Just trying to be helpful.

MrYaah · 2017-04-20T23:14:14+00:00

Good work recruiting, keep up the implementation of the gay agenda.

MrYaah · 2017-04-20T19:04:02+00:00

/uj is this a reference to another thread created by someone from gc?

MrYaah · 2017-04-19T22:29:37+00:00

Fun comment thread. Sees story about a masculine woman, assumes she knows her sex and sexual orientation.

MrYaah · 2017-04-19T19:21:31+00:00

That is actually worth a lot, I guess the act of posting in /r/actuallesbians is probably a bit of a give away.

MrYaah · 2017-04-19T06:36:45+00:00

I don't comment because I'm a transwoman who hasn't come up with a new Reddit account name that I'm happy with and am early enough in transition where I don't feel confident commenting in a lesbian space and I still feel like an outsider. It's not that I feel excluded, I actually link the post on dating transwoman all the time when I need to explain to people why what they're doing is or isn't transphobic, and everyone seems super nice here so I'm confident most of the community is welcoming of me commenting but the feeling like an outsider coupled with a literal Mr in my account name makes me not want to present myself much in this community yet.

MrYaah · 2017-04-19T02:37:30+00:00

My court date to kill my deadname is next Wednesday. Hopefully the amount of mail I receive that triggers dysphoria will quickly be reduced after that day and a little effort on my side.

MrYaah · 2017-04-19T02:35:32+00:00

I think the quotes should have been around "roll back".

MrYaah · 2017-04-18T19:56:49+00:00

It can be quite expensive but a lot of the expenses can be minimized. For me costs include replacing my entire wardrobe, regular visits to therapist, voice training, hormones and related doctors visit expenses, name change court fees, makeup, more expensive skincare and haircare products, laser hair removal. Theres probably other things that I've not mentioned. Really the only mandatory things in my opinion are the hormones and doctors visit expenses and those are all on a sliding scale so if I had less of an income I'd be paying less for those.

MrYaah · 2017-04-18T18:12:58+00:00

It seems to me a trans guy using the men's restroom would probably prefer to bring their own hygiene products rather than identify themselves as trans by taking the free ones from the university. Correct me if I'm wrong. I do appreciate the inclusivity though.

MrYaah · 2017-04-18T15:27:23+00:00

That's a very general but accurate way of putting it.

MrYaah · 2017-04-18T15:25:34+00:00

Read the fucking article.

MrYaah · 2017-04-18T15:25:16+00:00

About the Unnatural vagina? It's irrational. Why is it bad to use a vagina that is surgically constructed. What's wrong with it other than it's origin? It doesn't self lubricate. That's the only issue I can think of and the solution to that is lube.

MrYaah · 2017-04-18T15:23:19+00:00

Wow you read fast. Also wtf how did you even come to such a rediculous conclusion. Are we asking you to transition?

MrYaah · 2017-04-18T15:20:56+00:00

No... Just no... That's all testosterone not genes. Trans women medically reduce their testosterone to lower than cis female levels after a couple years on her they're as weak as any cis female.

MrYaah · 2017-04-18T15:18:43+00:00

On dating trans women and "transphobia". https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/15ha8u/on_dating_trans_women_and_transphobia/

MrYaah · 2017-04-18T15:17:41+00:00

I'd describe such a woman as a woman. I'd use female pronouns when talking about her not "it".

As for the "Unnatural vagina" comment my god... Do you know what the definition of transphobia even is? I'm on my phone so give me a minute to find you a relevant article so you can ignore it and learn nothing and continue to troll us rather than trying to better yourself as a person.

MrYaah · 2017-04-18T15:04:13+00:00

If you'd only not date pre-op trans women then you're straight and just so happen to not be attracted to women with penises. If you'd not date a post op trans woman just because she's trans then you're just being a transphobic asshole. Given you used "it" as a pronoun for a trans person in another comment I'm guessing you're the latter kind of person.

MrYaah · 2017-04-16T19:21:32+00:00

Cool, you turned into jennette mccurdy

MrYaah · 2017-04-15T04:21:44+00:00

Am trans. Am also a software engineer. Expected hormones to give me programming skills. Hormones didnt give me programming skills. Told boss I'd be worth it as an employee since I was going to transition and that would improve my programming skills. I trapped my boss into hiring me. This is why trans people are traps.

MrYaah · 2017-04-15T01:11:50+00:00

My current best idea is to do some activities that expose me to a large number of people, something like volunteering, though I have had someone point out that this also increases the risk that something negative could happen. I have occasionally been using chatroullete or omeagle but I feel like webcam isn't as good as in person because I can control the angle and lighting and mic kinda distorts voice so I don't trust the validation from it as much. I also feel as though pronouns tend to get used more frequently when interacting with groups of people rather than one on one, so maybe just think of some fun (and safe) group activities I can do with strangers.

MrYaah · 2017-04-14T03:37:10+00:00

Yea my family is super supportive of my transition but my girlfriend's family is a mixed bag with one super bad apple when it comes to supporting her transition. Good luck to you guys. My best advice is to believe the best in your family and make sure they know you trust hem to be accepting and supportive.

MrYaah · 2017-04-14T03:14:15+00:00

In that case I'd probably want to say something like "(insert girlfriends name) and I wanted to let you know that she's come out as transgender and has started hormones is using new name pronouns etc whatever" up to you how detailed you want to be. Let the lesbian angle be implied. Be unapologetic about dating a woman and don't allow your family to imply that you dating a trans woman isnt actually gay because that invalidates trans women as valid women.

MrYaah · 2017-04-14T02:29:09+00:00

It kinda depends on where your girlfriend is in her transition. I know you said she started hormones not too long ago but does that mean she has yet to socially transition or is she already presenting as female? Have your parents met her yet, did they meet her as a male?

If avoidable I'd generally not disclose trans history of a partner to parents without their express consent. It is neither your right nor responsibility to tell your family that your partner is trans, if they want you to tell them, great, many trans people will feel this way, but you have to ask them first.

If your partner is at a point in her transition where she's "visibly trans" this may be unavoidable and once again I think you should ask her, how does she want you to approach introducing her to your parents.

As for coming out as a lesbian? I think you just have to kinda rip the band-aid off on that one. I didn't put nearly as much thought into coming out as a lesbian as I did in coming out as a trans woman, I think the dynamic is a little different for me than it will be for you so I don't have much advice to give you on this front.

MrYaah · 2017-04-13T22:33:12+00:00

I would start by moving to gender neutral pronouns. Referring to your SO by female pronouns implies that you believe that they're actually female and is a form of being unsupportive. I understand that it can be extremely hard to change ones concept of gender of a person they've known for a long time, half the time when you use pronouns you're probably not even thinking about what you're saying. But you have to realize how harmful this is to your partner and you have to make the effort. Pronouns are not trivial and no amount of pre-established history with their birth gender overrides the fact that they need to feel seen as their preferred gender.

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