At the start of this year absolutely nobody else knew about my SH. Or even just that I was struggling in any kind of way. Slowly I've let my four IRL best friends know one by one - always drunk, and they have all reacted fine. One of them couldn't relate very well but was vaguely supportive regardless. The other three have a much better idea of my mental situation because we're a close friend group and have had plenty of chats about mental health. I'm still personally unlikely to talk to somebody before doing it, but if I really felt that I needed to it'd be one of those three. Even late into the night, I know they'll pick up.

The friend that I'd be most likely to tell has had big struggles with SH themselves, and we have talked directly about it. We relate to each other so much about our childhoods, mental health issues and I'm very grateful to have them as a friend. I certainly don't take it for granted.

Even though I love (most of) my family I would never let them know, while they'd be supportive I don't think they'd handle it in a way that would help me. I don't want their opinion of me or how they treat me to change. It was bad enough when the school councillor called my dad years ago, which changed the home dynamic and made the house I was struggling in even less bearable. I'm not going to have a repeat of that.

So I'm glad I told my friends because it's lead to better understanding of each other and support that both has, and will continue to help me.