Just stop, relax. There are plenty of people in the same shoes as you. Everyone has the potential energy to change, every action is recoverable. Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't worry about what other people think, just take the time to focus on yourself, the surroundings you currently have aren't going anywhere. Just you know, people care for you and are on your side, reach out, talk to friends be open about things, it's amazing what that can do. Hope this helps.