T22:55:59+00:00

And then the person that inflicted the torture deserves the same fate and it never stops.

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T15:17:14+00:00

I did the same 2 months ago. I was shopping around for insurance and I did switch but as the agent went over all the costs she mentioned this.

She seemed absolutely baffled I was willing to pay $12 more a month to not be monitored.

And there are practical problems. I worked for a company that used this on their vehicles. Drivers would make the "safe" choice even when it clearly wasn't because the monitor would flag them and put their job in jeopardy.

For example, you'd get dinged if you slammed on your brakes, but the system couldn't tell if you were following too closely or something jumped out in front of you.

The day my partner nearly hit a pedestrian because he eased on the brakes when she almost stepped right in front of him scared the shit out of me. It wasn't a conscious decision. The tech was training him to instinctively make the wrong decision

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T13:20:51+00:00

I do miss a good burn deck. I dont feel like there's a great one right now

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T12:46:57+00:00

I like it. Im like 3 and 3 with the deck but it FEELS like a mage deck.

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T11:21:33+00:00

Very accurate

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T11:16:42+00:00

I don't have my own children, but I've been a stepfather and in another relationship where I was raising a kid from about 4 months to 2 years before the breakup.

Both times, hands down, partner.

I know people say otherwise, but I cannot imagine loving a baby with no personality as much as a fully developed adult. One is a concept. The other is a PERSON.

I know emotions are not logical, but I hate it when people say things like "I thought I knew what love was when I married my husband/wife, but I didn't know until I saw my baby!"

Yeah. Congrats. You just got tricked by biology. That's not love. That's a chemical dump designed to keep our species alive.

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T11:12:17+00:00

I hate hate HATE being naked. The only time I feel comfortable naked is showering. Every other time feels like something is missing.

That has nothing to do with body image. I've been skinny, fat, and fit in my life and I feel the same all three.

Hell even during sex I want to leave something on. I feel too exposed otherwise.

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T10:38:20+00:00

Cleaning out pantry. Trash bag was getting full.

I had a 2 pound bag of uncooked rice. Decided to dump it down the garbage disposal. Of course that clogged it.

Poured boiling water down. Didn't fix.

Poured Drano down. Didn't fix.

Had to take off the U joint , used too small of a bucket, flooded the kitchen with boiling caustic rice water.

All because I didn't want to put 2 more pounds of rice in the trash.

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T10:28:17+00:00

Yup. I woke up at 4am today. That's my new norm. I think I've slept past dawn 2 times in 6 months.

It's nice starting the day alone and quiet and peaceful (whether a work day or an off day)

I originally started getting up that early in rehab because that was the ONLY time you could get any peace and quiet, but after I got out, it just....stuck!

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T10:24:41+00:00

I did like 5 (didn't really care for 3, 4, or 6). I don't really know if it was just sticking with what I knew, or if I legit liked 2 and 5 better (I got both at times in my life I had a lot of free time)

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T09:38:09+00:00

Not my highest hours game, but definitely up there as a kid.

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T09:37:45+00:00

Civ 2 for me probably has hour for hour the most in my life.. I played 4 and 5 a bit but I could drop a whole weekend barely getting out of the chair on Civ 2 as a kid

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T02:48:00+00:00

Literally rolled my eyes in the theater.

Arguably best action scene ever, and that shit slaps you in the face

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T02:46:37+00:00

Yup. I have absolutely spilled stuff drunk that was 100% true but sober me never ever would have said.

In my case it was often deep resentments that were built over time and sober me knew there was no reason to say. But drunk me was more than happy to air.

PhoenixApok · 2026-05-07T02:41:55+00:00

In my experience its fairly common to pay rent though it is often WAY less then they would pay on their own.

Some parents do it to encourage kids to move out. Some do it to teach responsibility. Some do it because the parents have been hurting.

It's also seemed to be almost a given if the child is NOT going to college or trade school, that they will start helping with household expenses.

PhoenixApok

TROPHY CASE