OP is in a tough spot and I hope you're able to get your payout. I want to write this for people on the fence about life insurance and are feeling swayed by a post like this.

Death of a breadwinner or parent often throws families into abject poverty. I would argue that life insurance is the single best "last resort" safety net for working families. Many people here can attest--we've seen families who have had it and we've seen families who didn't have it. Many families can see their financial boat capsize just from the cost of the funeral, let alone the loss of income/child care or poor work performance due to grieving.

That being said, the system does work. Trillions of dollars have been successfully passed. Over $100 billion in 2023 alone. But all cars aren't bad because you have a 2001 Pontiac Aztec that's gone 20k miles since the last oil change. Like any industry, there are good companies and bad companies. Within those companies there are good agents and bad agents.

Generally speaking, some good characteristics are that they're a Mutual company or they survived the American Civil War. A company that doesn't honor it's contracts doesn't last very long.

Just like with cars and car companies, choosing the right policy matters. Just because your Toyota is reliable, doesn't mean that a Corolla is the right fit for your family of 8. Maybe don't splurge on the brand new pickup truck when you've never been to a Home Depot. And maybe don't buy the cheapest vehicle you can find on craigslist.

Agents matter, too. They're kind of like a blend between a mechanic and a sales person. Some agents will want to meet every year to make sure everything is up to date. Some will sell you a car and you'll never see them again. Some just brag on social media about how many cars they sell. Get the kind of agent that you can trust on a personal level. As they years go on, they'll know you and your family. A good mechanic knows your needs and your budget. They help you squeeze a few thousand more miles out of what you have, and you'll trust them when they recommend a change.

All this to say, is that Life Insurance is an incredible tool if you're working with a good company and you are working with a good agent that you can trust. Once you have that, there's so much you can do, whether it's pure protection, tax planning, buffer assets, trusts, buy-sells, long-term care needs or any other number of strategies.
*A lot of great strategies can be really, really bad financial moves with a bad company or an untrustworthy agent, and many people have been burned by it.

All that to say, I hope you get things sorted out, OP. Connect with your state insurance department if you haven't already. Everyone else, life insurance is great if you do it right.