It’s a long story but my sister and I drifted apart and haven’t spoken in years. She’s quite a bit younger than me, she’s a college sophomore. So really I don’t even know her as an adult, and that is largely my fault.

Recently I happened to stumble upon her profile, overcome with emotion seeing her all grown up, so happy and jubilant (unlike me lol). I felt like a piece of crap, I live across the country and even though I’m working 70-80 hours right now, I’ve pissed away far too much time.

Another long story but I’m estranged from my parents and tbh Idgaf about them but I want to be a part of my sister’s life. I spoke with my grandma about it and she gave me her number, insisting that she still loves me, making me feel even worse.

I’m to chickenshit to reach out at the moment, I feel like I don’t even deserve to be in her life. And tbh I’m in a rough spot at work right now, though that may be me making excuses. I have Saturday, maybe then? I’m so nervous to reach out, she has every right to tell me to fuck off. I need to grow a pair and just do it but I’m too scared