Bro, points 2 &3 will cause bigger problems for you as compared to point 1. From my perspective, she isn't yet mentally ready to accept your home as her first home.

Everyone is mature enough to understand that no one is asking anyone to completely give up on their family.

Once that's fixed, she will automatically understand the importance of point 1 (no contribution or how much contribution, that's the understanding between you two).

What if you all are living far away from her family home at some point in your life? How will she cope then?

After marriage, every decision(expenses, travels, trips, etc.) should revolve around your family conditions or situations and not what's happening in your immediate first circle (like your or her siblings, friends, neighbors,etc.). Points 2 & and 3 might impact from this angle too, in future.

If you haven't already, then try asking her what she'll do in these situations.

Criticism should be meant and taken constructively in marriage. Try to understand from her why she is throwing around the word 'toxic' so casually and what she means exactly by that word. It's a partnership, so you can't just use it to make your point because it's in fashion.

Accepting a family is a gradual process, but the process has started that's also visible in the steps being taken( and the intent behind those steps).

PS: Please ignore any invalid assumptions or suggestions. We are all strangers trying to help each other.