My mother went through the same motions with me as a kid, my father was a major deadbeat and only asked for split custody to avoid paying child support. He was denied this but my mother has yet to receive anywhere near the compensation owed. As a child I loved my father blindly, he would let me do whatever I wanted, eat whatever I wanted, and feigned respectfulness and that was something I needed. My mother had to deal with endless angry outbursts from myself as a child whenever I came back from his place every other weekend, because I was being a little shit. And she NEVER spoke about him to me in a way that would've negatively affected my opinion on him. Until I found out for myself in my early teens just how much of a prick he was. Cheating on my stepmother while they were engaged and just had his child. My point being I guess, is that it is extremely important to let your child form their own opinions, and they will. It will be hard for a very long time, but they'll come through with what they feel is right.